Liberty (Revelation) - Chapter 1

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  Susan daughter is Althea.  Susan is suppose to be the Arch Angel of The Covenant, but her brother Tim (Heinrich Himler) and her new husband Greg Zito (Benito Mussolin) keep sending messages on Facebook saying, "Stop saying she's the devil's child."  I NEVER SAID THAT!  I ALWAYS PRAYED FOR GOD'S WILL THROUGHOUT THE NIGHTMARE I LIVED AND SUSAN BECAME PREGNANT WITH ALTHEA!"  I HAVE ALWAYS SAID SHE WAS GOD'S CHILD!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  Heinrich Himler

  

  Heinrich Himler

  
  

  

  
  

  

  Benito Mussolini

  

  
  

  

  Adolf Hitler/Goliath

  
  

  It's been rumored that Himler, Hitler and Mussolini were gay.  Only God knows if that is true, but I know that Steve Austin who I believe to once have been George Washington (Steve Austin - 6 Million Dollar Man) and Jim Beam (Martha Washington/Please come to Boston/Jim Beam) are now gay.  They are both very wise and and believe in God.  If people would let me keep writing about this stuff, they would see that God is okay with being gay and little girls playing with themselves is okay too,  BUT THE CREEP SHOWS MUST STOP!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Oh, and by the way, David Beaty who was once Jesus was manipulated to turn what they made an anaconda into a Minna Choi and play with it while the voices in my head hated me or loved me.  They were ruthless.  When it's all said and done, God made sure it was Jesus and Minna Choi playing with themselves together.  Spider man helped me understand that.  And, spider woman seems to be helping us.  If I sound insane, I'm not.  THEY ARE CREEPS!  THIS IS SERIOUS.  KEEP READING.

  
  

  When the Book of Revelation speaks of Fornication, it is on a brutally sadistic and satanic level.  It's sick.  Sex is a beautiful gift from God that must be respected or evil and disrespectful people  will suffer all of it's wrong doing 12 times over.  Never ending HELL FOR EVIL!

  
  

  (10/7/15) My blog has 200 hits.  I have been fighting with that devil all day and I recently set up my blog to have advertising so I could somehow make money.  Just now:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Your blog doesn't currently qualify for AdSense. Learn more

  Thanks a lot New World Order.  You won't inhabit this planet.

  
  

  (10/30/15) - They are so brutal to me.  The money that was raised for me back in February of 2013 after I jumped off of a 5 story parking garage to go to NEVER ENDING HELL because the world was going to end has been stolen out of my account.  I had about $1900 of the $3000 left.  They have also emptied my food stamp ebt card to $0.  They also keep cranking my electricity bill up and they have shut off my electricity.  THEY RAPED ME BEFORE AND NOW THEY ARE RAPING LITTLE ASIAN WOMEN.  Why doesn't anyone care? 

  
  

  
  

  They are trying to get to Minna Choi who is at City Church San Francisco.  I was once Abraham, Able, King Tut, King David of the Bible, Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Davy Crockett - King of the Wild frontier, Franklin D Roosevelt and now DAVID BEATY.  MINNA WAS ALWAYS MINNA AS SHE WILL REMAIN WITH JESUS!  SHE HAS REMAINED FAITHFUL TO THE REAL JESUS CHRIST - ME!

  
  

  I have been to the FBI and I just called the Covington, Kentucky Police Department  I had already tried The Cincinnati Police Department.  I also called Berkeley Police.  Their is too much Mafia going on.  I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON PEOPLE FOR GOD AND I AM UNTOUCHABLE BY GOD!

  
  

  
  

  ONE MONTH AFTER I JUMPED OFF THE BUILDING BECAUSE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END BECAUSE A METEOR WAS GOING TO DESTROY THE EARTH AND I WAS GOING TO A VSCIOUS NEVER ENDING HELL FOR YOU SO YOU COULD GO TO HEAVEN - THIS HAPPENED.  WE CAN RING THE WORLD PEACE BELL ON DECEMBER 7 OR.....

  
  

  
  

  

  "SABBATH BLOODY SABBATH, WHAT'S A MAN TO DO?"
  

  
  

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  People need to understand that the meteor made it to earth, but had I not have sacrificed myself, that DA14 Asteroid that passed by would not have just passed by.  IT WOULD HAVE DESTROYED THIS EARTH YOU WOULD ALL BE IN A NEVER ENDING HELL!  I WOULD BE IN FOREVER HEABEN!! YOU FUCKING WELCOME!

  
  

  "Coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous."  

  
  

  - Albert Einstein (Tennessee Jed, Jeff Livengood, (3-2-17 - He also was also Isaac, Sir Isaac Newton, Thomas Jefferson, Jefferson Davis....  and he ain't parrallel Jeff Livenbad, because even he's livinggood, but he's not THE LIVENGOOD!  HE'S  THE NEXT BEST/WORST thing! )

  
  

  

  "Better head back to Tennessee Jed!"

  Jerry Garcia was once Samson of the Bible.  Susan was once Delilah.  (3-3-17 Actually, my mother Diana was Delilah) David and Susan danced to Standing on the Moon on their wedding night.   Jerry Garcia is now Samson on the Moon standing with Theodore Roosevelt (Bob Beaty) and JFK because They're on a mission from God!

  
  

  We are from Loveland, Ohio which is right next to Indian Hill. Deborah Koonz, who was married to Jerry Garcia lives in Indian Hill.  She has something to do with Bathesda North Hospital.  Bathesda was David's 2nd wife in the Bible.  My mother Diana was once Cleopatra the Sun Goddess died at Batheseda North Hospital when I was 12. She had a quack doctor.  I was once King Tut.  King Tut and Minna Choi knew each other and will always love each other, but no one will let us be with each other. BOB WEIR (BOBBY MCGEE) INCLUDED!  (3-3-17 BOB WEIR WAS NEVER WRONG TO ME OR ANYONE!  THEY KEPT PUTTING VOICES IN MY HEAD SAYING HE WAS BOBBY MCGEE AND THAT HE WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH MINNA CHOI.  THEY ALSO MANIPULATED CECIL TRENTS AND BEN ROTHLESBUGERS VOICE.  THEY WERE NEVER WRONG TO ANYONE!) "From the time I reached Selina's boy, I let em slip away."  The exon Valdiz slipped the fault for the Seattle Earthquake this Christmas.  The 1964 Tsunami was caused by them and it happened on Good Friday - the day I was crucified.   My Grandpa "Sonny" Chitwood died on Easter Sunday in 1984 three months after I found my mother dying.  They won't stop trying to be me.

  
  

  
  

  Weir

  wir/

  noun

  
  

  1. a low dam built across a river to raise the level of water upstream or regulate its flow.

     • an enclosure of stakes set in a stream is a trap for fish.

  
  
  

  They created the 1964 Tsunami that hit Alaska and The Pacific Northwest.  It was a 9.2 quake that occurred on Good Friday - the day I was crucified.  They also set off the 2004 Tsunami on Christmas Day.  That day, Jane Heinrich asked me, "Don't you fear earth quakes in San Francsico?"  I said, "No, it's Tsunami's I worry about."  IT'S A BIG ONE NOW!

  
  
  
  
  

  THEY HAD A BIG GALA PLANNED FOR BILL GRAHAM AUDITORIUM JUST AFTER THE RIPPLE IN STILL WATER WHEN THEIR IS NO PEBBLE TOSSED NO WIND TO BLOW.   They encored Ripple on 7/3/15.  I guess that's at Trinity thing.  Marty (Pope Martin V) wife, Suzanne is Beezulbub and she chose the nickname Ripple .  The Seattle Tsunami they had planned can not happen.  The World Peace Bell will be rung on 12/7/71 or ARMEGEDDON on 11/15/15

  
  

  Bob Weir is the infiltrator to the Grateful Dead.  They've been referred to as Bobby and the Ugly Brothers.   Mac who was the Grateful Dead blind roadie for 17 years really saw me through so much as a voice in my head.  The Greatest Story Ever told which could have meant Minna Choi and I met at the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge during the Blue Angels really became "Moses went Riding up on a Quasar."  That means 75 Billion years in hell!  It will always be the Milky Way for us.  (11/10/15)  I just realized Andromeda is approaching to swallow and engulf the The Milky Way.  Thank God for Andromeda.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  That's DARK for those who do not surrender.   This works the true Grateful Dead who are not about money.  My blind roadie Mac said Bob Weir is all about the money.  We all have sick addictions, but this will create an apocalyptic Black HOLE!  NOT GOOD FOR BOB unless he becomes the RAT DOG!  HE WON'T GET TO BE A TRUE WHARF RAT, HE WILL BE A NIGHTMARE BEATEN IN HELL.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/31/15) Minna Chois voice in my head is telling me how Bob Weir is being such a creep to her.  He has something to do with this digital blasphemy.    Why won't people leave Minna Choi's and I alone.  THE MINNA CHOI AND I ARE WANTING TO RING THE WORLD PEACE BELL.  What is wrong with people? We are in love.  This planet is disgusting.  If we don't get to love each other and get married on December 7th, this world is going to end.  It's not what I want.  It's not what I worked so hard to happen, but I can't change what God does.  We can't take it anymore.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/4/15) I recently realized that Bob Weir was in fact Bobby McGee.  "From the coal mines of Kentucky, to the California sun, Bobby shared the secrets of my soul." ( (Bobby McGee set off the 1906 earth quake.  And, the Galvestine Hurricane of 1900 was cloud seeded just like Hurricane Katrina was caused by the Evil New World Order as I wrote about in Contrails  in 2006.

  
  

  I have to publish this thing in three parts.  Today is 10/6/15 and I just can't get this evil to let up on me.  It's going to The San Francisco Chronicle!

  
  

  I sat in the lobby of The San Francisco Chronicle for over an hour and not one reporter came down.  I guess this New Jerusalem is in fact New World Order Headquarters.  I knew I saw Aqua man for a reason on my way.

  
  

  On my way there, I played Jesus of Suburbia out loud on my phone and people cried as I walked by them.

  
  

  (10/7/15)  I have tried to share this on facebook, but El Diablo who works at City Church will not stay out of my computer.  He's ruthless in his pursuit of a never ending hell.  I don't know what else to say.  I emailed it to Bill Cunningham at 700WLW in Cincinnati in hopes to get it viral.  I've recently understood that my dad was once General Burnside. 

  
  

  (10/18/15)  It appears that San Francisco, California and Cincinnati, Ohio are New World Order Headquarters.

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  TERRIFYING HELLCRAFT/LUCIFER

  
  

   I didn't even know it when I was at a Night for City Hope, but Terry Haycroft is in fact Lucifer.  I took Gabriella who was Alano's Sax and she would later forsake me.  I thought she was Satan, but she may just be Gabriella.  She moved here from Seattle.  City Church is also in Seattle.  The Truth is brutal, but it's their only escape route.  The Universe is undefeatable. "The Center of the earth is the end of the world and I could really care less!"

  
  

  

  Gabriella/Satan?

  Before I move on, I'd like to add that Terry Haycroft worked in Silicon Valley and is responsible for this digital blasphemy that is occurring.  He's in my computer all the time.  He recently got into my yahoo email and changed the password and now I can't change it back.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  If you can't read it, it says "wantithardandfast" and "girlwouldlikeithard".  Evil has messed with me my whole life.  The book of Revelation talks about Fornication being a big problem.  When I have been high on something he sends women my way and I have been with them.  I'm not perfect and when I'm messed up, my inhibitions are down.  Now, that I am clean and they come my way, I always pass up the temptation.  I'll never be with a woman I don't love.  Sodham and Gomorrah.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (4/15/16) After you listen to one of my favorite Grateful Dead songs, go ahead and start reading Chapter 1.  I have so much more to write.  I will expand upon the introduction if you are reading it today (4/15/16), but eventually move on my 1000 year prophesies that my True Kings and True Prophets (Rock Stars) have laid out for us.
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  CHAPTER 1

  BBBB - LIBERTY (Revelation)
  
  

  

  
  

  (I began writing this blog on 7/7/15)
  
  

  I'd like to dedicate this blog to Kit Kat.  She was in the blog Sleepless in Santa Cruz.   My nickname was Tiger, but Kit Kat called me Dave!  God loves Kit Kat.   

  
  

  (10/3/15 - Space - Time)  

  
  

  

  I saw it written 'cross the sky, the Revolution starts here

  
  

  This is what the Lord says to me:
      

  I will remain quiet and will look on from my dwelling place, like shimmering heat in the sunshine,
      like a cloud of dew in the heat of harvest.
  For, before the harvest, when the blossom is gone
      and the flower becomes a ripening grape,
  he will cut off the shoots with pruning knives,
      and cut down and take away the spreading branches.

  They will be left together for mountain birds of prey, And for the beasts of the earth; And the birds of prey will spend the summer feeding on them, And all the beasts of the earth will spend harvest time on them.
  
  

  - Isiah 18:4-7

  
  

  Today I went to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass to hear Steve Earle (Isaiah).  I have had Steve Earles voice in my head lately and he recently realized who I really am.  His voice in my head said that he would play  The Revolution Starts Now.   I wrote that blog on 10/7/13 after being at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass and it got published on 11/4/13 .  I would end up going to the hospital the day after I saw him on 10/7/13.  I had Pancreatitis.

  
  

  Yesterday, I was in the very front row of Hardly Strictly Bluegrass.  I kept thinking, "I know he's going to play it!"  I know that's been his voice!  Friday night with his voice in my head he realized that David Beaty was in fact in San Francisco and would be at the show.  He said, "You're in San Francisco and you're Jesus?"  He was so excited!  Towards the end of the show, Steve Earle started talking about how something just hasn't been right lately with Hurricanes and weather.  He talked about how this was supposed to be the beginning of the rainy season in San Francisco but we've been in a drought for 5 years.  It was in Contrails that I wrote in 2006, that I would write:

  
  

  As usual, “the boats” came out in formation.  They formed a line out in the bay with an equal distance between each other.  Suddenly I heard a series of popping noises.  I looked to my right, toward the Golden Gate Bridge and saw flashes of light coming my way, each being equally as far apart as the other.  One flashed right in front of me.  It left a small cloud of smoke.  I could even smell it.  Suddenly, the ground I was sitting on began moving beneath me.  I was now sitting atop a landslide!  I began climbing as fast as I could - through trees, rocks and mud.  It was very dark and I was very scared!  I felt like I was climbing for my life.

  
  

  
  

  I finally made it to some solid rock.  I looked back and saw evidence of the landslide.  I walked around to where there is a labyrinth at a point beside the Golden Gate Bridge.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  (I'm writing this 8-20-12 - Space-Time)   Labyrinth at Lands End.  I have since taken photos on a clearer day but had these already in a file for this blog I wrote in 2006.  Those photos are likely on a detachable hard drive in one of my storage units somewhere in San Francisco.  Confusing life.  Apparently, it was foggy when I went out there to take photos for this blog.  That's the Golden Gate Bridge in the fog.  I found a labyrinth just up the road in Bernal Heights Park.  I am going to draw a map to this one, print some copies and place them in the center of the one up the road.  It might help The Universe somehow.  It will.  They are fun to get to the center.  There are always interesting offerings once one reaches it.

  I saw the bridge, but I could not see the lights of San Francisco.  I thought to myself, “Has there been a major earthquake?  Is San Francisco gone?  Is my wife dead?”  Then I thought to myself. “Maybe I am the one who is dead!”  It was the most eerie feeling I have ever felt.  I recently read there is a psychotic condition in which people who are alive think they are dead.  It is called Cotard’s Syndrome.  I believe I have experienced Cotard’s Syndrome on a few occasions.  On these occasions I was always very high on crystal meth.

  
  

  I later found evidence that I was not dead and that San Francisco was in fact still there.  However, I would also find evidence that there was a landslide.  I believe these are common in this area, especially when a person spends days there.  But what were those flashes?  Electromagnetic impulses?  Did “they” cause that landslide?

  
  

  I believed “they” created that landslide.  I began to suspect “they” could create earthquakes.  “They” could control the weather.  I also thought they may somehow be using contrails to accomplish these things.  After all, I had at times seen contrails forming in crazy patterns in the sky just before the weather would change or just before a huge wave would come out of nowhere.  I would always share my suspicions with my wife.  She, of course thought I was crazy.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I think I was on to something - someone or something was controlling all of these things.  However, I am not sure if humans have as much to do with it as I originally thought.  In one way or another, I now believe humans do have something “to do with it”.  Just not quite like I was thinking before.

  
  

  I guess you could call that one of my incredibly major burning bush moments.  I mentioned how Gabriella would forsake me.  I have since learned that she went out to that labyrinth and destroyed it.  I always used to tell her we should go out there and photograph it because she lives out at Ocean Beach near Lands End.  I thought it would be cool for us to do.

  
  

  

  
  

  It has since been rebuilt, however, this really angers me and God.  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  And, as you will read later, she really forsakes me on my next trip there after I made a sacrifice and some offerings.  I left the labyrinth singing The Jesus of Suburbia.  As soon as I left it, I was immediately forsaken by Gabriella.

  
  

  I already wrote more about Moses below in The Greatest Story Ever Told. It was at the end of 2o10 that the evil voices began telling me I was in fact evil, but I still never gave up on God for God.  As I wrote above, Steve Earle said that it's supposed to be the beginning of our rainy season here in San Francisco, but we've been in a drought for 5 years.  Then, the wind kicked up and clouds began moving in.  "I saw it written cross the sky, the revolution starts here."  They played a couple more songs and then the show ended.  They left the stage for a few minutes and then Steve Earl returned and said something like, "We aren't leaving with out playing this one!"  And, then encored with The Revolution Starts Now!  It was so awesome.  It was Biblical!  God is so amazing.

  
  
  

  

  Isaiah the prophet predicted the time of peace when people will beat swords into plowshares.

  (10/15/15)  I've had Minna Choi's voice in my head and we are so in love.  I don't know much about Minna Choi, but I know I was born on December 7, 1971 exactly 30 years after Pearl Harbor was bombed.  I've been planning on writing a blog called Open up Your Heart and Let The Sun Shine In.  I went to the crater in Arizona when I was 5 years old with my mother who I found dying when I was 12.  Recently, The Flintstones Amusement Park was abandoned.  I've never been to Pearl Harbor, but I've always wanted to visit the Arizona.  I want to marry Minna Choi above the Arizona and I don't know why!  I'm told that will ring the world Peace Bell.  She's so beautiful.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  (10/18/15)  It's a long story that I will expand on, but today I went back to Glide Church this morning and the performance was about me!  I'll explain more later, but afterward I took the 38 out to Lands End, drove a Stanford golf ball with some nice men, walked the Labyrinth which shut the door on hell and then I went to the buffalo.  After that I went to the spot in Golden Gate Park that I was able to get my mother out of hell and laid down.  I turned on Marry Me by Train in my headphones and laid there with my arms out looking up into the clouds.  I kissed Minna Choi in the clouds!  Cupid is the psyche of David and Minna Choi is the psyche of Tinker Bell.

  
  

  (10/15/15) I had already called The Apostle Paul earlier that day while at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass and told him I would like to meet with him while at City Church.  I had been lying on the ground in the middle of Golden Gate Park.  I felt so depleted, but Hardly Strictly Bluegrass draws 750,000.   A vast majority of which are just plain old Good people.  I lied in the middle of the festival for over and hour completely collapsed.  

  
  

  (10/12/15) - I now understand, Gabriella saw me laying on the ground.  Her Voice in my head confirmed this.  I was being so drained into the ground, but I was not worried.  I was just so tired.  (10/4/15 - 11:20 - Space Time) Steve Earle's voice just said to me that he wanted me to get up while I was out there.  I did and I found a few Wharf Rats.  One guy gave me a couple pieces of candy and I hung out with them for a bit and then moved.  I'll explain more below but I now know I got my mom out of hell.

  
  

  When I woke up I told Apostle Paul who El Diablo was and how he worked at City Church.  He asked me if I had gotten any sleep.  I told him I had not slept in 5 days, because of evil voices in my head would not let up.   He suggested I get some sleep last night and that we could talk after church.

  
  

  (10/8/15 - I just called Paul at city church.  I talked to him earlier today and he said that I should not speak to Terry Haycroft or Minna Choi in church on Sunday.  Just now, he asked if I would be willing to go in for a mental evaluation.  I told him I didn't need one and he said I would not be welcome at service on Sunday.  I hung up on him and I'll see them on Sunday!  At least I got Apostle Junia's blessing.)

  
  

  (10/9/15 - I just remembered that the voices in my head told me that Minna Choi was married to Terry Haycroft.  While I was talking to Paul yesterday and he was telling me I needed my head examined, I asked "Do you hear voices?"  His answer was "No".  I asked "was Terry Haycroft once married to Minna Choi?"  His answer, "Yes".  I never knew that.  We saw each other for our little coffee date last week is all Minna Choi and I did. 

  
  

  (10-4-15 - Space - Time)  I'm at City Church today.  I prayed all night and morning that Minna Choi would be here.  I haven't seen her and Apostle Paul said she may be doing something with The Beatles Choir today, so I probably won't see her.  I really want to let her know who I know she really is.)

  
  

  (10/11/15 - I just went to City Church.  Tyrone who is the pastor at the Outpost next door to City Team, was at the door.  He said I was not welcome.  He said Paul told him not to let me in.  I ask him if Minna Choi was there and he wouldn't answer.  He said I should go write at Starbucks.  I guess City Church really is the Church of Satan.  I sent a Facebook posting to Christi who is with Minna Choi's Beatles Choir who performs at Laguna Honda Hospital.  I can't believe they wouldn't let me in their church.) 

  
  
  

  

  Christi

  
  

  (10/12/15 - Minna Choi's voice in my head just told me that Steve Earles voice told her to go meet me.  She was like, "Why does Steve Earle want me to go to City Church".  The coffee date was kept. She's so cute. Get our of our heads!)

  
  

  
  

  (10/12/15) Like I said, when I was at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass I told Apostle Paul who El Diablo was and how he worked at City Church.  He asked me if I had gotten any sleep.  I told him I had not slept in 5 days, because of evil voices in my head would not let up.   He suggested I get some sleep last night and that we could talk after church.   I just remember that Tyrone told me to go write at Starbucks.  He told me The Russian Center was not a Government building.  I can't really afford Starbucks, so I went to the Bus Stop which is a Cincinnati Bengals Bar on Union Street and the really nice bartender gave me a free soda.  I made sure this one had sugar.  I don't do aspartame!  I wrote for a bit there.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  On my way home, I walked past a church at the corner of Broadway and Van Ness.  Years ago, I spent so many nights in that church's door.  It always had a candle burning.  A couple of weeks ago before I went looking for Mary, I decided I should go pray in the doorway.  I never knew who I was back then, but I noticed something:

  
  
  

  
  

  I never realized all of those years that I was standing above myself and had the 12 apostles beside me.  I prayed for God's Will.  More importantly I listened to "Are we the Waiting".

  
  

  Starry nights city lights coming down over me

  Skyscrapers and stargazers in my head

  Are we we are are we we are the waiting unknown

  This dirty town was burning down in my dreams

  Lost and found city bound in my dreams

  
  

  
  

   

  
  

  I left the bar with the Bengals game on and the score was 7 to 7.  I just couldn't be there.  I love my Bengals, but I was having a hard time.  I needed to go home and write.  I would later learn that the Bengals went down 24 to 7.  It took me a while to walk to this church, so I'd like to think my heartfelt prayer for God's Will helped the Bengals come back and win 27 to 24 in overtime.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  When I got back to Fox Plaza, I got to wondering about why I was told to go to Starbucks.  After all, Starbucks is in Seattle. What is in their ingredients?

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  I found it interesting that Starbucks Coffee has Fish and Crustacean Shellfish.  I guess that's not vegetarian.  Gabriella (Satan) lived in Seattle before she moved to San Francisco and got her little beach chalet at Ocean Beach.  Before that she lived in Philadelphia.

  
  

  Free Will is a beautiful gift from God that allows us to go to the park and eat a strawberry.  (Strawberry Fields Forever)

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/10/15)  Yesterday while writing at Justin Herman Plaza, I received strawberry shortcake delivery of a strawberry milkshake.  This cute African American woman walked and gave me a delicious strawberry.  I was so hungry and it really hit the spot.  Thank you Strawberry Shortcake!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/10/15) I was just harassed by a San Francisco Police Officer.  He told me, "Donald Trump is not the Mafia."  I said, "Yes he is. San Francisco Police are corrupt mafia."  He disputed it a bit as we walked away and started writing a ticket to a black mustang.  There was a black man standing in front of me for a while.  Not sure what that's about.  Then, this Asian couple ran up to try to stop him.  He would end of up giving them the ticket and walking off with the black man.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  PHOTO HERE

  
  

  
  

  
  

  After I wrote Lola Montez, Susan suggested I not write so much so people wouldn't give up on me.   She suggested I write a song or a poem.  King David of the Bible wrote Psalms.  I wrote:

  
  

  
  

  Living life in San Francisco

  Makes Revelation more believable

  Looking for resident evil

  his army aunts carry pistols

  
  

  Book of Revelation in San Francisco

  makes life more sensible

  He sends her my way and she's irritable

  She breaks my heart and I start to miss her

  
  But I know I'll find my way

  I'm the rising star of Dave

  Gotta learn to behave

  I'm the rising star of Dave

  
  

  Paul lied to his Jesus

  A friend of the devil doesn't please us

  Voices say they were married

  In Paul's words The Truth was carried

  City Church houses the devil
  I never thought that they were evil
  Minna Choi is an Angel
  Once was married to Lucifer

  
  Tyrone blocked my way

  That's all I have to say

  Life shouldn't be insane

  But the devil's in the hay

  
  But I know I'll find my way

  I'm the rising star of Dave

  I am God's way

  I'm the rising star of Dave
  
  

  As far as Bill Graham Amphitheater goes next door and how Tyrone told me City Church wasn't a government building, I found an interesting message there too. 

  
  

  

  
  If you can't read, it says, Rocky plays there November 15th and then it says Tyler The Creator.  Below on the right is says, "FUCK THE FEDS".
  
  

  I have a neighbor across the hall who takes care of his uncle who was in Laguna  Honda Hospital.  His name is Stryker!  He was born in Camden, New Jersey which is a Naval Ship Yard.  He's a great man.  When he was being born, Philadelphia was experiencing a major blizzard.  Lightning struck twice during his birth.  

  
  

  I remember the time I was really messed up and heading to get more and Stryker was coming out of the elevator.  He said I was looking skinny.  He also told me to pray to God and pointed up.  The other day he said he doesn't go to church but he prays on his balcony every morning.

  
  

  

  
  

  Camden New Jersey is a Naval Shipyard which is basically the hood.  It's kind of like Hunters Point was a Naval Shipyard is a bit of the hood.  I'll never forget when I walked in on Whatsername was with a hells angel and The Jesus of Suburbia ran to Hunters Point.  All the way there were messages written in chalk about how we got you now we got her.  They used Bible verses that seemed to suggest we were both going to hell now.

  
  

  I then went to a port-o-let at Hunters Point.  Hunters Pointis Eyes of the Worlds son's nickname and it had writting in chalk all over the walls bible scriptures about hell.  I will write a lot more in a blog titled The Jesus of Suburbia.

  
  

  I read the graffiti in the bathroom stull like the holy scriptures of the shopping mall and so it seemed to confess

  It didn't say much but it only confirmed that the center of the earth is the end of the world.  

  AND I COULD REALLY CARE LESS!

  
  

  I can't say I could care less at the time.  They told me I was in fact evil, even though I had chosen GOD years ago FOR GOD!  So now that God has shown me that he had this blueprint laid down for me all along, I COULD REALLY CARE LESS!

  
  

  Camden New Jersey is a Naval Shipyard which is basically the hood.  It's kind of like Hunters Point was a Naval Shipyard is a bit of the hood.  I'll never forget when I walked in on Whatsername was with a hells angel and The Jesus of Suburbia ran to Hunters Point.  All the way there were messages written in chalk about how we got you now we got her.  They used Bible verses that seemed to suggest we were both going to hell now.

  
  

  I then went to a port-o-let at Hunters Point.  Hunters Pointis Eyes of the Worlds son's nickname and it had writing in chalk all over the walls bible scriptures about hell.  I will write a lot more in a blog titled The Jesus of Suburbia.

  
  

  I read the graffiti in the bathroom stull like the holy scriptures of the shopping mall and so it seemed to confess

  It didn't say much but it only confirmed that the center of the earth is the end of the world. 

  AND I COULD REALLY CARE LESS!

  
  

  I can't say I could care less at the time.  They told me I was in fact evil, even though I had chosen GOD years ago FOR GOD!  So now that God has shown me that he had this blueprint laid down for me all along, I COULD REALLY CARE LESS!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/26/15) Speaking of "I could really care less,"  I just saw Richard (Stryker) his brother Jarald and Joseph.  I was going to ask Richard if I could use his printer when all of the sudden I realized that Joseph worked on that Bay Bridge.  I said, "Didn't you work on that Bay Bridge?"  He said, "Yes."  I said, "The one that's set to fall?"  He said, "Yeah." 

  
  

  
  

  Richard then said, "It's not his responsibility."  I then said, "Oh, I guess it's just a 6.5 billion dollar bridge project that earned itself 6.5 billion years in hell until the white dwarf forms.  Pathetic.

  
  

  Last year before Christmas, I was in the hospital.  I had to have my gallbladder removed.  The only person I had visit me was Gabriella (Satan).

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  It wasn't the greatest Christmas in the world, but I was alive.  The only person I had visit me was Gabriella (Satan).

  
  

  She invited me to come to The Celestial on Christmas Day.  I went with Mario (Goodwill).  I had never been their and I didn't know it was a sex club.  I did my best to fit in.  Mario and I had some laughs.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  After I went to The Citadel, I went to Richard and Jarrads and Joseph was there and we had dinner.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  Richard just knocked on my door and I let him in.  He told me that Joseph is his accountant and that you don't ask him about that bridge falling down.  He said he he has 4 billion dollars and....  I interrupted him and said, "What does that have to do with $6.5 billion for a bridge that's going to fall into the bay.  He said something like, "Don't you talk to me like that."  I told him to get the fuck out.  He started to stop and I gave him a shove.  He knocked on the door again and told me to never push him and I told him to leave me alone and slammed the door.  I called the police.  I need to talk to them about Susan's Massage Parlor anyway.

  
  

  
  

  He came back to the door and told me not to push him again.  He then hugged me.   He asked if I needed any money.  I told him I called the police.  He said, "Why? Me?"  I said, "That and Susan's Massage Parlor".  He started flipping out.  I slammed the door.  I then realized something.  His name is Richard Sicilian.   I was in Kaiser with David Sicilian.   He came visited me in Laguna Honda all the time.  This girl from Vegas liked him but also wanted to he with me.  Her name is Robyn.  When I worked for David Habisch in Cincinnati, his daughter was also Robin.  She works for the Cincinnati Reds.  Carl Lindner who I believe was Devil Anis Hetfield owns the Reds.  I went to high school in Loveland with a guy named Steve Sicilian.  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  It also occurred to me that Martins went to Loveland.  I believe that's Martin Brother Construction.  That would explain why that new Bay Bridge is set to fall into the bay. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  TOMMY THE TYRANT MARTIN IS ON THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN.  Tommy Martin was a little tyrant to me.  I ignored him because I knew he was worthless and I just don't respond to ridiculousness.  HIS VOICE in my head has been so ruthless.  I remember the first time the New World Order (evil part) showed up in my head after I used.  He was downright ruthless. 

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  Pathetic he shall remain into fiery darkness

  
  
  
  

  Yesterday, 11/1/15, I realized that Donald Trump is in fact the godfather.  The big don who owns Caesars Palace.  He is such a Mafia dirt bag from HELL!

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  His voice in my head has been RETCHED!  HE WILL NOT LET UP.  HE WAS ONCE JULIAS CEASER.  He killed my dad Ptolemy XII and would end up raping my mother Cleopatra.  I was King Tut, who was known as a frail boy but the Egyptians knew I was strong! 

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  My mother and I's hearts were always very close and I didn't know why she would have stabbed herself in the heart.   Just like I never knew why she cut her wrists on Sunrise Drive in Loveland, Ohio.  I would cut my own wrists on Christmas Eve in 2012.  I never knew my birthday was once December 25th when I did.  However, it seems Julias Ceaser snuck a King Cobra in her fig basket.  They wanted it to appear suicide.  Just like the quack doctor infected her with MRSA that I many times had do suffer.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  On the night Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, I spent the night at Baker Beach with a knife cutting my MRSA infection to open it, but was unable to.  It was brutal.  I have about a 2 inch scar on my right lower abdomen below my 3 inch scar where my appendix was once removed.  The Hurricane could not be stopped.  It was still a sponge and not yet a balloon.  Nothing is more painful than cutting into a MRSA infection.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  Donald Trump was so ruthless to me, but then I finally decided to go to the Bus Stop to watch the Bengals play the steelers.  On the way I saw this:

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  On my way to the Bus Stop, I had Minna Choi's voice in my head and I was feeling really happy listening to some nice calm music.  I think I listened to Marry Me by Train.  It was nice until I got into the Bus Stop.  They were playing the Shitsburg Squealers with Ben Rapistburglar.

  
  

  

  
  

  I noticed they were wearing their prison gigs.  That's where he belongs.  The voices in my head have indicated that he is one of the people who does the raping for below.  SO SICK!

  
  

  Minna Choi's voice was being supportive when I walked, in but  once I got in to watch the game, things got complicated.  I just couldn't concentrate.  I believe army aunts infiltrated the place.  I got so mad, Minna Choi and I had are first fight - in my head.  I walked down the street and cranked up God Smack's AWAKE!  "I'm alive for you, I'm awake, because of you...."

  
  

  I would go to Glide Church.  This time, I sat in the balcony. 

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  Looking at the choir, it looked as though Minna Choi had joined the choir.   All these little Asian girls look a like to me, but if she joined Glides Choir, it beats City Church.

  
  

  After a while, they asked if anyone wanted to come up and announce a friend or family member they wanted to remember.  I went downstairs and waited in line.  When I got there to the microphone, I said, "Diana Beaty who was once Cleopatra."

  
  

  
  

  (11/3/15)  I just had to stare into the sun above Trinity Plaza.  That was where lucifer was to reside.  I had to stare into the sun once again because they would not let up.  They are JUST BRUTAL IN MY HEAD.  GOD RETURNS BRUTALITY!

  
  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  The goth fuher of HELL FIRE has reduced the days of the world from the 12 steps of Revelation. THE WORLD WILL END ON 11/15/15.  God knows I tried.   800,000 million will flee.   6.5 billion will remain in HELL FIRE.  THE BLACK SABBATH WILL ARRIVE ON 11/15/15. 

  
  
  
  

  

  "SABBATH BLOODY SABBATH, WHAT'S A MAN TO DO?"

  
  
  
  

  Paul Trudeau has become the olive branch into the darkness.  His hell fury of suspected rape will leach into the fire.  I have begged and pleaded with his voice in my head to tell his truth and he and God know he hears it.  "Paul lied to his Jesus, friend of the devil doesn't please us"

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  The Trinity Plaza of darkness has paintings of a collapsed world all around it.  I have 12 days left to save this place and I will never give up on it for God or for you.  I'm tired and I am worn, but I can't stop trying.  I need to let go and let God.  I'm confused, but God will always be with me.  GOD IS WITH US.  GOD IS THEREFORE WE ARE!  I have feelings and so does God, but God always is.  I can't and will never be God and neither will any of you.  God's Will is all we will know.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of the prophecy, and heed the things which are written in it; for the time is near.

  
  

  
  

  - Revelation 11:3
  
  
  

  AGAIN, THIS ALL OCCURRED ON 11/3!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Please say a prayer to God for this earth and your loved ones.  And, please share this blog.  It's not much of leap of faith.  I want no one to go through the hell I've been through on this earth, including those who are hell bound, but God knows I must let go.  LET GO AND LET GOD.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I HAVE LOVED THIS EARTH TO DEATH.  I'm sorry.  I failed.   I'm not allowed to fail.  Love never fails - God Willing, of course. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I might be an important person, but evil has hurt this angel.  I've been called that.  I LOVE YOU.  I have PTSD because I'm still human.  Cupid is the psyche of David and Minna Choi is Tinker Bell.  I wish the world would allow us to love each other.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  I am writing this in the Civic Center Fountain of Life.  The army aunts and the chinese/italian mafia will never touch me in my fountain of life.  I don't see why they do not surrender.  San Francisco was on it's way to shangra-la darkness, but God will never allow such an earthly understanding.    Nightmare in hell is what they have received unless their truth is told.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I suffered that darkness for so many as they brought it upon for thine self.  They shall never feel the fruits of desire.  The will suffer through hell fire.  So say "SONNY" the chiefton.  If one cannot respect the air in which one breaths then god will be the fire in which they inhale and suffer.  HELL FIRE.  I judge no one.  I am simply the son.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I went to St. Anthony for lunch today.  At first I sat at a handicap table.  Then, I realized what it was, so I moved.  I wasn't paying attention.  I sat with three sophomore students from Oakland who were at St. Anthony to volunteer.  Susan was a sophomore when we met.  These are good kids.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I told them they needed to read my blog.  They were very interested.  The ask many questions and smiled a lot.  They gave me hope in the future.  I know the days are numbered to 12, but I felt like they may really share it with a friend or two.  That's what this world needs!  Kids like these:

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  I then got an email from Andrea Mclellan from Cincinnati.  She wanted to meet me for coffee.  Loveland is so full of Mafia, I'm not sure who to trust.  However, she is the one who visited me at Laguna Honda.  She bought me Nestle Quick and pastels.  It seems very Italian because it is.  The first pastel I did with it was from Dreamer - Touch of Grey.  It's name is Sky.  I didn't even remember Tweaker Chicks name was Sky.  

  
  
  
  

  

  Sky

  
  
  

  I've been seeing Sky and Mary Magdalene all over town. Yesterday, I saw Rod Magdalene (Rudy), who is Mary's dad and said he was Satan. I told him to believe in God and pointed up.  I don't think he is, but GOD knows.  Perhaps, Gabriella is simply Gabriella.  They are all so twisted.  Rod (Rudy) said, "It's voices in his head telling him that."  However, the way I remember him from Throwing Stones, was "Rudy's looking for a fight"

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  I then took the 7 bus up to Coffee to the People on Masonic and Haight.  I wrote my blog there for while while I was at 815 Walden House.  I met with Andrea McClellan who is one of the McClellan sisters.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  On the way, I told a young woman named Kimberlyn to read my blog.  She did not want me to take her photo and understand because she is Asian.   She ask me what Mary Magdelene was like?  I told her she was absolutely beautiful, but I was in love with Minna Choi for some reason.  I told her how one of Mary's nicknames was Mary Jane who is Spider Woman.  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  It turns out that Mary is associated the Manhattan Mafia, but she never sees Rod.  When I was with Mary, she was so sweet, but she told me that her dad would kill her if she knew what she did.  I didn't know who her dad was but I thought she was a prostitute.  I just helped her with some money, but I loved being with her.  I had no idea she was Rod's daughter and maybe she was sent my way.  We spent 5 hours making love that night.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  I then realized that Minna Choi's family has something to do with Voodoo. I think it is being used against Minna Choi women to get to me and her and her kind.  It's so twisted, but I still love her and I just don't understand.  They are not going to RAPE HER!  She is untouchable because she is pure.  They have been using Pserr Majik, Majik Orchestra in a Voodoo way and that is sick.  Men make Minna Choi's play with themselves while they are with them in their heads using things like aspartame, floride,  Pharmecuticals, Novocaine and digital blasphemy.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  They tell them how wrong they are for playing with themselves and how they will go to hell.  That's so sick.  I learned with the help from Spider man that every time I who was once Jesus played with myself as if I were a little girl, they too would at the same time.  That's some sick Voodoo stuff, but at least we were playing with each other.  God made it that way.  They perpetrated darkness upon her, but she's still an angel.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  I met with Andrea and I also wrote my blog.  Andrea asked "What could she do?"  I told her she could try the SFPD Mafia Police Department or she could go to the FBI Headquarters at Old World Order Headquarters which is on the 13th floor.  They told me not to come back.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  I then walked home back to Fox Plaza.  I walked to Alamo Square because Davy Crockett was killed at the Alamo and I lived 2 blocks away when I first moved here.  I did it for Susan and Willy Dog!  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  That's where we took Willy one last time before we put him to sleep.  It was so hard for me to see them put the needle in his vein and see him die with Susan's arms around him.  I was a tweaked out mess myself.  That's just how I handled hard times.  It's sick. I've been seeing Willy a lot lately.  He even sniffed out that SFPD was Mafia years ago and he hovers over the Gates of hell for us where he did that for us!

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  Later that day, things would get so dark on me once again, I had to take a walk.  They are ruthless in my head.  Fox Plaza is full of evil and mafia.  I took a walk.  I WAS BEING TORN APART IN BY THE VOICES IN MY HEAD - ESPECIALLY DONALD TRUMP!  I went down Market Street listening to Limp Bizkit:

  
  
  

  It's just one of those days

  
  

  When ya don't wanna wake up

  
  

  Everything is fucked

  
  

  Everybody sucks

  
  

  You don't really know why

  
  

  But you wanna justify

  
  

  Rippin' someones head off

  
  

  No human contact
  
  

  And if you interact

  
  

  Your life is on contract

  
  

  Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker

  
  

  It's just one of those days

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I never talk like that, but when I get mad from all the hardcore never ending abuse I take, it's just how I feel.  I walked down Market Street and as I passed the Warfield, where I'm seem to prefer my mode of battle, I saw an interesting band was playing:

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  I knew what this meant.  The King Diamond was coming on 11/15/15 and their will be an EXODUS.  THIS IS SERIOUS FOR EVERYONE THAT THIS BE SHARED!  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  I continued down Market Street and turned right into this sidewalk alley between 5th and 4th where The Marriott I've always called The Jukebox that Marty (Pope Martin V) and Suzanne (Beezulbub) stayed during the 50th Anniversary of The Grateful Dead.  A few weeks ago I happened to be there and saw this:

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  That is St. Patrick's Church that I went to and gave information to Father Roberts and asked if he could get it to the Vatican.  I haven't heard anything, but God knows.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (11/6/15 - 10:20)  Well, The Jesus Christ Character is back with his bullhorn.  He's so damn angry.  Oh well.  When God places all these angry people together, they will tear each other to shreds.  Sad, but true.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (Back to the other night)  I continued down the walk way that runs between The Marriott and St Patrick's Cathedral and the Contemporary Jewish Museum.  I noticed something about that contemporary Jewish Museum that I always found beautiful.  A BLACK DIAMOND!

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I knew that was the Black Diamond delivery Donald Trump ordered the day before.  I continued on my walk.  I ended up on Minna Street.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

   I continued down on Minna and headed towards the Bay Bridge.  I noticed the lights are coming down on the Bay Bridge.  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  I guess that new one was to come down via earthquake on July 4th, 2016.  However, since King Diamonds  in town, I don't guess it'll need that quake.

  
  

  

  
  

  On my way back up Market, I noticed they changed the marquee at The Warfield.  I guess Limp Bizkit ordered up King Diamonds Godsmack!  I GOT TICKETS TO THIS ONE!

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  And, I guess that Red Rising consumes the earth in approximately 5 billion years.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  This is serious to the earth and it's inhabitants.  People need to share this blog!  I have said that Mars Hotel is vital.  Mother Marilynn Smith Beauty of Planet Earth's father is Bopa Gordon Smith Nasa Father of Mars Hotel.

  
  

  
  

  (11/7/15) I'm not too sure what to make of Godsmack last night.  I had a great time.  Peoples voices in my head while there were saying, "Why won't they let Minna Choi and David be together?"  Sully's voice was asking about Mary Magdalene.  I thought maybe Mary and Minna would show, but I'm not sure Minna belonged. Don't get me wrong, it rocked, but that's just what I understand.  

  
  

  It was a great concert and they even filmed a documentary about it. Sully said, he didn't know what they would be in the future, but they always wanted to play The Warfield when in San Francisco.  I know he knows I was there.  I think he's looking for Mary Magdalene.   I love Minna Choi.  Whatever was going on last night, the encored with "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC.  That could have been a Trump and Company delivery song.   I think they want out.  Only God knows all of that.  Either way, it was a good night.  I even talked to some people.  Living in this wicked garden of isolation at Fox Plaza is just so isolating.  It's brutal and God wants no one to be brutalized. Those who are brutal on others will have brutality returned unto them.

  
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  

  (11/7/15) I'm currently sitting at the Powell and Hyde – Mason Cable Car Turn around with my Sign. This is so ridiculous. Todd Mason is the most wicked sick Mason's child in the world. HE IS SICK! He was once Cain. I was once Able. I cannot access my internet. I guess I'm close to a Bank of America and Mason Street. He is so wicked. I can't even be in Fox Plaza because it is a Wicked Garden. “BURN, BURN, BURN. BURN YOUR WICKED GARDEN TO THE GROUND!” - Stone Temple Pilots.

  
  

  I guess being next to a Bank of America doesn't help. Their is a Bank of America next to Fox Plaza where the Ducati's SFPD “force” resides. The first time I was raped by two tran-sexuals tback in 2005, I was taken up into Fox Plaza. They recorded it on their web-cam and I would later tell me they were with the CIA. I remember seeing people out the window inside of the Bank of America.

  
  

  I didn't know what to say. I was so defeated. It was my fault. I shouldn't have let Pinky (Jane) shoot me up. I had never shot up. I remember looking out towards Minna Street where Susan lived and didn't know how I would go home. I finally did. When I got there, I didn't know what to say. Eventually, I rolled up my sleeve and showed her the bruises where the needles went in. It felt like the point of no return.

  
  

  I knew I may have HIV or Hepatitis C, because they, of course, didn't use protection. I would never have sex with my wife again without a condom. I cared about. I would eventually be manipulated into mind control by the New World Order that would lead me back to Pinky and her Bay Bridge Engineer friend and her Cal Berkeley Professor friend for this sadistic orgy scene. Many times it was with just Pinky. Sometimes, it was with other men and other women. Eventually, I would be sent across the hall to an Asian woman. I didn't know it, but Sodom and Gomarah had begun.

  
  

  Todd Mason is so wicked. I was with Mary Magedelene about a year ago. I'm so confused about her, because I loved her, but we were using. She was of course, Lola Montez. I also gave her the nickname Mary Jane because Jane is a prostitute. I think Mary was suppose to kill me but we had sex for 5 hours. I guess she knew who I was but thought I was somehow Satan. I don't know, this manipulation is so ridiculous. 

  
  

  I've written about her for so long. I just want to get on with hopefully life and Minna. I saw Rod Magedelene today and he said something like “God be with you bro.” Yesterday, I saw him and his friend. I was taking a photo of the ground. His friend said, “Don't take photos!” I said, I'll take photos of whatever I want. God's watching and I pointed up! Rod then through something at me and I deflected it. I still took a photo. Perhaps Godsmack was hoping for an actual black diamond Godsmack last night. Apparently, Sully loves Mary Magedelene. I know I loved her, but this circus needs to end SOON!   This is turning into a circus.

  

  
  

  (Back to a few days ago) I can't believe I just went downstairs to meet those officers and wouldn't you know it, it was a Chinese officer and and Italian Officer.  The Chinese guy said, "Didn't you give it to me out there."  The fact of the matter is, there was a Chinese guy sitting in front of Susan's massage parlor on a scooter while I was praying outside of Susan's massage parlor.  I knew he was Chinese Mafia.  

  
  

  Carl Lindner's voice in my head always said that they knew who I was  when I was young.  In other words, he knew I was Jesus.  At some point I would get my mother out of hell.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  My  Grandpa Chitwood who died on Easter Sunday used to do Native American dances for The Boy Scouts of America.   He dressed in full head gear as the Chief!  I guess one of his nicknames is Chieftein.  I remembered seeing Sun God in the sidewalk on 5th Street a few weeks ago.  It's on the same street as The Chronicle and The Chieftein used to be a Chronicle Bar.  

  
  

  The other day, as you will read below, I would end up in Golden Gate Park.  I would go to the Buffalo and the Buffalo would come to me.  I love animals!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Free Will is a beautiful gift from God that allows us to go to the park and see a buffalo.  (Buffalo Soldier)

  
  

  

  
  

  I thought, "This is really cool!"  Then I went to the Lands End Labyrinth made some offerings and sacrifices and then was forsaken.   It was a blood moon.  I write about it somewhere in this blog.  It may have been a blood moon, but it was day time, so it sunny out at the time.

  
  

  

  
  

  I would be forsaken so hard by Gabriella (Satan) after I left that labyrinth.  I wrote more below, but the other day, I noticed something.  Right outside of Walden House.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  
  

  I realized that The # 38 bus runs right to Gabriella's front door at 48th and Cabrillo.  I wrote below how my mother was in Egypt and the Pyramid of Giza was the tallest structure in the world for 3800 years.  My mother died at Bethesda North Hospital in 1984.  She had a quack  doctor.  Adolph Hitler had a quack doctor.  He attacked Poland 1938.   "We better head back to Tennessee Jed."  Jeff Livengood (Tennessee Jed) was once Albert Einstein.   I guess "Coincidence is God's way of staying Anonymous."  That has been one of my favorite quotes used in my blog over the years from Albert Einstein.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  I also wrote how my mother got out of hell.  As I wrote, I called Apostle Paul while I was in the middle of the crowd sucked to the ground at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass.  Apparently that led Gabriella to me.  It's not like I was going into the ground with all of those people around, but she still showed up.  Yesterday at the corner of 13th and Mission, I photographed.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
   

  

  
  
  
  

  (10/14/15) I just got back from Walden House.  Parker was really understanding and Peter ran a great group about loneliness.  And, let's not forget, Elizabeth Mary Jane is at the corner of 13th and Mission

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  That's what I got out of it.  Daniel was Alano's Drummer.  Daniel has a bearded dragon.  I mentioned Alano's Drummer in Live and Slip Away.   They both disappeared.  I said, that God backed it up to Althea.  I now know that Gabriella backed it up to Althea.  She can never touch Althea.  Basically, GOD backed it up to Althea.  God will always find a way to take evil and make it beautiful for us.  It's not what we want, but it's what they make it.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I TOOK A PHOTO THAT WAS TO GO HERE WITH THAT DRAGON ON HIS ARM THAT WAS TO GO HERE, BUT GABRIELLA'S VOICE IN MY HEAD IS SO PISSED AND I LOST IT.  HER DIGITAL BLASPHEMY WILL NOT STOP!  HOWEVER, THIS IS GOING TO THE SAN FRANCISCO POLICE DEPARTMENT AND IT WILL STOP.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  - Revelations 13:1

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I found it on one of my two computers.  But, she still managed to delete some stuff.  Satan just won't let up.  Never ending hell is being earned.  Screaming banshee demons will arrive.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  - Revelations 13:2

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Daniels bearded dragons name is Juniper.  I was talking to Daniel today about coming to band practice with Revelation.  He asked who was with us and I told him Gabriela just flipped out on us and is will not be with us.  She is so responsible for this digital blasphemy.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  After we talked for a bit about it, I told him how I showed her the Alanos symbol we came up with and how she freaked out on me.  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  She has since removed all of the correspondence on my email.  Daniel didn't understand and thought that was so ridiculous.  I told him how it became the Star of David because I didn't really have time to do anything else.  She wouldn't even give me time to take it down before she reported copy write infringement to NA.  Our band has helping people in mind and she is evil. 

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  He told me things were hard for him during the blood moon and he prayed a lot.   I did too.  That blood moon was so hard on me.  Minna  Choi would help me out of it.  She helped the Rising Star David.

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I told him how Gabriela would immediately  forsake me when I left the Labyrinth at Lands End.  I also told him Gabriela had destroyed it.  Daniel said, "I REBUILT IT!"  A team of his went out and rebuilt it.   That's so awesome!  I then noticed something pretty amazing on his elbow.  Aqua man!  I asked him if I could take a photo and told him how I saw Aqua man on my way to The San Francisco Chronicle a couple of weeks ago - NEW WORLD ORDER MEDIA QUARTERS.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Daniel was so frustrated that Gabriella (Satan) would go out there and destroy that.  Aqua man's voice just told me that Gabriella went out to that Labyrinth before that blood moon because they wanted to get me into the ground.  He saw her do it.  Gabriella told Aqua man I was Satan.  Terry Haycroft tells people I am the devil.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Before I left Walden House, Daniel said, "I was born on December 7th."  I said, "YOU WERE BORN ON DECEMBER 7th?"  He said he was born on December 7 @ 7:49AM on the 7th day of the month, Sunday.  He also told me he was working a music piece titled Seven Prayers of Daniel.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  

  
  

  And it was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations.  And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.  If any man have an ear, let him hear.  He that leadeth into captivity shall go into captivity: he that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  - Revelation 13:7-10

  
  
  

  (10/13/15)  I still can't get a hold of Minna Choi. No one in the City Church Office answers.  It's a big beautiful office and not even a receptionist is there?  My phone keeps getting messed with their digital blasphemy and my phone is making it so hard for me to call her and her voice mail is full.

  I'm going to got see a priest.  The other day, I was at Yerba Beuna Gardens.  As soon as I walked into the park, The SUN GOD beamed off of The Marriott Jukebox.  Marty(Eyes of The World) who was once Pope Martin V stayed there with his family, Ripple, Sierra National Forest and Hunters Point during the 50th Anniversary of The Grateful Dead.  He's has been an executive chef at the Marriott by Cincinnati Northern Kentucky International Airport for so many years.

  
  

  
  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I've written that skyscrapers in today's cities are like modern day cathedrals.  Next to The Marriott where Marty (Eyes of the World, St. Martin V) stayed when his family was in town for The Grateful Dead. 

  
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  I thought, Sun God must represent Minna Choi!  I looked up, "Sun God Minna Choi" and found that her mothers name is Sun Choi!  God is so amazing to angelic people and Godly people!  God is amazing to everyone!    GOD LOVES US!

  
  

  

  When the rain comes, 
  the run and they hide their heads, 
  the might was well be dead.

  
  
  

  The Cheifton was also with the Maineville Sheriffs Department.  He once found headless people on Fosters Bridge over the Loveland Bike Trail and Little Miami River.  It is a beautifully arched bridge, but that was not a scene he ever thought to fondly of.  It's not a great story, but I'll write about later when I write a blog about a song I titled Sonny Days Ahead.  I wrote that so many years ago.

  
  
  

  
  
  

  

  Fosters

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/16/15)  Speaking of bridges, and Minna Choi.  When I first saw Minna Choi, I would try to find her and find Nina Choy.  It turns out she works for Caltrans and went to The University of Cincinnati.  She had something to do with that new Bay Bridge East Span.  They say that in the quake that they were to create, it won't stand.

  
  
  

  

  A night with Gina

  
  

  
  
  

  It's such a beautiful bridge, it's a shame that the bolts in the pylons are "rusty".   When The New World Order causes their Hayward Fault Quake, it won't make it.  The voices tell me she also lives at Rincon Hill.  It's the tallest residential building of in the bay area.  I'm told in the pent house.  I'm told that building won't stand.

  
  
  
  

  

  Nina Choy

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  One night, I went out to photograph the Bay Bridge with Gina.  If you look above the bridge, it is obvious that heavenly beings are looking down on that bridge.

  
  
  
  
  

  

  God oversees David and Goliath

  
  

  If you look above it is obvious that the devil is also upon that bridge.

  
  
  

  

  God oversees David and Goliath

  
  
  

  I recently discovered that my highs school "friend" from 6th grade which was the year my mom died was once Goliath.  In fact, he chose the nickname Terrapin Station in my blog Cumberland Blues and I wrote about his birthday exactly on the day my Uncle Danny died.  Back then his voice in my head would confirm I didn't actually get hit by something by being to close to that freight train, but he threw a rock at that train and it came back it bounced off it and hit me in the head.  If David of the bible was guilty of murder, I guess that was Goliath's paybacks.  Susan (Man Smart (Woman Smarter)) and Kirk (The Giggler) took me to the hospital.  The nurses jokingly said my head looked like a vaginal tear.

  
  
  

  

  David
  
  AND

  

  Goliath

  

  Goliath

  
  

  

  Nina Choy

  

  Nina Choy

  
  

  

  Rachel Donovan

  

  Rachel Donovan

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Susan and I toured that bridge a couple of times when it was being built.  I wrote about it in Top of the World.  

  
  

  I published a blog on 12/24/14 titled Lost in my Mind.  They were planning a Tsunami on 12/25/15.   Lost in my Mind is about construction going in this city.  "How's that bridge getting built?"

  
  
  

  

  The Little Mermaid and Batman and our little minnow was under their too.

  
  

  I get a nickname too!  I once wrote a blog titled Batman - Under The Bridge.   It wasn't about this day.

  
  
  

  
  

  

  Man Smart (Woman Smarter) and Superman

  (11/7/15)  Well, I guess I was Batman on the bridge too.  I just realized that Steve Hemmingher who built that 6.5 billion dollar bride was in fact Charles Bruce Hemminger from Nazi Germany.  He was known as The Beef Jar.  That's pathetic. This needs to be understood!

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  

  The voices tell me Nina Choi lives at Rincon Hill.  It is the tallest San Francisco residential high rise.  I'm told she lives in the pent house.  I'm told it too won't stand in the next earth quake.  She world for Cal Trans.  She went to The University of Cincinnati and I hear Terrapin Station and her knew each other.

  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  Another person Susan knows who works at Cal Trans is Rachael Donovan.  She went to school with Susan.  I went to her house a few times.  She seems to be of significance because she was born on December 7.  

  
  

  I've been hearing Steve Hemminger and President Obama's voice in my head lately and we all need to get to the bottom of this. This multi billion dollar bridge project needs to be re-enforced if possible.  It cost 6.5 billion dollars to build.  I guess, that makes the length of hell to end 6.5 billion years since that's how long it will take the sun to collapse into a white dwarf.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/12/15 - 11:36)  Speaking of Grandpa's, everyone always says I look like my Grandpa Beaty. They called him BUSTER!  People have called me little BUSTER.  BUSTER was a garbage man for the City of Norwood.  He cleaned up peoples garbage. He also raised finches.   I remember he always gave me 50 cent pieces Silver Dollars. Just now, I little bird that looked like a finch flew into my apartment.  I've always talked about and even written how animals come around for me a lot. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  The bird landed on The top of a Pepsi bottle from the 1975 Cincinnati Reds World Series Champions.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  The Reds now play at Great American Ball Park.  The tallest building in Cincinnati is Great American Insurances Queen City Tower.  It is 666 feet tall with a tiara on the roof.  They are both owned by Carl Lidner.

  
  

  
  

  

  
  After it perched on up there for a bit, it came down and perched on my arm. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Another New World Order Headquarters is Cincinnati, Ohio - My hometown.  I'm told that the 666 foot tower with the tiara on the top would not stand either.  Carl Lindner's voice has told me that evil has been messing with him too.  He said, that he knew my mother when I was young and that they thought we might be the David they were waiting for.  Apparently, they told him that same BS about how they could get her out of hell by bringing bridges and buildings down and how God would never except anyone into heaven. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I can't help that I have a crush on Minna Choi.  I didn't even know who Minna Choi was a couple weeks ago when I saw her performing at A Night for City Hope at The Great American Music Hall, but I couldn't stop watching her jam up there.  I kept thinking, "She's a little firecracker!"  The Truth is, back then, I was still in love with Mary (Lola Montez).     It just so happens that I lived on Minna Street on the corner of 7th for 9 years.  I moved there while I was working at The San Francisco Chronicle in 2003 which bridges over Minna at 5th street.  That means I had to cross 6th Street (Shakedown Street) to get there.  Just behind the Chronicle is Mary Street.  I found this a few weeks ago:

  
  

  

   

  
  

  Knowing I was going to be here today, I was praying that Minna Choi would be here, but also prayed for God's Will and God's time.  (Space - Time 12:34 - I just looked over and I saw Minna Choi!  I said, "Are you Minna Choi?  It was so cool to see her!  We had our coffee "date".)  

  
  

  I also thought, it would be cool if St Matthew worked at this one, but he gives the sermon in the one in The Mission.  In fact, I went there a few weeks ago thinking that he just may preach something about Jesus.  He did.  I also captured this during one of the hymns. 

  
  

  

  
  

  It turns out Matt gave the sermon here today too!  He spoke of how Jesus said he never knew God.  I myself have always felt this way.

  
  

  (10/7/15)  Tonight I was walking to Walgreens and was again, singing Jesus of Suburbia.  Right as I reached the lyric, "And Mary Jane, keeping me insane...."   There she was!  You'll read below how much I've been looking for her, but now I'm in love with Minna Choi.  I couldn't go to her.  And, I recently learned she may be Spider Mans.  She's still beautiful.

  
  

  I also figured out who Kerry Angel Superwoman is and Alex Wonder woman is today.  I've written about them before, but I am just now starting to understand.  And, I also saw The Incredible Hulk today.  God brought out all the superheroes and bible characters for this one.  I was wearing my Superman shirt today!

  
  

  

  
  
  

   I just saw him and told him how Paul and I were sitting down after the second service.  He said that he may have a little bit of time to join us.  I told him his nickname was St. Matthew and he said, "And, your King David!"   I was.

  
  

  I also cannot deny that the first person I saw when I walked in the door this morning was El Diablo.  He was on his phone.  He worked in the tech industry before I met him at CityTeam.  We were roommates.  I thought being here at City Church would allow for evil to stay out of my computer, but I keep having issues.  Not as bad as at home, but there are still some issues.

  
  

  Apostle Paul always gives the Greeting at the Russian Center Sutter Street Location.  He started today by giving a quote from Martin Luther King.  "Darkness cannot drive out Darkness:  Only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."  While in 815 Walden House after I jumped off that 5th story parking garage because Armageddon was to occur, I created this artwork:

  
  

  

  
  

  That is the 5 story San Bruno Parking garage I jumped off of.  I was going to a never ending hell, but wanted to give good people a chance to get things right so I sacrificed myself.

  
  

  When Matt gave the sermon, he spoke of Moses and the burning bush.  He also said how Moses would be turned back to God.  I ran into The Greatest Story Ever Told the other day outside of Walden House Outpatient.  He has begun his transformation into a female but was back at Walden House hopefully to get into the outpatient program.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  (10/20/15)  I'm back in the hospital.  This is my 13th trip. Last night was my 12th Trip.  The Book of Revelation speaks of the number 12.   I was 12 when I found my mom dying. She died at Bathesda North Hospital on 1/29/84.    It turns out that I broke my right femur.  

  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  Three days later, I'm running on the elliptical in the morning.  That's Jesus for ya!

  
  

  On 10/18/15, I went to Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco. When I was homeless for 8 1/2 months.  After I got exited from City Team and was taken into people in recoveries homes, I attended Glide Outpatient program.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  On my way to Glide Sunday morning, I would walk past Old World Order Headquarters.  I listened to Green Day's American Idiot all the way to Glide.  I would the walk past Project Open Hand.  Project Open Hand feeds so many hungry and homeless in San Francisco.  My filmmaker friend and I Richard (Roshambo) met there a few months ago and worked on a project for a film about Project Open Hand.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  40 is an important number for our understanding!  I would see the third eye Goddess on Olive Street.  I made sure I played Jesus of Suburbia while I walked down Olive Street.  When I got in front of City Hope, it just happened to be at the part that says:

  
  
  
  

  I don't care if you don't care

  I don't care if don't care

  I don't care if you don't care 

  
  

  I don't care if you don't care

  I don't care if don't care

  I don't care if you don't care 

  
  

  I don't care if you don't care

  I don't care if don't care

  I don't care if you don't care 

  
  

  I DON'T CARE!

  
  

  Then, I turned towards the Lampstand and continued on to Glide listening to that awesome prophesized album.  On my way there, I walked by a hotel that I went looking for Mary (Mary Magedeline, Lola Montez, Mary Jane, Spider woman).  I would end up walking on to Glide for church service.   On my way I would pass the candle stick my dad and family stayed on their visit to San Francisco.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Being in Glide felt so Good.  Their choir is amazing!  I shook many of their hands and introduced myself as David.  Pauls voice in my head just said, "Glide cares about Glide."  I said, "Glide cares about their community."  They certainly cared about Jesus when he was struggling.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Lucifer is so sick.  FLAT OUT EVIL!  I'm not sure about City Church, but that darkness needs to be removed.  God knows their Truth and always will.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  While I was at Glide, it felt so lifting.  I still knew I had to go out to The Labyrinth, but it was a very uplifting experience.  I sat in the front row and would had hands with two black women.  Super boy sat right on the steps right in front of me.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  During the service, they displayed so many scriptures from Psalms on the screen.
  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  Above is the Laguna Honda Serpent.  I didn't even know Andrew who I was in Laguna Honda with would be the Laguna Honda Serpant.  I knew I had to walk the labyrinth, but I didn't think I'd be facing a serpant.

  
  

  

  
  Like I said, I held hands with two black women.
  
  

  

  
  

  They then preached about the healing waters of Bathesda.   My mother died when I was 12 years old.  She died at Bathesda North Hospital.  I always blamed myself in so many ways for her death.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  I was baptized by the waters of Bathesda at Glide Memorial with the congregation.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  

  
  

  They then showed Charlie Brown.  I've always loved Charlie Brown.  I think my friend Todd from 1st grade and through out Loveland, was Charlie Brown.  I worked with his dad at my first job at McDonalds.  

  
  
  

  

  Susan, Willy and I were Peanuts one year.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  Before I left Glide I saw a woman that I saw get busted getting shoplifted in Walgreens.  She looked at little better.  I had seen another woman freaking out walking down the street on the same day.  It seemed as if she was the woman on the right of me holding my had during the service.  The woman on the left I had never seen, but I left a green pic in her bag.

  
  
  

  

   One of my friends from Loveland who came out to the 50th anniversary of the Grateful Dead.  His name is Mike Dunlap.  Since Terrapin Station ended up being evil, it's important to know that Mike Dunlap is Terrapin Station 2.  

  
  
  

  

  
  

  This is the original album cover.  I guess it makes more since the the one at Union Terminal since that beautiful station was built and then rail service fell so quickly.

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  I left by taking the 38 bus up Geary which led me past The Great American Music Hall.  I would take the bus all the way to 25th Avenue.  I got off and walked down 25th.  I saw some things that really made me remember how The Tigers and The Bengals were on the prowl quite a bit for me recently.

  
  
  
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  Seeing this reminded me of how I became a Siberian Loveland Tiger to chase this sick man who wouldn't stop shout "NIGER" at the sky after I tried to explain to black men at Walden House how the promises of lucifer are so wrong.  They are being used and will suffer in hell and they have not been that wrong.  God will always forgive, are and love people above.  lucifer or however the devil gets to you spits nothing but wretched lies.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  I put Welcome to the Jungle on my mp3 player and went on the hunt.  I started stalking him.  It felt good.  I felt like the middle linebacker at Loveland Hurst Highschool!  He started running through frantically through the streets.  I slowly kept behind him hiding behind bushes in pots on the street.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  He zig zaged around until he got toward the front door of Fox Plaza.  Years ago, I used to hang out with these 2 little foxes at Lands End.  After a while, one of them would only hang out and then they both disappeared.  I even went down into the fox hole looking for them, but they were gone.  This was before the New World Order land slide experiments.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  This man went into the Fox Hole.  I've always said, "there should be no such thing as an atheist in a fox hole."  I sped  up and went inside.  He could not get into the security to go up, so he obviously went out the door on Polk Street.  I ran out and he was no where to be seen.  I then realized something I had found a couple of weeks ago while working out one morning that made me so happy!  THE FOXES ARE BACK!

  
  

  
  

  I would chase him out and look both ways and could not see him.  I would then realized the foxes ran him down the fox hole and the snake got him.  I thought, "I guess that's how we do that."

  
  

  The next morning, I went down to work 0ut and saw the Chronicle laying on the ground.  A man was shot a block away in front of the Trinity Tower.  It's where Lucifer was going to live and rape Minna Choi.  (10/24/15)  I'm at the San Francisco Police Department in The Tenderloin right across from the Power Exchange filing a police report.  I am filing it for the times I was raped and times Susan was raped.  Evil has also stolen all the money from my fundraiser that people had for me after I sacrificed myself before the world was to end.   I was going to a never ending hell.  My survival meant that hell was suppose to have been able to end.  As it stands now, hell is going to last 75 billion years.  "Moses went riding up on a quasar!"  

  
  

  As I continued on my way to the labyrinth to close the door to hell, I walked on down the road and I saw Mary:

  
  

  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  Mary was keeping an eye on the red horse for me.  I walked on and ended up at Lands End.  The last time I left the Labyrinth and Gabriealla forsaked me, I went to the bench in front Robin Williams old home and prayed as I had done many times years ago.  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  This time there were people sitting at one of the benches.  Luckily, it wasn't the one Robin Williams donated to his family.  I sat there and grasped my hands together and prayed and remembered something I saw on Russ Alley between Minna and Howard.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  Robin Williams is surely looking over the sic one on Russ Alley which is right off of Minna Street where Susan and I lived for 9 years.  And, the little mermaid is looking up at Minna.  Susan was once the little mermaid.  She also swam  at Normandy.  I guess that makes her Elanor Roosevelt.  And, I was Franklin D. Roosevelt.  I was born on December 7th 1971 - exaclty 30 years after "A day which will live in infany."  I've heard voices in my head speaking of The World Peace Bell.  I've always wanted to visit Pearl Harbor.

  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  infamy - an evil or wicked act.
  
  
  

  

  
  emphamy -the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi (Matthew 2:1–12).
  
  
  
  
  
  

  I continued through Robin Williams neighborhood.

  
  

    Along the way, I found a golf ball.  I once ran all the way

  
  

   to Stanford University.  Someone told me he was the 

  
  

  devil.  I was supposed to run to Texas and then would be

  
  

   taken to Mexico to be hung.  I ran down 3rd Street until 

  
  

  it turned in to El Camino Real (The Real Way) .  I 

  
  

  collapsed in a park outside of Stanford.  I made it 40 

  
  

  miles.

  
  
  
  

  

  
  

  I found this ball and I thought I should deposit this ball in a cup at Lincoln Golf Course.  And, I was once President Abraham Lincoln.  Susan was Mary Todd Lincoln.  I find it appropriate that the President to have freed slavery turns out to be Jesus.  And the first African American President Obama has never given up on me - even before he knew I was Jesus  I have written about him for years.   I am told he was once President Washington.  I think President Obama's head deserves a spot on Mount Rushmore!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I saw these guys playing gulf, so I decided I would give them the ball.  They were so nice.  The guy asked if I wanted to drive it.  I did!  It didn't go far, but it was cool.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I walked on down the path at Lands End listening to Green Days American Idiot since I am THE American Idiot.  I had walked that path so many times.  I finally got to the path that leads down to the Labyrinth.  On my way down, I saw a little girl walking up the path dressed like a little minnow.  I thought, "Minna!"  She was so cute.  I followed a big black man in a Superman Shirt.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I walked through the Labyrinth playing Gun's And Rose's Welcome to the Jungle.  I have been listening to that a lot lately on my tiger hunts out there when someone messes with me.  I'll usually be wearing Bengals gear with my fiery Bengals hat!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  It's a long story, but I basically came to a point the night before where I had to close the door to hell and Gabriella basically became a giant snake.  My cat Spooky was my favorite ,male black cat.  My cat Lexie was my favorite female black cat.  Years ago, Spooky brought in 4 baby rabbits.  One of them died, but my mother, my brother and I nursed them back to health and released 3.  I had 3 people messing with me the day before and I hoped that a 4th wouldn't show up that night.  I was wearing my haunted Loveland Castle Shirt just in case.  She showed.  I used to call Lexie, Sexy Lexie.  I guess I had to become Spooky for this on.  Lexie is Minna and Sexy is Mary (Mary Magedeli.ne, Mary Jane, Spiderwoman, Lola Montez).

  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  (10/21/15)  I just got out of Walden House.  Evil keep sending Army Aunts there to mess with me.  They surround me with three people and use cell phones to mess with my head and they meditate.  I can't go back.  It's pathetic.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  Norm (Fire on the Mountain)  is written all around the Armory.  The Armory is where Lucifer can be found.  Norm is a Wharfat who is my grandsponser. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  The King Pin deals out of Fox Plaza.  I saw him yesterday. The Greatest Story Ever told (Moses) has told me that he that he lives in Fox Plaza and sells more meth than anyone.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/18/15) Glide performed their entire service because I was there.  It was that for David.  God blueprinted it that way.  So often while there, members of their church would place their hands over their heart in the shape of a heart.  I had told City Church which included both Matt, Paul and Fred in my head that they needed to announce to their congregation that Terry Haycroft was Lucifer.    It was so nice to see their hands over their hearts.  It made me think of my big heart with her big heart!

  
  
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  I just had my ex-ray on my knee.  Earlier I had a cat scan it it sounded in my head like my message was being received. My x-ray technician's name is May.  She is a cute little Filipino. She had a beautiful flower tattoo on her arm.  It represented her grandmother who was a nurse.  We both agreed Filipino's are very caring.  I've written before that my dealers were Filipino and my nurses were Filipino.  God loves Filipinos!   May is a Sagittarius.  She was born on 12/15.  It's the year 2015.  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  May's grandmother who was a nurse was born 12/2.  May ask if I was Catholic.   I said, "God has no religion."   May and I discussed reincarnation.   She said that's what Filipinos believe in.  That's why I know they make sense to keep showing!  I always respected the kamikaze,  but I never understood that they faithfully understood reincarnation.  We still need to be peaceful, but if they died for the honor of their country and their God, I get it.  May Chitwood is my Grandma Chitwood.  She is, of course, The Cheifton's wife.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I told May how the new female Jesus, Althea was born on December 17th.  She told me her neice, Nalina was born December 17th.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  When they called me this morning, they said I had a fracture on my leg and that I needed to come back to General Hospital.  They were talking about my needing surgery or something earlier, but I'm pretty sure that that's not going to happen.

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
  
  

  (11:00 - 10/20/15)  Matt just came up and asked me if I wanted a Hep C vaccinations.  Minna Choi's voice in my head just said I have no idea why they won't give up.  I'm Hep C and HIV Clean.  He said it was for IV drug users.  How did he know that's what I have been?  Earlier, this nurse kept asking me if I needed any medication.  I kept refusing.  She even said, "Well if you get board." 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (2:00 - 10/20/15)  People keep coming up to me and doing something on the phone.  I mentioned that woman who asked "Well if your board".  Well, she was just joined this guy who said something about "8000" and needing a room here.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Nurses keep coming around soon after when these people come to this phone and check my pulse.  I keep feeling tired like I'll pass out, but I've been up for a few weeks.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  These people are ruthless.  Susan keeps trying to call me and can't get through.  These evil bots won't let up.  There are police officers right in front of me guarding me from this guy in the room.  Grandpa Chitwood (Sonny, The Chiefton) was  police officer.  

  
  

  
  

  I recorded them on my phone, but I'm not sure I'm able to access it.  They seem to be able to make them disappear.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Before I move on, I'd like to thank Susanna (Cerise) for helping me understand Space-time.  She probably understands it better than me!  And now.... 

  
  
  

  
  
  "The best way to defeat an enemy is to make him a friend."

  
  - Abraham Lincoln

  
  Numbers, Kings, Chronicles, Psalms,  Revelations?  The Holy Bible Part II?  Am I David? Well, my friends call me Dave.  Am I the Jesus of Suburbia?  I certainly fit The American Idiots profile.  (See Sleepless in Santa Cruz) It goes back 2000 years?  3,000 years?  4,500 years?  10,000 years?  Forever?

  
  "Mommy told me something, a little kid should know.  It's all about the devil."  I must move forward.  We must move forward.   Mars Hotel is vital.  For now, we have to remember some things from Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog and The Classic Version of Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog.  God is The Truth and The Truth is God.

  
  
  

  "God has no religion"

  
  

  - Mahatma Gandhi

  
  

  This photo appears in Charlie and the hot Chocolate Kids.

  
  Below that photo it read:  
  
  
  

  This is exactly what "the voices" and now, people in the flesh seemed to be doing to me.  Especially people in the flesh.  Especially, evil people.  It seemed I was in constant battle with them.  2010 - my chance at a good life was passed.  I was evil.  I had lost.  Or had I?  I had a little hope when I saw that mural.

  
  

  
  

  Since I mentioned Charlie and the hot Chocolate Kids, it's important that I remember a very important young lady from that Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog.  She has recently been very supportive of me on Facebook and was very excited for me about my getting to go to both shows of The 50th Anniversary of The Grateful Dead in Santa Clara.  She recently went to see Alabama Shakes.  I was excited for her.  Music is in my soul.  I once had an "Alabama get away!"  (See Alabama Get Away in part II.)

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I once wrote a blog with a song by Alabama Shakes called Hold On.   I wrote it while at Christian Chaos (CityTeam).  I will respectfully nickname Leah, Princess Leah.  I always knew great songs and block buster movies had a Godly message.  Sometimes Truth is stranger than fiction.  Even, Science Fiction.  "Use the force Luke".  

  
  

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, Star Wars 7 is coming out in December of 2015.  I am a Sagittarius.  So is Althea.  I like that number 7.   My real mother was born on February 7, 1945.  I was born on December 7, 1971.  Althea was born on December 17, 2012.  Star Wars 7 comes out December 18, 2015.  One day after Althea's birthday.... 

  
  
  
  

  "I told Althea I was feeling lost...."

  
  

  Althea certainly awoke The Force for me.  And, in me.    That blog was published, 1/1/15.  After that, I had a couple of blogs slip away.  One meant a lot to me.  They simply disappeared from Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog. I didn't understand at first.  However, I now understand God backed it up to Althea.  (See Cumberland Blues).  The next Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog I must write will be titled Estimated Prophet - Throwing Stones - Understanding Althea.  The Grateful Dead played all 3 of those songs on The 50th Anniversary of the Grateful Dead - Fare Thee Well on 7/5/15.  

  
  

  Leading up to the last 5 shows and since God backed my blog up to Althea, I thought they might, coincidentally enough play Althea at one of last two shows we attended in Santa Clara, California.  Althea is Susan (Man Smart (Woman Smarter) and her husband, Greg's (Train Song), daughter.  And, I had been having Jerry Garcia and other members of The Grateful Dead's voices in my head recently.  Eventually, we considered each other family.  That's pretty much how they always treated their fans.  

  
  

  So much has been revealed to me in the past couple of months since I started writing Cumberland Blues on April 17th, 2015.  My Uncle Danny's voice was saying, "Write the short Version."  At some point since then, I wrote "The short version is impossible."  Was I ever right about that!  I think at the time I wrote that, I meant that I have been writing for nine years.  I had no idea that God would pile up so many things for me to understand and write about.  In fact, I was originally going simply write a blog titled Understanding Althea.  Now I'm writing Liberty (Revelations).   Then, I'm writing Estimated Prophet - Throwing Stones - Understanding Althea.  It turns out playing Althea on the 5th night perfectly aligned the stars in The Universe!  The 5th show on July 5th 2015!  God is amazing!

  
  

  Before I move on, and I probably will repeat myself in this blog since these understandings keep piling up and even repeat themselves, I'll say that The Grateful Dead's last 5 shows fit perfectly with my blog.   All 5 shows.  Liberty consists of the 2 shows we attended and the one in Chicago, Illinois on the 4th of July.  God is amazing!  Hey, I said I may repeat my self.  Especially that statement!  God is amazing!

  
  

  Charlie and the Hot Chocolate Kids helped me get into CityTeam. It was their coincidental run in with me at Golden Gate Park and giving me a lunch and then having lunch with me that set my getting into CityTeam in motion.  (8-26-13  Space - Time.)  Leah is my Facebook friend.  At 10:20 tonight, she updated her status.  It read, "Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world."  I wrote about Eyes of the World in Deal and I Need a Miracle.  And, they played that one at The 50th Anniversary of The Grateful Dead when we were there.  I might just have to write about it below!

  
  

  Toward the end of the blog, Charlie and the Hot Chocolate Kids, I wrote about seeing Leah one last time:

  
  

  
  

  About a half hour later, I ran into Charlie and a couple of kids  again.  It gave us a chance to talk a little more.  I also got some hot chocolate!  They told me they loved me.  Somehow, I believed them.  Again, we parted ways.

  
  

  As I was walking away, Leah chased me down and said, "Hey Dave, do you remember how you said you weren't sure if you were good or evil?"  I said, "Yeah."  She said, with the biggest smile on her face, "You're good, I can tell!"  It melted my heart.  I hoped she was right.  I hoped it was going to be my last night on the street.  Charlie and The Hot Chocolate Kids headed back to Oregon Monday morning.

  
  

  

  Front row from left:  Leah, Charlie, Homeless Dave, Colton, Hot Chocolate Kid.  Back row from left:  Hot Chocolate Kid, Hot Chocolate Kid, Charlie's wife, Hot Chocolate Kid.  

  
  

  Then, the coincidental timing of my publishing Charlie and the Hot Chocolate Kids on the same day I began writing the blog Touch of Grey which was on the same day I found out Man Smart (Woman Smarter) was pregnant with Althea is....  

  
  
  
  

  

  Amazing!

  
  

   I didn't write word for word that Man Smart (Woman Smarter) was pregnant, but The Truth can easily be understood by reading what was written in Touch of Grey.  What is even more amazing about all of this is how I once nicknamed a guy at Christian Chaos Rudy, because of the lyrics to one of my favorite Grateful Dead songs, Throwing Stones.  The lyrics that earned him the nickname are....  "Rudy's lookin for a fight."  He was.  It was before I understood so much about dates, years, what was written and how "Peace will prevail 0n this earth."

  
  

  I had no idea that David from the Bible was 15 when he defeated Goliath.  The year is 2015.  David defeated Goliath by throwing a stone at him 3000 years ago.  And, when I first started to go back and read my own blog and understand this for myself, I simply thought it meant that I would no longer be voices in other peoples heads.  I thought that's what it meant because I was just starting to understand that the voices were in fact people.  I think.  If I'm in your head, you know.  Either way, I did not want to confuse Susan's daughter Althea.  And, my next blog will be Estimated Prophet - Throwing Stones - Understanding Althea.  

  
  

  I wrote the blogs I linked above before I attempted suicide.  When I was 5, I used to read Revelations in the bible.  I did so while in church with my mother who I found dying when I was 12.  She had issues with addiction.  I have written in the past that two of my clearest memories were finding my mother dying when I was 12 and her pouring communion at The Morrow Church of Christ we lived next door to when I was 5.  

  
  

  There were some dark times. I always remembered about living next door to that church.  It involved rocks coming through our windows, guns, black vans, shadow people and a UFO.  Oh yeah and our German Sheppard, Duchess was poisoned.  Thankfully, she lived.   I love Duchess.  And, I think since my name is David, I think it's important to point out Duchess's dad's name was King.

  
  

  A Psychiatrist (Quack Doctor - I'll explain later) had a lot to do with my mom's death.  She was from the "valley of the dolls."  My dad didn't like my mom drinking or being on pills.  He grew up in a dry county in Burnside, Kentucky.  It may have been a dry county, but there was plenty of moonshine.   Alcoholism ran in the family.   Still, my dad did not drink.  That Psychiatrist told my dad to lighten up and go out and have a drink with my mother.  He became and alcoholic.  His alcoholism really got bad after my mother died. His alcoholism would later lead to his death.  

  
  

  (9/30/15 - Space - Time)  I just left my Psychiatrist.  SOMA Psychiatric is in the middle of remodeling their office, so she was residing in TAP.  When I was homeless, I used to have to go to TAP in order to get into Walden House detox.  I did this four times.  Below is an excerpt Charlie and the Hot Chocolate Kids :

  
  

  
  

  TAP is four blocks away.  I began to walk.  This was it.  No turning back.  No more burning bridges.  No more using.  I started to feel nervous.  I began walking faster.  I prayed, "Please help me God!", At that moment, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something in a window.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  While I was there, I talked really fast about blood moon stuff.  I also talked about my trip to Lands End and my walk through the Labyrinth.  While in the center I left a sacrifice and an offering.  I write more below, but I just posted the following on Facebook:

  
  

  
  

  I know how to read people.  I've just learned that I will stop taking all of my medications.  I've always said that many blockbuster movies and  songs have a Godly messages.  My soul guides me to Harrison Fords, The Fugitive.  Coincidentally enough, Star Wars 7 - The Force Awakens comes out in December 2015.  Grateful Dead songs tell an almost biblical tale.  My Higher Power I call God is The Universe.  "Might and glory gonna be my name and men gonna light my way."

  
  

  
  

  I don't blame, that psychiatrist or my mom's psychiatrist, but I sure don't believe in quack doctors.  Adolph Hitler had a quack doctor.  I'll write more detail below.  And, I'll write about it in a future blog I'll title Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sun Shine In and I'll write about it in Angel - Song Remains the Same.  I have written about this subject in the past.  God really let me understand something that helped me stop blaming myself for my parents deaths.  And, God communicated that God missed the old David.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  This is near the corner of Mission and 15th Street.  My recovery program, Walden House which I nicknamed Wally World, is on Mission Street between 13th and Erie Streets.

  I remember very little about what I read in Revelations when I was 5, however, I do remember reading Revelations 13.  It speaks of 7 heads and 10 horns.    

  An I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy."

  
  

  - Revelations 13:1

  
  

  I was born on 12/7/71.  My mother was born on 2/7/45.  I started writing this blog on 7/7/15.  This is when God allowed me to understand something that has always meant so much to me.  I blamed myself for my mothers death.  She was already having a hard time, because her dad was dying of cancer.  She died on January 29, 1984.  He died 3 months later on Easter Sunday, 1984.  After her death I used to communicate with her and my Grandpa Chitwood vertically.  I would talk to them before I went to sleep.  I would pray to them and to God.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  My entire life, I thought of the years 2001, and 2010.  Especially, 2010.  I always  knew "something" was going to happen.  I didn't know what.  I used to wander, "How old will I be?  Where will I live?"   It seems Hollywood helped prophesize some of these years for me.  I watched 2001 and 2010, but I still just "felt" something inside.  On, September 11, 2001, The World Trade Centers were destroyed by  a terrorist attack.  I took this very personal.  After moving to California in 2002,  I began wondering what would happen in

  
  

  2010.  Would there be a big earthquake?  Would I die?

  
  

  2010 was the year I stopped breathing and Man Smart (Woman Smarter) saved my life.  I thought that meant it would be the year I would almost die and I would get clean.  However, I would relapse and it was the year I would begin losing everything, including my soul.  I thought that I had perhaps crossed over to the dark side and may be bound for hell.  I still believed in God for God.  5 years later, I began understanding the numbers 5 and 15.  The devils voice in my head would give me understandings that I would later read about in Revelations.   Not many human voices would tell me something I personally wouldn't remember.  

  
  

  It confused me when I was hearing a "persons" voice and I could not remember something they would, of course, know for themselves, such as their birthday. "They" would not disclose such information.  I thought, "If it is truly their voice, why won't they disclose this?"  This did start to change very recently.  Some people disclosed information that I wasn't aware of or remembering.  Below in Eyes of the World, you will read that Larry Flynt was one of these voices.  

  
  

  (9/30/15 - Space - Time) Speaking of books and that blood moon,  I've had a hard time getting out of it.  Alano's Sax voice has been in my head and has been down right brutal for the last 4 days.  In fact, she came down on me right as I left that Labyrinth on Sunday because as I exited I thought, "Oh, shoot, I should had left something for Alano's Sax."  She came down so hard on me.  She had already been on my case about The Alano's logo.  It was so hard for me.  Many other voices have been so hard on me while I'm in my private apartment at Fox Plaza that I was blessed with that I decided to come to a place that always meant something to me - The San Francisco's Public Library.

  
  

  I can not hear my mothers voice.  It has been so long since I have.   She died in 1984.  That's the year George Orwell wrote about "Big Brother."    I'll probably write a lot more about that in the future.  God is the all knowing eye in the sky.  My favorite band in 1984 was Van Halen. Coincidentally enough, Jump reached #1 on The US Billboard Hit 100.  "Might was well Jump!  Go ahead and Jump!"  Well, on 1/15/13, I did just that.  I jumped from the 5th floor of a BART train station parking garage in San Bruno, California.  San Bruno Station is the train stop before San Francisco International Airport.

  
  
  

  

  San Bruno BART Station parking garage

  
  

  Another song to reach #1 on The U.S. Billboard Hit 100 in was Cyndi Laupers, Time after Time.  I wrote and published a blog in The Classic Version of Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog titled Contrails on November 3, 2006.  I republished it on BlogSpot.com on August 20, 2012 - Gina's birthday!  It's the only blog I ever republished.  It meant that much to me.  In Contrails, I wrote how that song came on my headphones as our plane had just taken off out of San Francisco International Airport:

  
  

  
  

  We were on a plane Tuesday morning.  It was a very emotional plane ride.  It was hard to keep my composure for five hours knowing I was flying home for my dad’s funeral.  I mostly just laid my head against the side of the plane and gazed out the window.

  
  

  Shortly after we took off, I put my headphones on and began listening to Delta Radio.  Within about 15 minutes, we were flying over Yosemite.  It was beautiful.  It occurred to me that it was my stepmother’s response to my Yosemite photos that I realized something was in fact wrong with my dad.

  
  

  As I gazed out at the granite peaks of Yosemite, Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper came on Delta Radio.  When the song reached the chorus, tears began to fill my eyes:

  
  

  
  

  If you're lost you can look and you will find me

  
  

  Time after time

  
  

  If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting

  
  

  Time after time

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I did not know how to interpret this song at the time.  I thought maybe the song represented what my wife was to me.  After all, she had been there for me Time after Time.  I also thought the song possibly represented what I should have been to my dad - but felt I was not.  Whatever it meant, it was a very emotional moment for me.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "If you fall I will catch, you I will be waiting."  I jumped in fell 5 stories in 1/15/13.  Reading this a couple of months ago, I knew it was God.  It brought tears to my eyes when I read this and realized what God already understood in June of 2006.  God loves me.  God loves us.  God is amazing.

  
  

  I didn't start hearing voices in my head until 2007.  I am diagnosed schizoaffective.  I thought it was just voices in my head.  Evils voices told me of things that came true.  It was a nightmare for me.  Hell on earth, if you will.  I prayed for God's Will as we should.  Sometimes, I was so lost though.  I thought I was going to hell.  I attempted suicide more than once.   Twice last year I tried shooting air up my veins with a syringe to stop my heart.  My heart means so much to me.  That evil drug confused it.  Again, I was trying to let others be with themselves.  

  
  

  One night, I was even considering jumping off my balcony.  However, my dad's voice kept asking me not too.  I was looking all around this beautiful city wandering how something so beautiful could be so misunderstood.  I looked down 26 floors.  I was feeling so defeated in life.  Would it just end when I hit, or would I go to a never ending hell?  Then, I looked up and saw a bright shining star.  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  Today is 9/1/15.  So much of what I wrote below foretold white I am just now understanding.  God is amazing. I had no idea at the time I took this photo that I was living the Book of Revelations.  I also had no idea that when I took that photo.  I just remember seeing a folder in my computer labeled "North Star".  I have been bouncing all around my computer files with new and different understandings since the end of April.

  
  

  A file I named "North Star" just caught my eye the other day.  I just knew it was a bright star when I took the above photo and I've heard the north star was bright.  I didn't remember what night I actually took the photo.  I thought it wasn't that long ago, but I just now at 9:30 PM on 9/1/15 went back and found that the photo was taken on 1/30/15.  I took it in the AM hours.  I just now understood that I took it early in the morning one day following the date after I found my mother dying.  She died on 1/29/84.  And, it's been a while, but I'm pretty sure that's the star I looked up at the night my dad was with me telling me not to jump.  I probably wouldn't have, but I was deep into the thought of it, until I looked up. 

  
  

  And he shall rule them with a rod of iron; as the vessels of a potter shall they be broken to shivers: even as I received of my Father.  And I will give him the morning star.  

  
  

  - Revelations 2:27-28

  
  

  It's important to look up to God during hard times.  On, April 6, 2012 I wrote a blog called Look to the Sky.  It was Good Friday.

  
  

  About three weeks ago, I shot some meth and I kind of became Gina and ended up being with myself.  I was pretty confused about what I was doing, but it wasn't really that bad.  I know it sounds strange, because it was.  I'll write more below in He's Gone about this journey through Revelations.  I heard "The Old David's" voice in my head.    We laughed together and he was using words like "Sire".   David's voice would ask me "Have you sired?" I just now couldn't even remember what that word meant so here's the definition for us:

  
  

  sire

  ˈsī(ə)r/

  verb

  past tense: sired; past participle: sired

  1. be the male parent of (an animal).

     • literary

       (of a person) be the father of.

  
  

  David from 3000 years ago connected something else for me.  I knew that my mother was born in 1945.  The Pyramid of Giza was built 4500 years ago.  David told me that he traveled to the Pyramid of Giza looking for his mother. 

  
  
  
  In 2012, I lived in the shadow of my second favorite building in the world, The Trans American Pyramid.  It's is the tallest building in San Francisco.  I lived just above The Garden of Eden.
  
  

  In the shadow of the Trans American Pyramid.

  
  

  Just above The Garden of Eden.

  David and I both "clowned" around!  I'll explain below, but I will at least say that it made me think of a Jane's Addiction song titled Classic Girl.  Thinking of the song Classic Girl I remembered that in the Jane's Addiction movie called Gift that Perry Farrell's girlfriend's name is Casey.  My friend Gina's last name is Casey.  My friends and I watched that movie all the time.  It was Perry's voice in my head the morning after I became Gina, the Classic Girl that Perry suggested that I meditate and then read Revelations.  It was 8/7/15.  As soon as I started reading it, I was amazed.  This was my life!  I had recently understood that I was reincarnated from David already, but Jesus?  I'm the second coming?  Wow!  

  
  

  Then I realized just how hard my addiction had been on me and realized my life was the book of Revelations.  And, I always wanted to help people.  However, when I was using I would have sexual encounters while I was married.  I recently learned that David from The Bible was an adulterer.   I would be very drunk or high on something and would end up having sex with someone.

  
  

  with whom the kings of the earth committed acts of immorality, and those who dwell on the earth were made drunk with the wine of her immorality.

  
  

  - Revelations 17:2

  
  

  And, now I would understand 8/7/15 that 8+7=15.  It seemed that was to be my clean date.  After all, I did remember God "somehow" letting me know he missed "the old David" on 7/7/15.  That was the time I was confused and bought pink gloves at Walgreens.

  
  

  I love music.  So does God!  I've recently been saying God's a Rock star!  Literally.  When I woke up in the hospital, I was very confused, but I wrote and published a blog on February 12, 2013 using one of my favorite bands, Jane's Addiction's songs, Ocean Size.   The blog begins like this:

  
  

  
  

  I assume many of you are aware of my hardcore mistake in addition to problems I had been having.  I'm not sure where or how to begin with it all.  I'm just not.  I remember fearing homelessness and using.  I got really confused and kept using.  To make a long story short, on January 15th I found myself at the top (5th floor) of a BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) Police station and garage for the train station.  I was confused about my "mission" I was on.  I may try to explain it all later, but for now, I am aware I jumped or fell or attempted to climb off the structure."

  
  

  
  

  Lyrics from Ocean Size are, "Some people tell me home is in the sky.  In the sky lives a spy"

  
  I obviously had no idea when I wrote the blog in February of 2013 that I would be housed in Fox Plaza.  I went to Fox Plaza the first time I shot meth.  I'll write more in my future blog, Jane Say's.
  
  That blog also included a blog using a song from The Foo Fighters.  It was a blog I had written before I attempted suicide but never posted because I relapsed.   In 2012, I was running a lot and listening to a lot of Foo Fighter's music.   Sometimes, I like to sweat my tears.   I was running one night and God gave me some messages to keep writing.  Then, a song came on my mp3 player that always made me think of God - My Hero.  Below is an excerpt from that part:

  
  

  
  

  "Like I said, running gets me so high.  I really feel so good.  I feel like a super hero.  I love trying to be one.  Most super hero's are ordinary people.  Ordinary is awesome.  I just want to be there for people anyway I can.  So many have been there for me.  I thought it was so cute when Gina sent me a text saying, "You're a super hero!", the day I had six months clean.  It really is little things like that I hold on to that help keep me stay clean.  So many have done so much for me - I can't use!  (Sarcastically) Thanks A lot!  Seriously though.  Thanks.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I love running to the Bay Bridge.  Once there, I do 70 push ups and 100 situps.  It is so beautiful at night!  The lights of the Bay Bridge....

  
  

  

  
  

  Right after I finished my push ups and sit ups the other night, I felt really good.  I usually do afterward.  I'm past half way!  And, the push ups and sit ups are the hard part.  I was feeling really good and I thought about Gina saying that and how good I felt.  I then started thinking of all the people who have tuned into my ridiculous existence over the past few months.  I thought of a few people in particular.  It made me smile.  I still thought it didn't make a lot of sense as I ran however -  I then past this large back-lit sign billboard on the sidewalk:  (It also had a beautiful woman in the ad I wish I could have photographed - I planned to.  Essentially, my world found a way to communicate when I needed it most.   I passed on this important message. )

  
  

  YOU HAVE 

  A STORY 

  TO TELL

   

  (I wanted to photograph it, but obviously never got around to it.  Perhaps my time would have been better well spent doing so.) 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I thought, how appropriately timed to my thoughts.  I smiled and thanked God.  It is true, that when I am making good decisions, The Universe seems to communicate with me more.  It was then that I saw this "Message" which was from the same set of ads as the first one I saw:

  
  
  

  YOU HAVE 

  SONGS 

  TO SHARE

  
  
  

  This really made me smile as I continued to run.  It even makes me smile now.  If all that weren't enough, moments later this song, My Hero, started playing in my headphones.  Sometimes life can feel so amazingly beautiful!  Thank you God.  I mean that.  And, YOU are my hero!  And, oh yeah, I guess "I have a song to share...." 

  
  

  I then, of course, linked The Foo Fighters performing My Hero on YouTube.  Within that blog Ocean Size from the blog My Hero is another reference to Revelations.  Below is another excerpt:

  
  
  

  "Speaking of pants falling down.....  Susan always loved this story.  Maybe it's because she knows the place I'm talking about where this happened.  Even she had a sense of humor about the insanity of my addiction - when I was clean of course.  

  
  
  

  One day, when I was really skinny, about 125lbs, I was running to catch a train.....  I had spent the night out at Ocean Beach.  I remember it was Saturday because the coffee shop where the N - Judah Muni Train was packed full of people.  I was a tweaked out mess and my pants were way too big.  As I ran out into the middle of the train turnaround in the middle of the intersection, my pants fell down around my ankles.  I of course didn't have underwear on.  I'm sure it was quite a show for the early morning coffee drinkers.  

  
  
  

  I mean this is San Francisco where such sights are commonplace, but it is kind of the burbs out there!  As far as my not having underwear on, I had either lost them or didn't' wear them because I started realizing that every time I wore underwear and shot crystal meth - I lost them.  Have I ever said what a messed up ridiculous mess I became on that drug?  Oh, the glory days."

   
  

  (10/16/15) Speaking of the N-Judah.  Today I remembered another trip to Ocean Beach at the end of the N-Judah line.  I ran into two cute young ladies and a young Hispanic man.  One was really cute.  However, I was so lost.  It was Easter Sunday.  I was coming down but I was still pretty out of it.  The dark haired girl wanted me to go a store on Judah and steel some liquor with her.  I didn't want to.  I don't think the cute little blond and this Hispanic kid wanted to.   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Eventually, the dark haired girl would leave and I would never see her come back.  The cute little blond was talking to me and the hispanic young man looked at us and told us to kiss.  I couldn't do that to her.  For one, I was married and she was too young and too cute.  I do remember her eyes.  I just today recalled her name was Mary.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  We would part ways and I would spend the night on Ocean Beach that night.  It was Easter Sunday.  Someone had erected three crosses.  I'll never forget out of the corner of my eye seeing Jesus (David) hanging on the one in the middle. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jesus.  As I slowly turned my head up and to the left, Jesus would slowly lift his head up and to the right.  I'd look away and he'd look away.  I thought, "Why does Jesus keep looking at me?"

  
  

  
  

  
  

  And one of the elders said to me, "Stop weeping; behold, the Lion that is from the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has overcome so as to open the book and its seven seals."

  
  

  -Revelations 5:5

  
  
  

  As I wrote, my Grandpa Chitwood (The Chiefton) died on Easter Sunday.  I recently discovered that Minna Choi's mother is the Sun God and and Mary's was the Moon God.

  
  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  I saw no temple in it for the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.  And the city has no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it for the glory of God has illumined it, and its lamp is the lamb
  
  - Revelation 21:23
  
  
  

  The N-Judah runs from The Embarcadero where I used to sell my photography as a street artist to the other side of the peninsula where it turns around at Ocean Beach.  The Train turns around just before it reaches The Great Highway - Highway 1.  Susan and I drove down Highway 1 during our honeymoon.  It's beautiful.  Like Yosemite, I always referred to Big Sur as "God's Country".

  
  

  Another Muni Train line that runs out to The Great Highway - Highway 1 is the L-Taraval.  That Muni Train Line begins it's turn around at Vicente Street.

  
  

  Vicente is a Spanish and Portuguese name. Like its French variant, Vincent, it is derived from the Latin name Vincentius meaning "conquering" (from Latin vincere, "to conquer").

  
  

  And the beast was allowed to wage war against God's holy people and to conquer them. And he was given authority to rule over every tribe and people and language and nation.

  
  

  -Revelations 13:7

  
  
  

  I spent a lot of time at that end of Ocean Beach as well.  Yesterday (9/2/15 Space - Time) it was free to go to the San Francisco Zoo.  Fox Plaza post daily free events in their elevators every week.  I love Fox Plaza.  I love animals.  Dogs and foxes are cute, but I'm a cat person.  I love cats and they seem to love me.  Growing up, I was a Loveland Tiger.  I also had so many cats over the years.  

  
  

  Yesterday at the zoo, the most popular exhibit was of the Tigers.  Two tigers were sitting very close to three glass windows so that people can view them.  A small line had gathered to photograph these beautiful animals.  They were both laying down, apparently sleeping.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  I took these photos from the side of the viewing area.

  
  

  
  

  They were able to be seen very good from two of the glass windows.  I was patiently waiting in line and they both woke up.  They started to move around away from the two windows.  People who were almost up to the glass were bummed.  I simply walked up to the third window they had not been visible in.  After a few moments, they both walked up to me.  

  
  

  

  I love cats!  They seem to love me.

  
  

  And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof.

  
  

  - Revelations 5:5 KJV

  
  

  

  My brother Michael I nicknamed Loveland, added a photo on 9/3/15 (Space - Time). 

  

  The Great Pyramid in Giza.

  
  

  (10/16/15) Yesterday early in the morning, Gabriela (Satan) would not stop being so hard on me my head.  I wrote how I rounded up Tiger Moore (928) and Tiger Morris (Morris). She was relentless.  Finally, I put my head phones on and played Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses.  Our Loveland Tiger hunt began at Lands End.  After all, that's where Gabriela  (Satan) destroyed the Labyrinth.  Suddenly, We were Loveland Tiger Football players finding her all over Lands End.  Being the middle linebacker, my assignment is always the ball.  I was pounding her down every time I found her.  I had Tiger Moore and Tiger Morris coming in from side to side at every turn with pounding tackles.  It was brutal until the song ended.  We love football!

  
  
  

  
  

  Welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games

  We got everything you want honey we know the names

  We are the people that can find whatever you may need

  If you got the money honey we got your disease

  
  
  

  The devil and other voices told me of hellish things that would take a 1000 years for me to get through.  "Getting the shit beat out of me" they said.  "Wait till I get to you!"  I would hear some voices say.  I didn't remember that 1000 year part of Revelations.  However, since my Uncle died and I wrote Cumberland Blues on April 17, 2015, I have been reading my own blog and some of the bible, including Revelations.  It has connected some amazing understandings. 

  
  

  No matter what the devil said to me, I know that when he came to me for the first time back in 2007 trying to get me to sell my soul.  I refused!   I chose GOD!  GOD wins, of course.   It's what my personal and very difficult heart felt experiences in life and my soul understood. I wrote about the devil coming to me years ago, in the Classic Version of Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog, but I also summed it up in The Pretender - Car Crash that I wrote April 7, 2012.  Below is an excerpt:

  
  
  

  My new friend from L.A.'s girlfriend died this morning at 8:10.  He let us all know in an unscheduled house meeting.  We also lost a third graduate this morning.  He died of cancer.  He was here very recently.  Most of the guys knew him.  He was clean but it was likely his lifestyle led to his cancer.  He smoked.  The House Chaplin, Trudy, said he was right with God.  His family is coming to pick up his things today.

  
  

  Later in that blog I wrote:

  
  

  I have felt at times that there is an evil that just won't give up on me.  It's really been going on for years - especially the last few while struggling with meth.   I have written about this some.  Evil is very prevalent when I use meth.

  
  

  When I am clean, I try to avoid talking much about it.  It's dark.   It's in my head and it's in my reality.  Years ago, the devil tried to get me to bow down to him.  He wanted me to sell my soul.  This was occurring as voices in my head and images I could see on my monitor because of the webcam I had pointing out the window into our back breezeway.  He was surrounded by beautiful scantily clad women - of course.

  
  

  He told me, "Come on down" and bow down to him (We live on the third floor.)  He said, if I surrendered to him I would serve high in hell.  (what an oxymoron, huh?)  He said if I did, I could do whatever I wanted on earth and no one would know my secrets.  (That's kind of what put me there.)  I said, "Never."  "I'll choose God."  He laughed, the way you'd expect the devil to laugh and said, "God will not choose you!"  He said I was going to end up in hell anyway, so, I might as well enjoy myself on earth and serve high in hell.  All lies.

  
  

  I ended up flipping out.  There were people on the roof!  Susan and I were heading to L.A. in a couple days.  We left early.  She pulled my 35th Anniversary Mustang up t0 the front door because they were on the roof.  They were only after me.  We agreed that Susan was not to be messed with.

  
  

  Susan told me I was crazy, but still pulled the car up to the door.  Right as I got in, BAM! - something hit the roof of the car!  Susan said, "What the ____ was that?!"  I said, "I told you they are on the roof!"

  
  

  On the way to L.A., just as we reached the south side of the Altamont Pass, we started losing the San Francisco radio station we were listening to.  Every time we'd go down hill, The San Francisco radio station, which was playing a more uplifting song would go out and Highway to Hell by AC/DC would come on.  So it went from uplifting song to "...I'm on a highway to hell!", everytime we'd dip down a hill over and over!

  

  
  
  

  

  Altamont Pass

  
  

  
  

  We decided to go to Joshua Tree.  Joshua Tree is east of L.A. in the Mohave Desert.    It is filled with - Joshua Trees.

  
  

  

  Joshua tree

  
  
  
  

  

  My Mustang at the time.

  
  

  
  

  The devil was in my head the whole way there.  These voices in my head were new to me back then.  Once we got to Joshua Tree, we went to skull rock.  The devil proudly told me, "Their I am!" - while laughing at me.

  
  

  

  Skull Rock

  
  
  

  We spent the night in Palm Springs.  The voices began fading.  We made it to L.A.  We got to see one of Bob Barkers last recordings of The Price is Right - one of Susan's life long dreams.

  
  

  Every time they said, "Come on down!", it reminded me of whatever had just happened.  We had fun, but the trip was tainted.  I had a way of doing this a lot.  On the way back, I was praying to God for an answer.  Right then I looked up and I saw a semi-trailer with a huge advertisement  that said, "Kaiser Permanente".  That's where I could find recovery - Kaiser's CDRP.  Kaiser was Susan and my HMO."

  
  

  The experience cleaned me up for a bit.  I didn't check into the program.  Eventually I chalked it all up to meth psychosis.  The inevitable happened at some point.

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  Although I used to be the one who got the free concert tickets in Cincinnati, it was Susan in San Francisco.  She advertised with KFOG for Bike to Work day, so we got great tickets for Kaboom.  Susan loves fireworks! 

  
  

  It just so happens that Kaboom is held every year in May on Pier 30.  After all this blog is Liberty!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Not only did I choose God, Man Smart (Woman Smarter)  and I chose LOVE!  I wrote a blog titled A Thousand Years on August 1, 2012.  This is when she was moving back to Cincinnati and we were saying our goodbyes.  Below is how that blog ended:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "She did so much for me in my life.  She tried so hard to save our marriage.  She asked that our wedding vowels read "forever."  I ruined all that.

  Before we left the apartment, Sus asked, "Do we have to say good bye?"  It's not as if I'll never see her again, but in many ways it is goodbye.

  
  

  I hugged her for so long and 23 years just flashed through my mind.  There were lots of beautiful memories.  I told her, "Thanks Sus.  I wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for you."

  
  

  This song coincidentally enough came on the radio before I left.  Susan and I listened to this song in our last moments together.  She said "How did you know that was my song to you?"  How couldn't I?  I'll always love you Sus.  Good luck.  See you someday."

  My Higher Power I call God is The Universe.  GOD is amazing!

  And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

  
  

  - Revelations 13:2

  I was born at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital in Marriemont, Ohio.  Marriemont is located on U.S. Route 50.  State Route 50 runs all the way to Sacramento, California.  In 1971, my family lived in Norwood, Ohio.

  By the time I was 3, we moved to Kings Mills, Ohio.  We lived on Columbia Road.  Columbia Road is Route 15. Coney Island, which was located on The Ohio River had just relocated to Kings Mills.  It was now called Kings Island!   David was written about in Kings.

  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  (9/19/15 - Space - Time) I'm not sure if I wrote about this above, but if you've been reading my blogs recently, you've read how I love tall structures.  I guess they are like cathedrals or church steeples - closer to the stars.  In 2010, I wrote Top of the World, because Susan and I got to go to the top of the South Tower of The Golden Gate Bridge.  Being my favorite structure in the world that has meant so much to me over the years, I really felt like I was on top of the world!  It was beautiful.  Unfortunately, I had to sign an agreement not to display or print the images.  I, of course, have always honored that.

  
  

  Kings Mills is 24 miles north east of downtown Cincinnati, so there aren't many tall structures.  As you'll read below, I once worked on the 30th floor of the tallest building in Cincinnati.  In what is now the suburbs of Cincinnati , Kings Island is home to a 1/3 replica of The Eifel Tower in Paris, France.  It was actually built while we lived in Kings Mills.  It was completed on 5/3/75.  It is 315 tall.  Over the years, having a season pass to Kings Island, I always loved to go the top of the Eifel Tower.  And, since this is Liberty I might as well point out that we got to see a lot of fireworks.  Since we always lived near Kings Island, we could at least hear fireworks every night during the season.

  
  

  

  
  
  

  The tallest structure in the world for 41 years was the Eifel Tower in Paris.  It surpassed The Washington Monument in 1889.  In 1930, the Eifel Tower was surpassed by The Chrysler Building in New York City which I write about below.

  We lived in Kings Mills while my parents built a house in Morrow, Ohio.  I went to kindergarden at Little Miami in Morrow, Ohio.  As I said, I vaguely remember reading Revelations when I was 5 years old.  Especially Chapter 13.  We would only live in that house they built for one year.  There were some dark times.

  
  

  Yesterday, when I went to the San Francisco Zoo for free, I couldn't wait to see the cats!  It ended up being the last exhibit I would see.  Unfortunately, the Lion House was closed.  However, I got to see my favorite cat, The Tiger!  

  
  

  When I was 5 years old in Morrow, Ohio living next to the Morrow Church of Christ, our neighbors were the Merlasinas.   They like us, had about 5 acres and they also had 3 wheelers before 3 wheelers were ATV's.  The little girl and I used to play in the little house in the back yard.  Her dad worked at the Cincinnati Zoo.  I'll never forget the time he brought lion cubs home and we played with them in his living room.  I'm definitely a cat person.

  
  

  I also remember Bob's friend Joey down and across the road.  We used to go to his house and hang out.  They always fed the squirrels.  Sometimes, the squirrels would even come into the house!

  
  

  My family moved to Loveland, Ohio when I was 6 years old.  There are only two Loveland's in the whole country.  Loveland, Ohio and Loveland, Colorado.  I know I mentioned Free in the last two blogs I published, Warriors and Deal.  Free is actually my friend, Tony, I met in 6th grade.  Tony now lives in the Ft. Collins - Loveland Metropolitan Area.    He's one of maybe two friends I still know today that met my real mother.  In fact, he went with my mother and I to see the movie Christine at the theatre about a month before she died.  My friend Joel who I knew back in school in Loveland, Ohio just posted this on Facebook on August 27, 2015

  
  

  

  I remember Joel!  Thanks.

  Since I just wrote that Joel posted that on August 27th, I should point out that today is August 30th.  There's that Space - Time showing up again.  I promise you, this is confusing to me too.  And, God keeps giving me more and more and more and more....  Thank you God.  I LOVE YOU!

  
  

  Christine is a good movie.  We loved cars growing up.  And, since were on the subject of Cars, I should point out that Tony's family loved Dodge, Chrysler, Plymouth.  His dad did not like GM or Ford.  He especially, didn't like Chevy's.  Tony himself drove a huge 4 wheel drive black Chevy Truck that we took "rompin" as Tony would put it.  And, he also drove a yellow Dodge Challenger.   My brother Bob, had a 1977 Firebird, Formula.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  He loved to deck it out.  It had Keystone rims with white letter tires.  As you can see, it also had darkened light covers.  He, of course, made sure it had a great sound system.  That car was fun.  He sometimes let me drive it, but I had my 1980 Toyota Celica at the time.  After that Formula, he had a Yellow 1980 Firebird Trans Am.  

  
  

  

  
  

  I love Fords.  I had a 1987 Ford Mustang LX 5.0 - 5 speed and a 1999 Ford Mustang  GT 5.0 - 5 speed!  Tony's dad like to call Fords, Found On Road Dead.  I loved the Mustangs I had and all their horsepower!

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

  
  

  - Revelations 6:2

  
  

  I loved my white horse!  That little 5.0 was so fast.  It was lighter than the 1987 GT's so it was faster.  It had 225 horsepower.  Elvis's Camaro behind me never stood a chance!  It was pretty fast too.  We had fun with our sports cars!

  
  

  

  
  

  And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.

  
  - Revelations 6:2
  

  That black horse was so powerful!  It had 240 horsepower.  I really loved my GT.  I bought it brand new in 1999.  It was the first year of the new body style.  When we moved to San Francisco, we knew we had to sell one car.  We only had about a month to get out here, so we put my Mustang and Susan's Bug for sale at the same time.  We figured whichever one sold first would determine which one we would keep.  I bought her a Red 2001 Volkswagen Bug for her birthday.  She loved that car!  It even had flower vase built into the dashboard.  

  I nicknamed my brother, Bob, Trans Am in Warriors.   I did so because he loved and owned Trans Am's and he happened to be at a Sammy Hagar Concert in Dayton, Ohio at Rose Pavilion while I was writing Warriors.   He text me this  photo on June 20, 2015.  

  
  

  
  

  

  "Alien"

  
  

  All of these coincidences and the voices in my head allowed me to understand myself this way.  I would get a sensation that my foot was being twisted while laying in my bead and the voices in my head would say, "Alien."  I once felt that I was being torn "limb from limb."  I was simply understanding this time.  Actually, Bob's nickname is Trans Am (Highway Wonderland).  That's the name of the song by Sammy Hagar we always loved.  They are awesome cars.  That songs lyrics are "I  E - A - T  Z28."  

  
  

  I have written Give to Live and Give to Live (part II).  I published Give to Live on 11/6/2012.  It would be the last blog I would publish before I jumped off the 5th floor of a BART station parking garage on 1/15/13.  Below is an excerpt of how it ended:

  
  

  Please don't think I'm giving up. I'm just trying to surrender. I loved feeling alive! It had been so long since I felt that way. I miss it. I want to feel alive again someday. I must learn from my mistakes. I love so many of you. Hopefully, I will let people know how things are going some day, somehow.  I may even write this blog again someday.  It may be a while.   I will miss it.  In order to live, I do need to give.  For now, I'm alive and I have 2 days clean. Thank you God. 

  THE END. (for now)

  
  

  
  

  
  

  The lyrics to Give to Live begins: 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Ooh, I can see that you've got fire in your eyes and pain inside your heart.  So many things have come and torn your world apart."

  
  

  
  

  
  

  His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.  And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  - Revelations 19:12-13

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Give to Live (part II) ends like this:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I hate to repeat Give to Live over and over, but it really does matter to me.  I'm not suicidal, but I know using could spell my death.  I want to live. Eventually, using will be nothing Good for me.  Taking care of myself is important.  Losing everything and ending up on the street is killing myself in so many ways.  Using is not living.  That's a fact.  Now that I have been giving and living for a few days, I feel alive!  Alive.  I am alive.  That is a miracle.  I am not a miracle - life is.  I need always be grateful for that.  It is so important to me.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I have gotten many chances.  This is likely the biggest one yet.  I must Give to Live this time.  I must.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Thanks to Bob and Tanner, I'll be writing Give to Live (part III).  I also nicknamed Bob's son, Tanner, Hemi.  Tanner loves Dodge and his dream car is a Dodge Charger.  He's going to school to be an auto-technician.  He recently started Ivy Tech in Richmond, Indiana.  In a couple of years, he'll be going to school in the city - Indianapolis. Home of the Indianapolis 500!  I love big cities with tall buildings!

  
  

  Since we are on the subject of fast cars and tall buildings.  I might as well point out that tallest building in the world was once The Chrysler Building in New York City.  I may be a Ford lover, but as I have written in the past, The Chrysler Building is my favorite buildings in the world.  

  
  

  (9/19/15 Space - Time)  Last night I went to The Great American Music Hall for a Night For City Hope.  I'll explain more below, but on my way I decided I needed to get a photo of The Tsunami Market.  I was also hoping to find Mary.  I may have such a photo in a past blog, but I'm not sure where.  I took this one.

  
  
  

  

  
  

  Chrysler kind of cheated, just like LA is cheating San Francisco pretty soon. I'll get to that part below in He's Gone.  The Chrysler Building was completed in 1930.  I've written for years how the number three kept showing up in my life.  I have color coded important numbers that are divisible by their single digit number.  In 3000, 300 or 30's case the single digit number is, of course, 3.

  
  

  When The Chrysler Building was being built, no one knew which would be taller, The Chrysler Building or The Bank of Manhattan Trust Building.  The Chrysler Building topped off at 925'.  The Bank of Manhattan Trust Building topped off at 946'.  Chrysler lost!  But, Chrysler, as usual, cheated.  They hid a spire in an elevator shaft and after it was completed, lifted it up to the top of The Chrysler Building making 1046' tall.  It is exactly 100' taller.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  It's even has Chrysler hood ornaments as decorations.

  
  

  It seems like God communicates to me through my love of tall buildings, long bridges and big train stations.  And, oh yeah, I love planes.  And, space ships!   I think these things are beautiful!  Oh, and since I'm on the beautiful subject,  people are beautiful.  God communicates to me through people.  People in the flesh and in my head. I'm pretty sure it's peoples voices I hear in my head.  Or, it could be what I used to think was - a Parallel Universe.  Either way, God understands what I' writing about.

  
  

  If you've heard me in your head, I guess we are both schizophrenic.  That or it has something to do with God.  Thank you.  God is The Truth and The Truth is God.   God knows everything I've written is The Truth.  I can't make this stuff up to align with The Universe myself.  God made it up!  Thank you for helping God and me!  God communicates with me so many other ways.  I am a prophet.  And, I'm a pretty  important one!  And, I'm an addict.  I always said, God loves idiots and addicts.  I fit Green Day's album American Idiot like a glove.  And, I am The Jesus of Suburbia.  The Cincinnati suburb of Loveland, Ohio to be exact!

  
  

  Speaking of Love-land, why do I keep falling in love?  It has a lot to do with what's going on inside my head, but with Mary....  I love Mary.  And, Mary wasn't just inside my head.  I was inside of her!  We had sex for hours.  If drugs weren't involved, I'd say we made love.  Maybe we did. That's how it felt.  My band performs the Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers song, Last Dance with Mary Jane.  Mary is Lola Montez.  "Don't look in her eyes, you might fall and find the love of your life, heavenly."  I published that one on December 24, 2014.  It's the one I published right before Althea. 

  
  

  The name Jane from one of my favorite bands Jane's Addiction represented a prostitute.  As you will read below, Mary was basically prostituting herself.  I will write a blog in the future titled Jane Says to explain how I came full circle to Fox Plaza.  If Mary and I could get together without using, I'd be in love.  I want to make love to her.  She is so beautiful.  She looks 29, but like me, she's 43.  4+3=7

  
  

  I personally think women are beautiful!  It's actually a bit of a weakness for me.  Not necessarily a bad weakness, but my meth addiction has created some sex issues.  I guess more than some, but women are still beautiful.  God made them that way!  Speaking of women, I like tunnels!  I guess I'm just a man!  And, God made me that way.  

  
  

  Wait.  Now I'm confused.  Man made tunnels and towers such as skyscrapers and subways.  God made tunnels and towers such as....   Well, you get what I'm writing about.  Kids may read this.  I must prepare you though, naked butts will appear below.  And when it comes to tall buildings, big train stations and butts, bicycles are also important.  And when it comes to skyscrapers, train stations, bicycles, butts and art, Gina and I like photography.   We'll get to the towers, tunnels and butts below!  

  
  

  Gina's butt is in an important photograph!  It's Revelations!  And, somehow, her birthday put me on the same corner I found myself on a Mission one day.  Lets just say I may have broken some ribs being on a Mission to get naked butt pictures.  Someone who gave me a lot of grace did not like what I was doing.  To me it was art!  And, now, it's where I belong!  

  
  

  I really do love subways.  I always have.  Old Train Stations are beautiful.  In fact, Grand Central Station is one block away from The Chrysler Building on 42nd Street in New York City.   42nd Avenue becomes The Queens Tunnel which , of course leads to Queens.

  
  

  

  Grand Central Station

  
  

  

  
  

  

  Grand Central Subway Station

  
  

  

  

  Manhattan Bridge and The Chrysler Building

  
  

  I took this photograph from The Brooklyn Bridge when we were in New York City to ring 2010 at Times Square.

  
  

  

  Trans American Pyramid

  My favorite building is in my second favorite city - New York City.  My second favorite building is in my favorite city - San Francisco.  It is the tallest building in San Francisco.   For 3800 years the tallest structure in the world was a pyramid - The Great Pyramid of Giza that was constructed 4500 years ago.  

  
  

  Which takes me back to what I was writing about - my mother.  My mother, Tony (Free) and I went to the theater and watched the movie, Christine right before my mother died.  My mother, was always wanting to make us laugh took a whoopi cushion to the theatre!  Despite some hard times, my mom liked to party and have fun.  Her brother Don and his family would come over all the time and we would all sit around and play Hearts.  "Who's got the Queenie?"  (See Loser below.)  

  
  

  Her family was a fun bunch.  Back when we lived in Morrow, I remember we used to drive around and put Little Kings Beer Bottles in people mailboxes.  And, I also remember, when we lived in Loveland Heights my mother and her brother Don were out in the middle of Sunrise Drive with Halloween masks on acting like they were hitchhiking.  Finally, a car came by and threw water balloons at them!  They loved that part. 

  
  

  And, like I wrote above, my mother used to love horror movies.  I always used to say watching horror movies made my life seem a little more normal.  Life can be hard.   For me, it was a horror story at times.  This doesn't mean I didn't experience some amazingly beautiful times.  Without the hard times, how could we love and appreciate the Good times.  That's God for ya!  

  
  

  Again, I'll write a blog in the future titled Open Up Your Heart and Let The Sun Shine In!  Even though this Good understanding has arrived for me, these voices in my head are still hard and confusing sometimes! "Confusion is nothing new"  So, thanks, fellow schizo's .  We did it for God.  Or, simply, Thank you God for giving me strength and seeing me through the emotional and psychological pain.  I needed it.   Or, is it, we needed it?  Either way, thank you God for allowing my personal understanding.   And, "If you call me you know I will." 

  
  

  I attended 1st grade at Lloyd Mann Elementary School in Loveland, Ohio.  I graduated Loveland Hurst High School.  I played football and our mascot was The Tigers.  We were to have "Tiger Pride".  I graduated in 1990.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  I grew up on Rich Road.   My dad had a good job at Proctor and Gamble.  We lived in a two story bi-level.  My dad helped build the house in the late 70's.  For a man who was born at the bottom of a Lake, he allowed us to live a good life. 

  
  

  After I graduated in 1990, I went to school at The University of Cincinnati.  Their football team was okay, but it was our basketball team that was great in the five years I was there.  It took me 5 years, because I co-opted at the schools newspaper, The News Record.  It was the Bob Huggins Days!  In 1992 we went to the Final Four.  I remember I was at a college News Paper Convention in another city called The Queen City -  Charlotte, North Carolina.   The Final Four was in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  U.C. lost by 4 points to Michigan's Fab 5. 

  
  

  Since I just wrote about being in Charlotte in 1992 at my first college news paper convention, I might as was well write about another trip I once made to Charlotte.  This one was for, what else?  A Grateful Dead Show.  They were playing The Charlotte Coliseum - The home of The Hornets.   Susan (Man Smart (Woman Smarter)), Jerry (Not Garcia), Jeff (Doctor Rock Star) and myself met Terrapin Station and Jeff (Green Bean) in Charlotte.  At the time, Terrapin Station was living in Jacksonville and Jeff was living in Chapel Hill.  The Grateful Dead played The Charlotte Coliseum 3/22/95, 3/23/95, 3/24/95.  Susan and I loved it when they played Man Smart (Woman Smarter).  I recently recalled that they played that in Charlotte on 3/24/95.  

  
  

  While I was looking for a good version of Liberty for this blog, I came across two.  One was at Nassau Coliseum on Long Island in New York and the other was at The Charlotte Coliseum in North Carolina.  Susan and I were at both of those shows.  And, at both of those shows, Liberty was the encore!  Grateful Dead lyricist Robert Hunter had just written that song in 2003.  And, while I estimate that I've seen about 800 bands in concert, I only saw 30 Grateful Dead concerts while Jerry Garcia was alive.  I've probably been to something like 50 or more shows of surviving members since Jerry's death.

  
  

  I'll write more below, but when I saw the Liberty clip on YouTube from Nassau Coliseum, I thought to myself, "We were at that show."   We hung out in NYC for a few days before heading to see the shows in Nassau.  We stayed at The Holland Tunnel Motor Lodge in Jersey City.  It was a dump, but it was near New Jersey Path Subway Train that we would take to The World Trade Center Subway Station in The Financial District.   That was our first visit to New York City.  During our stay, I took my first trip to top of The World Trade Center.  I love skyscrapers.  I felt like I was on Topof  The World!  I fell in love with New York!  We had a great time.  

  
  

  

  I took this photo from Jersey City.

  I have said how much I love tall buildings and long bridges.  Especially suspension bridges with their tall towers and their beautiful arches.  I took the destruction of those buildings personal. 

  
  

  Then there was given me a measuring rod like a staff; and someone said, Get up and measure the temple of God and the altar, and those who worship in it.

  
  

  - Revelations 11:1

  
  

  
  

  You will here more about these important friends of mine that seem to appear at some critical moments in time.  I already mentioned, Jeff (Doctor Rock Star).  I have yet to introduce some other characters to Beaty's Babbling Brain Bible.  Did I just write Bible?  Well, I guess I'll stick with Blog.  Since I wrote Bible, it's import that I point out that we were in New York on April 1st - April Fools Day.  I have written in the a past about how Armageddon was to occur on April Fools Day in 2013.  I'll write a lot more about April 1st below in Me and My Uncle.  For now, I will point out that The King of Rock and Roll accompanied us on that trip that we went to Top of The World Trade Center. 

  
  

  (9/4/15 - Space - time.  In other words, this may have happened above, but I wrote it after I wrote this.  Get it?  It's confusing to me too.)  From now on, I will provide a persons first name first and then their nickname in parenthesis.  Throughout my blog, I have used nicknames or chosen not to use a name for different reasons.  At first, I didn't think anyone would want to be associated with someone like me.  Also, I have written about addicts I've met in recovery and knew I needed to protect their anonymity.  Some of the nicknames, such as Doctor Rock Star I myself or someone came up with long ago.  If I use some ones real name it's not to harm them or offend them.  It's because I love them and hopefully they'll still love me!  All's I've ever wanted to do with what I am writing is help people.

  
  

  
  

  One person I have yet to introduce in Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog I will assign the nickname of The King of Rock and Roll himself, Elvis!  Elvis is my cousin Kenny.  I'll explain a lot more below when I get to Me and My Uncle.  

  
  

  Another person who went with us is a good friend of mine from Loveland named Scott (Wake of the Flood).  Wake of the Flood will be a future blog.  Scott did not attend Loveland Elementary or Middle Schools.  He and Jeff (Doctor Rock Star) started their Freshman Year at Moeller High School in Montgomery, Ohio.  It's a Catholic School that always has a great football team.  I guess they some how didn't fit in, so they didn't attend their Sophomore years there.  Scott ended up in Loveland and Jeff in neighboring Sycamore.

  
  

  Also in attendance was Nicole (Rideshare).  She was originally from Wisconsin, but moved to Cincinnati to go to The University of Cincinnati.  She would later become a great client of mine when I worked at AJ Indoor Advertising.  I'll write the details below.  Basically, Nicole did the job in Cincinnati that Susan did while in San Francisco.  We went to two shows at Nassau Coliseum.  

  While there, we met some guy, I think his name was Brad.  He didn't have a place to stay, so like most deadheads, we treated him like family and let him stay in our room.  Years later, Susan and I would see Brad at the Warfield in San Francisco whenever someone from The Dead was playing.

  
  

  
  

  Between Grateful Dead shows at Nassau Coliseum, we spent the morning at Jones Beach on Long Island.  It was cold, but It was beautiful.  I loved that fact that we were in The JFK Airports flight path.  I loved seeing 747's take off from behind us and over the beach.  Not far from where we spent that morning on the Beach would be the future site of the TWA 800 crash.  I remembered that morning we hanging out on long Island at that beautiful beach.

  
  

  This blog is Liberty.  I have written about U.S. Presidents in my blog.  My dad had dinner with his favorite President, President Reagan.  As you will read below, I saw President Obama when I was homeless and went to the San Francisco Public Library and wrote Standing on the Moon.

  
  

  (10/2/15 - Space - Time)  I don't know if I've shared the fact that Jerry Garcia is Samsome from the bible.  Jerry's voice told me this a few weeks ago.  And, when I was walking with Gina one day explaining that I was in fact Jesus Christ and that Jerry was in fact Samsome.  About a minute afterward, we were walking in the shadow of the Trans American Pyramid and Gina said, "Where are we?"  I looked up and:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  10/5/15 - Jerry Garcia has assured me he is 
  Standing on the Moon.  
  "I see the battle rage below."

  
  

  (10/1/15 - Space - Time ) It is 9:36 and I am at Fox Plaza.  These evil voices will not stop messing with my head.  For the past couple of days, I have had to go to the San Francisco Public Library.  I've been really struggling and then I realized that if I were around good people, they can't bother me.  Good always wins.  For the past couple of days, I have had President of the United States of America Abraham Lincoln watching over me while I have been in the library.  I have also had my favorite President of The United States of America, President Barrack Obama with me.  How appropriate is that this blog Liberty (Revelations) is being assisted by the president who won the war against slavery and the first African American President in United States History!  God is awesome!

  
  

  In the spring of 1993, two more U.S. Presidents get connected to Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog.  In 1993, I was living with my friend John (928) in the Oakley Neighborhood of Cincinnati.  John had a Porsche 928.  That's still my favorite Porsche.  Whenever we'd get on I-71 together from the Smith and Edwards entrance, we'd have ourselves a race.  I'd get him in the start, but he'd usually get past me.  We had fun.  

  
  

  John graduated the same year as my brother Bob in 1987.  He was on the football team that went to the playoffs in 1987. He also owned an awesome speedboat.  Loving music like we did, we would take it out the Ohio River and park it behind Riverbend Music Center during concerts.  It's behind the stage, but the music can be heard pretty good.  After the concerts, we'd head back to the boat ramp.  That boat was so fast.  I think it'd go like 60 mph.  We'd jump barge wakes all the way back to the city.

  
  

  For Spring Break, John, his girlfriend Amy, Kelly (Pearl), Scott (Wake of the Flood), Susan (Man Smart (Woman Smarter)) and me drove to Daytona Beach, Florida.  The Grateful Dead were playing the Omni in Atlanta, Georgia.  We, of course, had to make a pit stop.  We hung out in the parking lot all day, but did not go into the show.  The Omni is right next to CNN Headquarters.  Susan had to go somewhere.  When she came back, she said, "I just saw Jimmy Carter!"  Susan got to see President Jimmy Carter at a Grateful Dead show.  

  
  

  Unfortunately, President Carter has cancer now.  I believe he is 90.  He is a great man.  In fact, I'll write a little bit more about President Carter below in Me and My Uncle.    If I weren't only eight years old, I would have probably voted for him!  My dad, of course, voted for President Reagan.  And, would get to have dinner with him.  I, of course, write some about it in the section of this blog titled Liberty and I also write about it below in the section of Cumberland Blues.  And, I just published Cumberland Blues on 6/2/15.  I don't know if I wrote it above or below because I keep getting bounced all over the place by The Universe, but The Grateful Dead played matching set lists to my blogs at The 50th Anniversary. 

  
  

  We'd continue on to Daytona Beach and have a great vacation.  While there, we watched The University of Cincinnati play North Carolina in the Elite 8.  They would play them in Charlotte, North Carolina.  That's the city I was at a College Newspaper Convention just one year earlier when The Bearcats were in The Final Four.  

  
  

  While in Daytona Beach, we met with Tony (Free) and his wife Lynn (Cassidy).  Tony, Marty (Eyes of the World) and Chad (Loveland Lanes) all went down to Daytona Beach for our Senior Year.  That year, I had been nominated to win an award for a person who was nice and always smiling.  I forget what it was called.  I wasn't there to accept it even if I were to have win, but a guy who won it named Scott really was and I'm sure still is a nice guy

  
  

  It's kind of like how I was nominated to be Homecoming King my senior year.  Defensive Linebackers may be all of the guts on a football team, but the quarterback gets all the glory!  Our quarterback, Steve was elected Homecoming King.  He's a great guy.  He deserved it.  I couldn't believe I was even nominated.  I'm really not tooting my horn about myself here.  However, since I was once David, King of the Bible and that brought up one more opportunity to mention something about a King, I figured I'd write about it.  And, I'm tooting GOD's horn!  GOD is so amazing.

  
  

  The Bearcats ended up losing to North Carolina in Charlotte 75 to 68.  North Carolina would end up winning the entire tournament at The New Orleans Super Dome.  The following year, some of us would take a trip down to Chapel Hill to The Dean Dome to see U.C. lose to North Carolina again.  We also went because our friend Jeff (Green Bean) was living there with his girlfriend.

  
  

  Later that year in the fall of 1993, I would go to where the Bearcats had lost in the Final Four a year before - Minneapolis.  Again, it was for a College Newspaper Convention.    There were colleges from all over the country, but I specifically remember The University Daily Kansan.  It had a large readership and a large student staff.  I specifically bring it up, because yesterday I was talking to Susan on the phone and she said, "Did you hear that Kansas hired a new head football coach named "David Beaty".  He was hired from Texas A&M.

  
  

  I wish I didn't have to keep jumping all over the place here, but once again, I must connect this blog to Contrails.  This has all come at me so fast.  However, This David Beaty hired to be the head coach at Kansas makes a lot of sense for me to connect it to Revelations.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I was back just days later.  My dad was in the hospital.  I was very anxious on that plane ride.  I knew this was going to be a difficult time.  I was on a red eye flight.  We were somewhere over Kansas when the sun began to rise.  I have watched to sun rise and set more times than I ever imagined a person could.  The whites of my eyes are burned to this day.

  
  

  This sunrise was spectacular.  I took out “soul assistance” and took some photos out the window.  I am now calling one of those photos “Heaven and Hell”.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  I got off the plane in Cincinnati.  As I got on the long escalator that takes you from Concourse B to Terminal 3, something caught my eye.  On the tail fin of a 767 were some numbers that caught my eye.  When I got to the bottom, I decided I had to ride the long escalator back up and take a photo with my little camera.  The numbers are hard to read in the photo.  The numbers are 666.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  He was taken to the hospital with a blood alcohol level of something like .325.  My stepmother had decided that she did not want him in their house until he got help.  I agreed.  I have two teenage brothers who should not have to be around that insanity.  Besides, he needed help.  If he did not get help, he was going to die.  I knew this.

  
  

  My dad’s family viewed me as taking sides.  Who was this junkie to tell his dad he could not be in his own home?  I told my dad that he would want me to protect my little brothers from the person he became when he drank.  He would.  I also knew my brothers should not have to be around this person.  I was around “this person” when I was there age.  I became an IV drug user.  In no way am I blaming my dad for this fact.  However, I am a product of my environment.  So was my dad.  We all are.  My dad’s alcoholism was not his fault either.  I am not sure of all of the circumstances that led my dad to drink, but I believe my mom’s death played a big part.  She also had addiction issues.  It seems all addicts are first co-dependents.

  For years I have referred to that photo as "Heaven and Hell over Kansas."  Minneapolis ended up being really cool.  Not only was the convention cool, but I got to see a lot and meet some cool people.  For starters, I always loved Princes movie, Purple Rain.  I had to go to First Avenue where Prince and The Revolution got their start.  The night I was their, there was a band called Sex-o-Rama - Go figure.  It was a cool place.

    

  The Oakland A's were also in town.  And, they were staying at our hotel.  I guess the Giants are probably my second favorite team, but I also like the A's.   However, back in 1990, the year I graduated high school, The Reds swept The Oakland A's in The World Series.  Remember how I wrote in Warriors that we were having a bond fire Tony's (Free) parents house the night the Red's swept the A's.  Susan (Man Smart (Woman Smarter)), Tony (Free), Kelly (Pearl), Scott (Wake of the Flood) and who knows who else all headed downtown to celebrate.  I remember people riding out of the sunroof of my Toyota Celica.

  
  

  Back then, Scott and I were working at The Management Development Center at The University of Cincinnati's College of Business Administration.  We used to have seminars on the top floor of MDC.  Scott pretty much put the packets together and I booked everyone over the phone.  It was a great job.  When the Reds had their parade downtown, Scott and I went.  That morning while at MDC, Scott and I created a huge sign for the two of us to hold up on Fountain Square.  I know I kept the real one.  It's most likely in my storage.

  
  

  

  
  

  The hotel in Minneapolis we stayed was where the actual convention was being held.  As I just wrote, the Oakland A's were staying there to.  I was hanging out with a couple of my female friends down in the hotel bar.  One of Oakland A's happened to be down there.  Being college girls I was hanging with, the Oakland A invited us up to the suite where the whole team was hanging out drinking beer and eating pizzas.  It was pretty cool.  Mark McGuire and Rickey Henderson were there.  We had a good time.

  
  

  I was talking to a guy who was some kind of coach.  He was a nice guy.  At some point I shared with him I was from Cincinnati.  I happened to notice he was wearing a World Series ring.  I told him "Nice Ring".  He said, "Yeah, I'd have another one if it weren't for Cincinnati."  Oakland would end their season with the worst record in the American League that year.  They were the only team ever to finish first in The American League one year and last the next

  
  

  I can't remember his name, but I got to know one of the Oakland A's pitchers that trip.  He was young and was from The East Village in New York City.   I had just been to the East Village earlier that year when we went to see the Grateful Dead at Nassau Coliseum.  Since Jeff (Dr. Rockstar) and Scott (Wake of the Flood) was with us, we had to go to CBGB's.  CBGB's was a punk club in New York's East Village.  Bands like Blondie, The Ramones, Talking Heads and The Misfits got their start there.  The place was a dump, but we loved it.  Susan didn't like being in any place that didn't have clean restrooms and theirs were far from it.

  
  

  This Oakland A's pitcher loved going to CBGB's.  We talked quite a bit about it.  Later that night, I went with him and another player into his room.  He had pitched that night and they won pretty big.  He was playing the tape on his T.V. and with his New York accent was saying things to his teammates like "Look at that fuckin' pitch!"  I love East Coast Accents.

  
  

  I went to the Mall of America that trip.  At the time, it was the largest mall in the world.  It even has an amusement park inside of it.  Growing up on Rich Road in Loveland, Ohio, we lived just 5 miles from Kings Island.  We always had a season pass to Kings Island.  Until this day, Kings Island has the longest wooden Roller Coaster in the world - The Beast.

  
  

  

  
  

  It was completed in 1979.  They were building the Scoobie Doo in 1971.  After they built the Beast, they changed the Scoobie Doo's name to Beastie.  In the year 2000, King's Island built Son of Beast.  On 2000 New Years, I was in San Francisco to see Ratdog at the Warfield.  We would stay at The Renoir Hotel at the corner of 7th and Market.  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  In the year 2012, they would begin tearing the Son of Beast down.  I entered City Team (Christian Chaos) that year.

  
  

  

  I also road the roller coaster while at the Mall of America.  Amusement Parks are fun.  I will write a blog in the future called, Open Up your Heart and Let the Sun Shine in.  It has an amazing connection to an abandoned amusement park.  And, in the blog I wrote on 10/17/10, 100, when I had exactly 100 days clean referred to Myspace as an abandoned amusement park.  I used to publish my blog on Myspace.  I would end up relapsing and 100 would be the last blog I would write until I wrote Standing on the Moon on 2/25/12.  

  
  

  Chia Pets were big back then.  I'll never forget they had a Chia Garcia at Mall of America.  I almost bought it, but did not.  The really cool part about being there, was Barry Manilow was there signing autographs.  I saw him, but the line was too long and I was never a huge fan.  Apparently Susan's family liked Barry Manilow.  Susan used to call him "Banilow".

  
  

  Minneapolis was turning out to be a good trip.  I was now The Sales Manager for The News Record and we were able to take a pretty big sales crew to the convention.  We learned a lot.  And, we had some fun.

  
  

  To top it off and since this blog is Liberty, on the day before I left, I saw President Bill Clinton.  I was standing on the street and could see him in the distance giving a speech in The Crystal Palace.  I have some photos of him but cannot locate them.  It's hard to see him in those photos, but he can be seen.  They are somewhere.  I did, however find a couple photos of the Presidential Motorcade.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  

  
  

  I took a quick shot with my little 35mm camera.  It's hard to see him in this photo, but I saw him!  It's cool to see a president.  The next time I would get to see a President, I was homeless.  I wrote about seeing President Obama in Standing on the Moon.  That's the blog that followed 100.

  
  

  We had a lot of fun while at U.C.  And, we rarely missed a home basketball game!  Shoemaker Center, or as we called it, "The Shoe" sold out all 13,176 seats every game and was so loud.  We use to camp out for tickets and Bob Huggins would buy us pizza.  U.C.'s mascot is The Bearcat.  

  
  

  

  
  

  While attending U.C., I had a Jewish friend.   He called me Bear.  His mother was a professor at U.C..  She was really nice.  We had a party at his house in Amberley at the end of a school year.  We all wore white t-shirts and wrote notes on each others.  I'm sure it's in my storage bin - somewhere.  Amberley Village has a large Jewish population.  It is right next to The City of Reading.  

  
  

  Danny Junior's mother, Lou lived in Reading, Ohio.   Lou was big Danny's first wife.  Reading high schools mascot is The Blue Devil's.  I always looked forward to playing football against Reading in high school, because I had friends on that team. 

  
  

  Before I continue, and since feline creatures are described in Revelations 13, I should point out that I've been a diehard Cincinnati Bengals Fan my entire life.  We were for many years, season ticket holders.  The Bengals were really struggling and Riverfront Stadium was getting old.  The Reds and especially The Bengals were both struggling.  Some people were saying "Move Bengals and take The Reds with you."  I never understood this.  Keeping Cincinnati a major league city was what I understood for Cincinnati.  

  
  

  In 1850, it was the 6th largest city in the country, however, it is now has 28th largest metro area in the country.  With a population of 2,149,449, it is the largest metropolitan area in Ohio.  Cincinnati and Dayton have been growing together over the years and there has been talk of merging their population data in the next U.S. Census.  Adding Dayton's 800,836 would create a combined Metro Area of 2,950,285.

  
  

  People did not like General Manager, Mike Brown.  Mike Brown is Paul Browns son.  Paul Brown coached the Cleveland Browns to three NFL championships – in 1950, 1954 and 1955 – but was fired in January 1963 amid a power struggle with team owner Art Modell. Brown in 1968 co-founded and was the first coach of the Cincinnati Bengals.  He died on August 5, 1991.

  
  

  While Mike Brown got a lot of criticism, he was committed to keeping his Bengals in The Queen City.  Oh yeah, since I was once David, King of the Bible, I should point out that Cincinnati is known as The Queen City of the West.   In fact, the tallest building  in Cincinnati is topped off with a tiara!  It's  Revelations!  It's 666 feet tall.  And, I have many more close and personal connections to Great American Insurance and Great American Ball Park and tall sky scrapers in Cincinnati. And, Great American Ballpark hosted the All Star Game this year.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  (10/2/15 - Space Time) I have recently been betrayed during The recent blood moon by Alano's Sax.  I know I was betrayed by Judah in the past.  Judah has informed me that my mother is in hell.  I wrote in Car Crash that the devil said I could serve high in hell if I bowed to him.  Below is an excerpt:

  
  

  
  

  He told me, "Come on down" and bow down to him (We live on the third floor.)  He said, if I surrendered to him I would serve high in hell.  (what an oxymoron, huh?)  He said if I did, I could do whatever I wanted on earth and no one would know my secrets.  (That's kind of what put me there.)  I said, "Never."  "I'll choose God."  He laughed, the way you'd expect the devil to laugh and said, "God will not choose you!"  He said I was going to end up in hell anyway, so, I might as well enjoy myself on earth and serve high in hell.  All lies.

  
  

  
  

  I now understand what's going on with my life and quack doctors.  That's what killed my mom and basically my dad.  Judah wanted my mother.  Judah keeps saying he's trying to call his people off, but I still have to come to the San Francisco Library to write with President Lincoln above me.  Susan worked at the public library in Cincinnati and her nickname is Man Smart (Woman Smarter).  And, since Revelations speaks of the morning star and my mother is from Cincinnati, Ohio I thought it was appropriate that the new tallest building in Cincinnati at 666 feet tall has a Tiara on the roof. 

  I've heard it's hard to get people to stop being wrong to each other and believe in God in hell, but I'm trying to get Judah to hand the crown over the Queen.  Above I wrote:

  
  

  
  

  One night, I was even considering jumping off my balcony.  However, my dad's voice kept asking me not too.  I was looking all around this beautiful city wandering how something so beautiful could be so misunderstood.  I looked down 26 floors.  I was feeling so defeated in life.  Would it just end when I hit, or would I go to a never ending hell?  Then, I looked up and saw a bright shining star.  

  
  

  

  

  
  

  
  

  Today is 9/1/15.  So much of what I wrote below foretold white I am just now understanding.  God is amazing. I had no idea at the time I took this photo that I was living the Book of Revelations.  I also had no idea that when I took that photo.  I just remember seeing a folder in my computer labeled "North Star".  I have been bouncing all around my computer files with new and different understandings since the end of April.

  
  

  A file I named "North Star" just caught my eye the other day.  I just knew it was a bright star when I took the above photo and I've heard the north star was bright.  I didn't remember what night I actually took the photo.  I thought it wasn't that long ago, but I just now at 9:30 PM on 9/1/15 went back and found that the photo was taken on 1/30/15.  I took it in the AM hours.  I just now understood that I took it early in the morning one day following the date after I found my mother dying.  She died on 1/29/84.  And, it's been a while, but I'm pretty sure that's the star I looked up at the night my dad was with me telling me not to jump.  I probably wouldn't have, but I was deep into the thought of it, until I looked up. 

  
  

  I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star.

  
  

  - Revelations 22:16

  
  

  (10/5/15 - Space - Time)  I'm in the library right now.  El Diablo has been so hard on me all night.  I know I wrote at the top how Steve Earle played The Revolution Starts Now.  After I read that Queen City Tower part I just remembered how I got my mother out of hell.  There's a lot more to it, but Steve Earle is doing all he can to help me right now.  He's a great man!

  
  

  When I worked in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio, I worked in the tallest building at the time for a while.  The Carew Tower was 574 feet tall.  However, when the World Trade Centers were attacked on 9/11/01, I was on the 30th floor.

  
  

  
  

  "Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,  Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that."

  
  

  
  

  
  

  - Matthew 27:3-4

  
  

  

  The 666 feet tall Queen City Tower had not been built yet. 

  From 1982 until 1999, 7 NFL teams relocated.   Mike Brown was committed to keeping his Bengals in Cincinnati.   In 2006, Hamilton County passed a sales tax that would build a new stadium on the Ohio Riverfront.  The Reds would also get a new stadium on the Ohio River.  Since these two stadiums have been built, a major project called The Banks is under construction.

  
  

  

  This is an aerial photograph from 2009 

  before construction began.  

  
  

  Since the two stadiums were built on the Ohio River, 18 acres between Paul Brown Stadium and Great American Ballpark are now being developed.  In 2009, construction on phase one of the private development began adding luxury apartments and street-level restaurants that was completed and opened in 2011.  Between the two stadiums is the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center.  

  
  

  "Opened on the banks of the Ohio River in Cincinnati in 2004, the mission of the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center is to reveal stories of freedom's heroes, from the era of the Underground Railroad to contemporary times, challenging and inspiring everyone to take courageous steps of freedom today.  A history museum with more than 100,000 visitors annually, it serves to inspire modern abolition through connection the lessons of the Underground Railroad with today's freedom fighters.  The center is also a convener of dialogue on freedom and human rights."

  
  

  

  
  

  (10/2/15 - Space - Time)  How appropriate is it that I am currently at the San Francisco Public Library writing right now so evil voices in my head won't bother me and I have President Abraham Lincoln watching over me.  And, I have also had President Barrack Obama in my head helping me so many times over the years.  He never gave up on my family and that is what was that helped my dad get to Heaven.

  
  

  The banks project is currently under phase two of it's development.  General  Electric Aviation's is building their new world headquarters during the Phase II project of The Banks.

  
  

  

  GE Aviation's $90 million headquarters

  
  

  "Cincinnati's downtown revival has been progressing, slowly, for years. The downtown's population has doubled in the past decade to more than 13,500, according to a report by Downtown Cincinnati Inc. More than 1,200 residential units are expected to be added by 2017, and restaurants and retail establishments are popping up downtown.

  
  

  But the city has faced setbacks, too. In 2011, Chiquita Brands International Inc. announced it would move its headquarters from Cincinnati to Charlotte, N.C., taking with it 400 high-paying jobs.

  
  

  Cincinnati also is still car-dependent. A 3.6-mile streetcar line that will connect downtown isn't expected to open until 2016."

  
  

  Seeing that I love trains and that trains and train stations seem to be a place that I keep receiving all of these amazing signs from God, I'm so glad that Cincinnati is finally getting their street car.  It's vital to the downtown economy and reduces pollution.  It's important that we take care of our beautiful planet!

  
  

  In 2010, Ohio Governor John Kasich killed funding for the project that would have sent The Cincinnati Streetcar to Uptown Cincinnati.  Uptown is where the University of Cincinnati is located.  Uptown and downtown are the two major employment centers in Cincinnati.  Even Cincinnati's Mayor John Cranley is against Cincinnati's Streetcar.  I get that it costs money and funds are limited, but our planet needs to remain beautiful and our urban cores need to repopulate.

  
  

  John Kasich also killed Ohio's high speed rail that would have linked Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland.  I personally, was not to happy about this, but at least California is building there.  In this blog, Liberty (Revelations) there are so many connections to trains, train stations, tall buildings, ride share, bicycling and even NASA.  I've said it before, Mars Hotel is vital.   

  
  

  (10-5-15 - Space Time)  I have been surrounded by these evil people at the San Francisco Public Library.  They are reading what I write on their mobile phones.  You!  In front of me!  You will suffer fiery HELL!  

  
  

  These people won't give up on their ridiculous war.  Good won!  I am celestial.  GOD IS THE UNIVERSE!  Mar's Hotel is vital to our earthly understanding.  Marilynn's (American Beauty) dad is checking out Mars for us right now.  His name is my Bopa (NASA).  He worked for NASA in Cleveland.

  
  

  Growing up and out is vital. I know I love cities and I grew up in the suburbs, but this is important to our beautiful planet.  I am the Jesus of Suburbia!  I am also The American Idiot.  Or should I say, Susan and I are the American Idiots.  We're not alone.  God loves Idiots and addicts.  God loves everyone.

  
  

  I have so many connections to what's going on with corporations, newspapers, train stations, jets, tall buildings, being in the gutter and Queen cities. I'll explain a lot more below however, I should point out that I interviewed with Chiquita when they were in The Queen City of the West.  

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, Chiquita moved to the other Queen City, Charlotte, North Carolina.  Coincidentally enough I would take my second job at a newspaper after interviewing with Chiquita - The Cincinnati Fax News.  Coincidentally enough, at one time The Cincinnati Fax News had an office in an old street car barn at the corner of Main and Liberty Streets in Cincinnati's Over-the-Rhine.   Coincidentally enough, my first trip to the other Queen City was with the first newspaper I worked - The University Cincinnati's New Record. 

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, my second trip to the other Queen City was for a Grateful Dead show.  Coincidentally enough, Jerry (Not Garcia) was with us.  Coincidentally enough The Grateful Dead performed Liberty at the Other Queen City for their encore at one of the two shows we went to.  Coincidentally enough, even though I did not work at Chiquita,  I did work for one of Mr. Lindner's other companies, United Dairy Farmers..  Coincidentally enough, United Dair Farmers opened it's first store in Norwood, Ohio.  Coincidentally enough, the I was born in Norwood, Ohio

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  Today, Carl Lindner's first company has 210 stores in Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana.  Coincidentally enough, my dream car is 1973 Pontiac Fire Bird Trans Am 455 Super Duty.  Coincidentally enough, that car was built in Norwood, Ohio.  Coincidentally enough, I do own a model.  Coincidentally enough, it has a "firebird" on the hood.  Otherwise known as "The Super Chicken".

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

   And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

  
  

  - Revelations 6:4

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, Carl Linder owns the Cincinnati Reds.  Coincidentally enough I worked for Carl Lindner at one of the older UDF's in Montgomery, Ohio when Marge Schott owned the Cincinnati Reds.  Coincidentally enough, Marge Schott came into the store all the time because Marge Schott Buick was right down the street.  I loved when she came in.   She was always friendly.  She always said, "Give me a pack of Pall Mall's honey."  

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, Carl Linder owns Great American Insurance.  Coincidentally enough, the third company I worked in Advertising sales for was AJ Indoor Advertising.  Coincidentally enough, they were based in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  Coincidentally enough, my boss David was from Minneapolis.  Coincidentally enough, my second trip to Minneapolis was with David.

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, my first trip to Minneapolis was with my first newspaper to a college newspaper convention.  Coincidentally enough, I saw President Clinton on that trip to Minneapolis.  Coincidentally enough, I partied with The Oakland A's that trip.  Coincidentally enough, I had recently been to the Big Apple.  Minneapolis is called the Mini Apple.  Coincidentally enough, while in the Big Apple, I was with two people who worked in the transportation industry.   Coincidentally enough we went the top of The World Centers that trip.  Coincidentally enough, The Grateful Dead played Liberty as there encore at one of the 2 shows saw. 

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, AJ Indoor Advertising Cincinnati had an office on the 30th floor of what was then the tallest building in Cincinnati, The Carew Tower.  Coincidentally enough that's where I was when The World Trade Centers were attacked.  Coincidentally enough, David's daughter, Robyn was the receptionist at AJ Indoor. Coincidentally enough, we went to Red's games all the time since David had season tickets.  Coincidentally enough,  Robyn now works for the Cincinnati Reds.

  
  

  

  

  Rosie Red

  
  

  Coincidentally enough, the Reds new stadium is called Great American Ball Park.  Coincidentally enough, the 2015 All-Star Game was at Great American Ball Park.  Coincidentally enough, the Great American Insurance tower is 666 feet tall.  Being in the Queen City, it is topped off with a tiara.  I already wrote that didn't I?  I'm personally connected to another big 666.  Once again, it's Revelations!  I write about it somewhere below.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  Great American Insurance Tower was just completed in this photo.  It did not have Great American displayed under the tiara yet.

  Great American Insurance sits directly behind Great American Ballpark.  On the left of the photo is one of my other favorite structures in the world.  It is The Roebling Suspension Bridge.  It was once the longest bridge in the world.  It was a model for the Brooklynn Bridge in New York City. 

  
  

  (10/5/15 - 11:41 After I just read that in my head, one of hells angels cried and left.  God WINS!  The Devil in my head is.  We all know who he is.  He was with me at CityTeam.  His nickname is El Diablo.

  Coincidentally enough, my favorite quote is from Albert Einstein.  "Coincidence is Gods way of staying anonymous."  I've used that one a few times over the years.  Coincidentally enough, Althea which I published News Years Day 2015 begins with that quote.  I have learned so many more personal coincidences in the past 3 months.  God is truly amazing.

  
  

  (9/10/15 - Space - Time )  About and hour ago I wrote what is above and how Coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous. I've been writing about how many times Ohio and California seem to connect for me.  I just went looking for Mary (Lola Montez).  I'm starting to understand why I'm in love with her.  I didn't find her.  However, Fox Plaza is full of beautiful women.  I just got back on my bike and when I got in my elevator, I was with a man and a beautiful young lady in spandex who looked as if she just took a run.  It has been hot in San Francisco for the past couple of days - for San Francisco.  The man was complaining about how hot it had been.  I agree.  Then, this cute young lady said, "I don't know how you guys do it on your bikes here with all the hills.  I just got here yesterday."  I said, "Where are you from?"  She said, "Ohio."  I asked, "What part?"  She said, "Cincinnati."  Coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous.  She's not Mary.  I want to find her.

  
  

  As far as that GE Aircraft Engines Headquarters goes, I do have a personal family connection to it as well.  When my dad moved to Cincinnati, his first job was at GE Aircraft Engines in Evandale.  Eventually, he would switch jobs and work at Procter and Gamble.  He would at times be the Union Stewart

  
  

  I wrote a blog on 6/2/15 called Cumberland Blues.  That's when God really began connecting so many understandings for me.  Earlier this year, Danny Junior committed suicide.  Three  months  later, Big Danny got kicked in the head by a cow and died.  Uncle Paul died quickly of Pancreatic Cancer.  I nicknamed his wife, Aunt Roberta, Built to Last.  She is reminds me so much of my real mother, Diana. I gave her this nickname, because soon after Paul died, she had a stroke and was hospitalized for 8 weeks.  She worked hard to rehabilitate herself to get back to be with her 3 dogs.  She has no children of her own.  She had to put her favorite dog, Danny down after Paul died.  She loved that dog.

  
  

  (9/10/15 - Space - Time)  Since I just wrote about Cumberland Blues and my real mother, Diana, I should also include my two younger adopted brothers, Michael (Loveland) and Alex's (Cincinnati) mother.  She also lives in Burnside.  Her name is also Diana.  I remember her before Michael and Alex were born.  I always loved Diana.  She, like many in our family had some of her own issues with addiction.  My dad (Not Fade Away) and my stepmother Marilynn (American Beauty) wanted to have children, but could not.  Since Diana was struggling, she made a very loving choice to allow my dad and Marilynn to adopt them.  I got two awesome little brother as a result.  And, we are blood cousins.  

  
  

  

  Michael, Diana, Alex

  
  

  
  

  I believe Michael knew that Diana was his real mother but I'm not sure that Alex was too sure.  He asked me after we left, "Was that my real mother?"  I, of course, said "yes".  I'm glad that not only did we get to go down and spend time with Uncle Danny on our trip to Burnside, Kentucky, but we also got to spend some time with their real mother.  

  
  

  Diana's days are numbered.  She has lung cancer and tumors on her brain.  She's a Good person who like many in our family had some tough times.  I love Diana.  God loves Diana.  Her daughter, Diana Marie posted this on Facebook today:

  
  

  

  "Hold my hand mom I'm right here"

  It's been a hard year for our family.  I have been strengthened so much since I wrote Cumberland Blues.  The Universe just started connecting some amazing understandings for me.  It's the hard times that make us stronger.  I am back to the understanding that I don't regret anything that I have done or that has happened.  Without those times, I could not be where I am today.

  
  

  
  

  (9/15/15 - Space - Time)  This morning I sent Diana Marie, who is Diana's daughter a message on Facebook:

  
  

  

  
  

  I love Diana!

  
  

  

  

  Peace!

  

  (9/17/15 - Space - Time)

  

  It made me so happy to see that Michael went down to Burnside to see Diana.  On Michaels left is his real Grandmother, Wanda.  Wanda is my real Grandmother, Kathleen's sister.  Their mother was my Great Grandma Love.  It's like I wrote in Cumberland blues, Love is in my soul.

  

  
  

  (9/23/15 - Space - Time)  I just called my Aunt Sheila (Aunt Eli)  I learned a lot more from Aunt Sheila just now.  I was on the phone with Sheila and at 6:22 PM, my Aunt Donna called on the other line to tell me that Diane died.  It's sad to hear, but God has assured me there is a heaven.  I hadn't talked to Sheila and over a year.  Apparently I called her at an important moment.  I seem to do that lately.  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  7:11 PM  I just took that photo to remember Diane.  Then, I heard Diane's voice in my head.  She said to tell all of her family that she loves them and that she'll be up there watching over all of them.  In the middle of her explaining this:

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  (10/5/15 - Steve Earle just said he would like to dedicate that song The Revolution Starts Now to my mothers release!  God is so amazing to our family.  God loves!  Diana who just died a couple of weeks ago's voice in my head just said "STEVE EARLE IS A ROCK STAR!")  

  
  

  I love when the little hummingbirds come around.  And, they seem to show up at all the right moments.  And, the foxes are back!  

  
  

  I'll write about that sometime below.  On December 24, 2014 I published Lost in my Mind.  Below is an excerpt:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Seeing as though I don't have a lot of money I made a hummingbird feeder using a shot glass and some of the art supplies people bought me while I was in the hospital. Art is in my soul.  I was noticing how hummingbirds investigate every porch in this highrise building. Susan is a vegitarian because she loves animals. I also love animals and because of Susan, I too am a vegitarian. I thought making a little hummingbird feeder may attract them. I photographed it and sent the photograph to Susan and posted it on Facebook. I never saw a hummingbird come to my feeder.

  
  

  
  

  

  My homemade hummingbird feeder.

  
  

  
  

  My 43^rd birthday was on December 7th. It was a good birthday. I took care of myself. More importanly, I didn't use! Susan bought me a hummingbird feeder for my birthday. I hung it and called Susan. Within 10 minutes, while I was on the phone with Susan, a hummingbird showed up! I was so happy! Susan was so happy! If I'm happy and little hummingbirds are happy, Susan is happy. This makes me even happier!

  
  

  

  This is the hummingbird feeder Susan bought me for my birthday.

  

  
  

  I took this one at 7:22. Diane, we actually call her Gay, just found out she had tumors in her brain on September 8th.  She went quick.  Our family has suffered a lot of loss this year.  Uncle Danny, Danny Junior, Uncle Paul and now my 2nd cousin and Michael and Alex's real mother, Diana. My friend Chris (Kid Rock) who was my teammate at Loveland High School (The Land of Love) also died.  We have also had some close calls.  Uncle Paul's wife, Roberta (Built to Last) had a stroke and was in the hospital for 8 weeks.  Roberta is my mother, Diana's sister.  

  
  

  Aunt Sheila tolled me that Uncle Bill (Uncle Chevelle) was in the hospital for pneumonia and influenza at the beginning of April.  5 days after he got out, her colon ruptured and she had to have emergency surgery.   Sheila is 62 and had never been in the hospital.  When I called Marilynn to let her kwow about Gay, she told me that my Uncle Chuck had his colon rupture in June.  Marilynn said we almost lost him.  Chuck is Marilynn's sister, Cindy's husband.  He is a retired fireman.

  
  

  I guess being lost in my addiction and confused about all of this loss meant I wasn't aware of just how much more was really going on.  I may have been lost, but God was always with me.  It took a new moon and a meteor shower on 8/13/15 for me to firmly discover who I really am.  I am so strong in my recovery.  Thank you God. 

  
  

  I called Sheila to ask about my Aunt Elizabeth who died in 1979.  She believed she died in December.  My Grandpa Beaty, Buster, died 2/15/79.  Everyone always tells me I look like Buster.  I do remember Elizabeth.  I remembered her not being all there.  I asked Sheila about her situation and she told me that she finished school early because she had a high IQ.  She was getting ready to go to college.  She had to have her tonsils removed and they gave her too much anesthesia and it damaged her brain.

  
  

  Apparently, Danny Junior was in the hospital just before he committed suicide.  I've heard my Aunt Kathy, who I already nicknamed below, Aunt Miami (8/26/15  Space - Time.  In other words, I'm writing this after I wrote what I already wrote below.  I'm getting away from nicknames again.  Susan said she was having a hard time keeping up with the nicknames.  Still, it's amazing how so many nicknames connected so many Godly understandings).  

  
  

  I heard that Kathy was trying to talk him out of suicide.  Apparently, we didn't know what was wrong with him.  Voices in my head told me he also had Pancreatic Cancer.  Danny Juniors voice to be exact.  I still get a little confused about voices, but all that has been connected by my nine years of writing is undeniable.  

  
  

  One night, Danny Juniors voice tried to talk me out of going The Presidio one night.  I also had President Obama's voice in my head that night.  I went to Baker Beach, but things felt pretty dark.  Another night, President Obama's voice talked me out of going to The Golden Gate Bridge.  I was considering suicide again.  That bridge has become biblical in so many ways.  I have written how I went to the Top of the World by getting to go to the top of the South Tower.  I'll write more below, but for now I would like to point out that the steel for that bridge was built in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

  
  

  :

  I have another friend who I will nickname The Greatest Story Ever Told.  He was for a while St. Stephens sponsee.  So when you consider our recovery family, he was my sponsee brother.  He has a new sponsor these days, but he's still my brother.  Or, I guess I should say my sister now.

  
  

  He was at Walden House Outpatient for a while.  He's a great human being.  One day were exchanging our "hells angel" experiences.  I told him about the times when I was walking down the street tweaking, and the voices in my head would sometimes tell me that a hells angel was approaching.  Minutes later, a hells angel would ride by on his Harley and crank the throttle as he passed.  It was eerie.

  
  

  He told me about the time that he was tweaking and went out to the Golden Gate Bridge.  He walked out onto that beautiful bridge that crosses over the water way known as The Golden Gate knowing his intentions.  He was going to jump.  When he got out there, he decided, "I might as well go out of this world the way I came into this world."  He took off all of his clothes.  It didn't take long for The Golden Gate Bridge Authority Police Department to show up and talk him out of it.  He was 5150'd.  

  
  

  Section 5150 is a section of the California Welfare and Institutions Code (WIC) which authorizes a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a person suspected to have a mental disorder that makes him or her a danger to him- or herself, a danger to others, and/or gravely disabled.  (Source Wiki)

  
  

  I explained to The Greatest Story Ever Told how I jumped off of that parking garage because of Armageddon was going to occur on 4/1/13.  I was going to a never ending hell.  At the time, I had no idea just how much that really fit into my world.  He explained to me that it wasn't like that.  He said I would keep coming back when I died to get it right.  He basically explained reincarnation.  I never really thought of reincarnation.  I've, of course heard of it.  

  
  

  The Greatest Story Ever Told and I both have sex issues.  I am so addicted to women's bodies.  When I have used and been with a man, I wanted to be the female.  I'll explain more below, but for now I'll point out that The Greatest Story Ever Told is now going through the transition to become a female.  

  
  

  As far as that beautiful Golden Gate Bridge being symbolic and sacred ground to me I wrote in my blog titled Top of the World:

  
  

  
  

  The one thing that was always there was The Golden Gate Bridge - the bridge that I had watched countless documentaries about.  It is a bridge that loved ones bought me books about.  It is the bridge that my dreams were based upon.  People thought that bridge couldn’t be built.  Eleven men died building that bridge.  That bridge seems to have taken on life of its own.  Over a thousand people have chosen to end their lives on the Golden Gate Bridge.  In my darkest times, I thought I might end my life in the woods out by that bridge.  I wasn’t planning on jumping.  For my own sick reasons I’d rather not discuss, I thought I would cut my wrists to end it all.  I sometimes even carried razor blades in my backpack.  The truth is, I knew I could never go through with it.  It was just too final.  I didn’t want to hurt Susan like that either.  Still, I sometimes feared that I might somehow go through with it if I was really out of my mind.

  The Golden Gate Bridge was supposed to represent beautiful things to me.  It made me think of all that this city was supposed to be to me.  It made me think about how I got my dream job out here.  It made me think of how I was living in this beautiful place.  It made me think of Susan.  I saw dozens of shooting stars while out there.  My wish was always the same.  “God, please let me quit using this drug.  Please let me live a normal life with my wife”, who I always cared about – even when I was out there for days at a time losing my mind.  I use to see couples walking down the beach holding hands.  This made me so sad.  I cried so many times out there.  I wasn’t here to live that sick and insane life.  I could not get out of the insanity however.  I could not stop using.  It’s hard to explain why, but once I am in the grips of my addiction it is hard to escape.

  The Greatest Story Ever Told is, of course, a Wharf Rat.  I considered another nickname, but then thought there might be a Grateful Dead song that that mentioned Moses. I did a Google search and The Greatest Story Ever Told popped up.   I really didn't remember that was the song with lyrics about Moses.  I honestly wasn't sure if any Grateful Dead song's mentioned Moses.   Once I listened to it, I remembered it.  And, it fits perfectly.

  
  
  

  Moses come ridin' up on a quasar

  
  
  

  His spurs were jingling, the door was ajar

  
  

  His buckle was silver, his manner was bold

  
  

  And I asked him to come in out of the cold

  His brain was boiling, his reason was spent

  
  
  

  His motto is nothing is borrowed, nothing is lent

  
  

  He ask me for mercy, I gave him a gun.

  
  

  He said these things just got to be done

  
  
  

  Abraham and Isaac sitting on a fence

  
  

  You'd get right to work if you had any sense

  
  

  You know the one thing we need is a left-hand monkey wrench.

  I have recently began understanding that San Francisco is today's Jerusalem for my understanding.  I've recently read that their would be a New Jeruselum.  I also know that the Grateful Dead once played the Great Pyramids in Egypt.  I have so much more to write about Pyramids.  For now, I will write, once again, I am amazed at how The Universe is being personally understood.  It is currently 5:14 AM on 9/16/15 (Space - Time).  I just searched, "When did the Grateful Dead play Egypt?"

  The Grateful Dead only played three concerts in Egypt in their fifty-year history — September 14, 15, and 16, 1978. The shows were performed very close to the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid. A total lunar eclipse occurred during the third concert.  (Source Wiki)  

  
  

  I might as well point out that Wiki originally said "thirty-year history".   I know I just attended The 50th Anniversary, so I edited Wiki by updating it to "fifty-year history".  I guess anyone can do this.  I guess that could make the Wiki source questionable, however, it seems every time I understand something, Wiki matches pretty good.  

  I guess what I am really amazed about once again is how on this date, 9/16/15 which was exactly 37 years ago, The Grateful Dead played at The Great Pyramid in Giza.  There was a total lunar eclipse that occurred on September 16 which was their 3rd concert.  Since numbers keep matching, I should point out that The Great Pyramid of Giza was built 4500 years ago.  My mother was born in 1945. I found her dying when she was 37.  She was also born on the 7th of February.  I was born on the 7th of December.  I have written for years about how  always noticed the number 3.

  
  

  While I'm on the subject of mother, it's important that I write about something else I learned today.  Remember how I wrote about my "recovery" family in Althea?   I wrote:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  New Years Eve was really Good for me. First, I went to a recovery meeting for Deadheads. I was able to share something so important that I can share in an anonymous meeting. I'm trying to keep it that way, so I try not to use too many terms from such a group. In such a group, a person chooses a person who has been clean for a while to help them and guide them through their recovery. The person who does that for me I'll call St. Stephen. St. Stephen also has a person who does that for him. I'll call him Fire on the Mountain. This puts Fire on the Mountain in my recovery family. He's equivalent to my Grandfather. Or as I learned from my hillbilly Kentucky side of the family, he's my Papa! 

  
  

  
  

  I think I'm allowed to write that St. Stephen is called my sponsor in a 12 step recovery.  That would make him my recovery father, if you will.  I learned later this morning while at Walden House that today, 9/16/15 is also St. Stephen's wife's birthday! I guess she is kind of the equivalent my recovery mother in our 12 step family.  Her nickname is Stella Blue.

  
  

  After I got exited from City Team in 2012, St. Stephen and Stella Blue took me in for a while.  I did some couch surfing with my NA family until I got back to work.  They, like me, are cat people.  They have a few  cats of their own and also foster cats.   St. Stephen's wife earned the nickname Stella Blue because it is a Grateful Dead song and they have cat named Stella Blue.   I published See the World on 8/11/15.  Below is an excerpt:

  
  

  
  

  Stella Blue is the young, curious and playful one

  
  

  
  

  The old strays are getting used to the new stray.  My adopters call me their two legged stray.  They said I was helping by "keeping them from getting a dog."  Like I said, "Anyway I can help!" 

  
  

  
  

  I have officially been back at Walden House Outpatient for one week and two days.  While at Walden House this morning, I learned something else about 9/16/15. 

  Some of the Care Coordinators will have someone in the program read horoscopes during our morning meeting.  The past two mornings, they have asked a patient to lead the group.   Since no one else would volunteer, I did.  I like leading the group.  Someone was always picked to get up and lead our groups at 815 (Walden House Inpatient).  After a client, who is a deadhead, read all the horoscopes, he looked to me to move on with the group.   Then, the Care Coordinator asked, "Aren't you going to ask if it is someone's birthday?"  It was his birthday. His name is Robert.  My dad and my brothers names are Robert.  People call(ed) them Bob or Bobby.  When I published Althea on 1/1/15, I thought my clean date was going to be 12/30/14.  That's my dad's birthday.   

  Since I'm on the Bob or Bobby topic, I should share with you that Mack showed back up at Walden House today.  It was his first day back.  The last time I saw Mack was at Jerry Garcia Day in 2014.  It has been over a year.  Back when Jerry was alive, Susan and I said we were Bobby fans.  We, of course loved Jerry, but felt Bob deserved more credit! We deadheads had our ways of loving them.  Some people were in "the Phil zone".  I, like Bob, am also a rhythm guitar player.  My friend Mack was with The Grateful Dead's sound company, Ultra Sound.  On 3/31/14,  I wrote Let Love Rule.    Below is an excerpt:

  I also love being at Wally World's outpatient program.  Recovery is full of so many good people.  One of my favorite new friends is now blind.  His blindness happened in a using related accident years ago. I will use a nickname since he is in recovery.  However, I promise you his real name fits even better to this really cool story.  He chose his nickname.

  Mack worked for Ultra Sound.  Ultra Sound is the sound company for the Grateful Dead.  He has so many good stories to tell.  The other day, he was wearing a shirt with an image of a microphone on it with little zig-zags lines coming out like it was making sound.  I noticed the shirt and really liked it, but did not get the opportunity to ask him about it.  He was talking about something else.  And, knowing he'd been blind for a while, I wasn't sure how long he had it.  I knew he must have known what it was of course since he's a sound guy.

  
  

  Later, as I was unlocking my bike outside and getting ready to leave he said, "Oh, Dave, I wanted to tell you about this shirt."  I had wanted to ask about it anyway, so I of course was ready to hear.  He said that he was being his  very talkative self while in the recording studio with The Grateful Dead.  He said that Bob Weir came up to him and gave him this shirt with a mic on it.  Mack appreciated it of course.  Bob then told Mike that it has a mic on it because he talked to much and needed to be quiet!

  
  

  (10/5/15)  - Mack's real name is Mike.  He's a voice in my head and he's been my soldier or my right hand man through out these lasts few weeks.  I guess you could call him my roadie!  He roadied for the Grateful Dead for 17 years.

  
  

  Mack laughed quite a bit about this.  It was funny.  He does talk a lot. And that's one of the reasons I really like this guy.  I think he may be our bands sound guy.  He is blind now, so I'm not sure what he could do on the sound board, but I'm sure his presence will help.  The last guy  we had from Ultra Sound really helped.  He worked for Dave Matthews Band.  I also met him at Wally World.  He, like many of our band members struggles to stay clean.  We haven't seen him for a while.  Unfortunately, we've lost our drummer.  He too struggles.  I did see him on the street last week at 2:00AM.  Obviously, we were both up to no good.  Our bass player, like our singer and guitar player (me) also struggle staying clean and miss practice sometimes.

  It sounds like The Alano's may have a sound guy!  I figured I might pick up some musicians at Walden House.  Unfortunately, we lost another drummer I met at Walden House.  I called him Alano's Drummer.  He was our drummer when we recorded my song, Live.  That blog disappeared.  I think it's new title will be Live Life.  It will be a future blog.   The Alano's have been practicing that one.  God knows it meant a lot to me.

  (9/23/15 - Space - Time) Last week, I seemed to recruit some people from The Alano's.  I already wrote below about our base player who was not able to make it.  I hope he will this week.  We did have a couple of people show up.  First, Cookie showed up.  Cookie is her real name and she gave me permission.  Last week, I called her Cookie Monster so I guess that's good nickname.  

  I love Cookie.  Everyone at Walden House loves Cookie.  She's so fun to be around.  Earlier this year when I reenrolled at Walden House she was there.  My first day back she said, "I need to get your number so you don't disappear!"  I kept disappearing.

  Cookie would graduate and end up relapsing herself.  On her first day back she said, "I need to get some numbers."  I was the first to say. "I need your number Cookie!"  I got it.  It was so good to see Cookie Back.  Walden House sits on the corner of 13th and Mission.  The building sits on almost half of and city block.  At the other side of Walden House is Erie Street.  Lake Erie is on the North side of Ohio.  Cleveland is on Lake Erie.  I've written a lot about Cleveland.  Marilynn is from Cleveland.  Although we didn't actually get in, my first Grateful Dead show I went to was in Cleveland.  A couple of says ago, I noticed something:

  HEY COOKIE

  (Unfortunately I can't find this photo and I need to get this to The Chronicle today.  However, on Eerie Street and Mission there is a sticker that says Hey Cookie!)

  
  

  I thought this a great sign.  It was good to see Cookie.  I told Cookie about the sign that meant we were both where we needed to be.  This morning, on my way to Walden House when I was less than a block away I noticed something else!  We need Cookie!  We need Cookie as a back up singer too!

  
  

  

  Speaking of back up singers, we have another back up singer.  Let's call her Angel Baby. Her real name is heavenly.  Let's call her mom Eve.  She just might have once been Eve.  And, Eve told me that when she walked up to the door of The Alano Club, she found a $5 bill.  She said it was a good sign.  We need Angel Baby too!

  
  

  (9/23/15 - Space - Time)  I've smoked a couple of cigarettes today.  I had ten days without smoking, but I had a really stressful day a couple of days ago and found one laying on the ground smoking so I picked it up and smoked it.  I won't get into who was stressing me out, but I'm working really hard at my recovery and helping people and someone just stressed me out.  

  
  

  Either way, last night I went out looking for another cigarette.  I found one, but it was with one.  Another one of my friends from Walden House who said she would be our keyboard player just happened to sitting outside of Fox Plaza.  I said "hey, Junia."  I then went and sat next to her.  She had only 7 cigarettes left, so I, of course, gave her 50 cents.  

  
  

  We sat and talked about the band for a while.  She said to me, "I love when you share at Walden House."  I love when she does too, but she really helped me believe in myself by saying that.  After all, I have been sharing about new moons and meteor showers!  I know I have lived the Book of Revelations, but it helps me a lot to be at Walden House and gather so much support.  God keeps sending angels our way.

  
  

  I remember her talking about her birthday last week.  I couldn't remember if it were her clean birthday or her belly button birthday, but it really caught my attention.  We talked for a while outside of Fox Plaza.  We eventually got to the topic of her birthday.  Junia was born on December 17th.  Althea was born on December 17th.  I published Lola Montez on December 29, 2014.  Below is an excerpt:

  
  

  
  

  I have had so many reasons to never use. December 17^th was one of the best reasons yet. Last night, I was made aware of another reason God gave me that that day mattered. I used on December 16^th. I think it spilled over until December 17^th. Meaning I think I might have used past midnight. December 18^th is the clean date I will claim. I believe my hospital visit was no accident. They never are. That date means more than my dumb addict ass could allow it to. 

  
  

  I think about Lola Montez even after my hospital visit. I'm writing about it. I'm not looking for her. I could probably find her if I'm not high. I was very high that night. I can't use. I can't. This is the first time I have posted two blogs in a row with out using in between for almost a year! That's pathetic. Writing helps me. It does. Thank you for reading. I mean that.

  
  

  I would use that night and my clean date would then become my dad's birthday, December 30th.  Since Junia and I were sitting outside of Fox Plaza, I should point out that while I was in the hospital just before the holidays, Fox Plaza caught on fire.  30 units were damaged.  I have written about the number 3.  This includes multiples of 3 - especially 30.  Especially Pier 30.  Althea's birthday is on December 17th.  I published Althea on 1/1/15.  Below are excerpts from Althea.

  
  

  
  

  New Years Eve was really Good for me. First, I went to a recovery meeting for Deadheads. I was able to share something so important that I can share in an anonymous meeting. I'm trying to keep it that way, so I try not to use too many terms from such a group. In such a group, a person chooses a person who has been clean for a while to help them and guide them through their recovery. The person who does that for me I'll call St. Stephen. St. Stephen also has a person who does that for him. I'll call him Fire on the Mountain.  This puts Fire on the Mountain in my recovery family. He's equivalent to my Grandfather. Or as I learned from my hillbilly Kentucky side of the family, he's my Papa! 

  
  

  
  

  I can still hear my dads side of the family saying “Papa” in their hillbilly Kentucky southern accent! I'm from Cincinnati! My dad moved up from the hills of Kentucky when he was a teenager. Cincinnati is where the North begins! I love Kentucky, but I'm not a Southerner. And, I ain't no hillbilly ya'all! Okay, it is in my blood. But now, I'm so West Coast.

  
  

  After the recovery meeting, I was able to enjoy something I wrote in my last blog that would always be in my soul – music. I was able to play music with the lead guitar player for the band I'm in, The Alanos. I will call him Alanos Lead.  Fire on the Mountain joined Alanos Lead and I on drums. We of course started out with some Grateful Dead songs. We did Man Smart (Woman Smarter) and Fire on the Mountain. I love those songs. The Grateful Dead played Man Smart (Woman Smarter) at so many Grateful Dead shows Athiest Angel and I attended.  Atheist Angel was and still is quite the women's activist. We loved that song. We danced away every time it was coincidently played! Perhaps Atheist Angels nickname will be Man Smart (Woman Smarter)!  That's it, at least for this blog.   

  
  

  I never really thought of it when I wrote this, but so much more has happened since I did that I can clearly see that while I was in the hospital, and there was a fire at Fox Plaza damaging 30 units, there really was a Fire on the Mountain.

  
  

  Junia loves music.  She's going to be our keyboard player.  Junia's loves the song Althea.  She told me she was just listening to it.  Althea's birthday is December 17th.  Junia's birthday is December 17th.  Not only is Junia's belly button birthday is December 17th, but her clean birthday is December 17th.  She went into Walden House inpatient December 17th, 2013.  She has 13 months clean.  

  
  

  St. Stephens clean birthday is December 17th.  He has 13 years clean.  His bellybutton birthday is December 7th.  My bellybutton birthday is December 7th.  He's from Ohio.  I'm from Ohio.  He's a photographer.  I'm a photographer.  I have lived in San Francisco for 13 years.  I always remember reading Revelations Chapter 13 when I was 5.  I jumped off of 5 story parking garage on 1/15/13 because there was going to be a meteor shower that would end the world on 4/1/13.  My clean date is 8/13/15.  It was a new moon and there was a meteor shower.

  
  

  Junia went on to tell me that she has 7 siblings.  Her 4 brothers are all named after apostles.  Junia was said to be the only female apostle in the bible.  Junia recited the entire Psalms 1 to me by memory!

  
  

  
  

  
  
  

  1Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.  ungodly: or, wicked

  
  

  2But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

  3And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.  wither: Heb. fade

  4The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

  5Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

  6For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

  
  

  
  

  I love Junia!  We are here for each other!  Before she left she gave me half of her cigarette and with a huge smile on her face and said, "Can I have a hug?" Of course!

  
  

  Now that I have let the cat out of the bag about who Althea actually is, below is an excerpt of how Althea ended on 1/1/15:

  
  

  
  

  I will do my best to keep this blog anonymous for everyone but me.  Music is in my soul. I ended last year the way I want to start and keep this year. In the spirit of anonymity, I will name this blog another one of my favorite Grateful Dead songs. I will name it Althea. Coincidentally enoungh, this song is on a Grateful Dead album called, Go to Heaven.  Even if I wasn't trying to be anonymous I couldn't put into words how much this song and this blog means. 

  Happy New Year!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I never knew that song was about me.  I'll explain more about how I learned in my next blog, Estimated Prophet - Throwing Stones - Understanding Althea.

  (Space - Time - 9/16/15)  Last week during a break on my first day, I was sitting next to another client.  He began reading out loud with what to me sounded like a Russian accent.  He read, "Unto thee, O God, do we give thanks, unto thee do we give thanks: for that thy name is near thy wondrous works declare...."  He went on for while.  I eventually asked him what verse he was reading.  He said, Psalms 75.  It's been said that David wrote half of Psalms.  That means he wrote 75.  We got to talking and I learned he plays guitar.  I asked, "Can you play base?"  The Alano's have a base player!

  
  

  A couple of days later, we were going around the room checking in.  I was talking about my jumping off a building because there was going to be meteor shower on 4/1/15.  I said it was to be Armageddon and I was to go to a never ending hell.  I said I how my nine years of writing keeps bouncing all over itself and reconnecting to itself and to the Bible.  I never really read the Bible much.  When I was finished, the man with the Russian accent started talking.  He asked me to share my writing with him because he too is a writer.  I asked, "Where are you from?"   Knowing he sounded like he was from Russia.  He said, "Russia".  

  
  

  Before I move on with the part about Russia, I should include a excerpt from a blog I published on 9/23/13 titled Batman - Under the Bridge.

  
  

  
  

  I was going to write. Then, I wasn't going to write. Then, I decided I needed to take care of some of my work, which I did. Then, I went to see if I could run into my new friend, lets call her Erotic Russia. I guess I'm back to nicknames. Can they really hurt?

  
  

  Later in that blog I would write:

  

  
  

  

  

  I have my own place now! I have six months clean today. I live on Broadway in North Beach. North Beach is a really cool neighborhood. It is San Francisco's Little Italy and I am also a block away from Chinatown. It's going to be interesting for me to live on the street I do. I live above The Garden of Eden. 

  
  

  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  

  "They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway"

  
  

  How ironic is that. While it was probably more about this blog than anything it was my taking a bite of that "forbidden fruit" that is what really got the ball rolling for me to get exited from that Christian program. It was my decision to be with My Little Dark Angel (I changed her nickname. I actually like Dark Angels.) that led to the other chain of events that led me to where I am today – Shangri-La?

  
  

  I have to finish this tomorrow. I'm tired. I think I'll sleep naked – because I can. Too much information? You have no idea what's it's like to have privacy after a year and half of living on the street or with people. You'd probably want to sleep naked too. Perhaps I'm inspired to do so by all the strip clubs and Exotic Russia's photos. I met another photographer in North Beach last night. I thought about writing earlier but decided I should look for her instead. I found her.

  
  

  And then later in that blog I would write:

  
  

  Then there was my new friend, I'm just going to call her hippie chick for now, because that's what she is. She was my first customer to ever pay me in sand dollars!  Actually, I ask her for some sand dollars. She is a professional beach comber. She has the coolest collections. My friend Good Fella from Soul Assistance ask me the other day if I knew where to get a sand dollar. I did! Hippie Chick had said she would stop and visit me someday so I made her a deal. One of my photos for some sand dollars. She brought lots of cool sand dollars and even some crystals she mined. Somewhere in San Francisco she manages to mine crystals! She said she'd take me but she'd have to blind fold me. Sounds like fun! I love the photo she bought for herself with the sand dollars!  It was perfect for her!

  
  

  

  
  

  Saturday was my best day. I even sold something from online to my Fun Friend. She is so nice. She even made me lunch when I delivered her photo to her on Sunday. I met here at Brainwash a couple of months ago. I'm looking for a new Brainwash.  Saturday, one of the new street artists ask me if I would trade him my photo of the tagged Muni bus for a shirt. He knew I loved his shirts! He has so many cool ones, but I had to pick this one!

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  This is the photo I traded.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I took that busted up and tagged Muni bus photo in South Beach.  This was not far from the collapse dock I used to go under and use that I wrote about Contrails.  As you will read below, I was the secretary of a Grateful Dead Recovery Meeting.  That meeting is called Wharf Rats.  Later in that blog I would write:

  
  

  My friend Gina, who I guess I'll continue to call Gina is always trying to be the voice of reason to me. She's pretty good at it too – party pooper! I'm just teasing – she does give good advice when I go astray in lady department. She's actually been a really good friend to me through all this insanity of mine over the years, but especially lately. And, she doesn't seem to judge me for my messed up ways. She does says, “Oh Geez” a lot! She's the one who said, “Sex could lead to drugs, drugs could lead to death!” It sure sounds less fun that way.

  So when I text her that I had six months clean on Monday, She said, “Your a super hero!” I loved that of course! It went straight to my head. That's what I'm shooting for. In fact, the other night, when I was feeeeeling loooonlely” Poor thing. I went to Adler's Museum Cafe to see if Erotic Russia was there – she was. She's always there.  Right as I walked in the door with my batman shirt on the batman song came on the jukebox! I felt way to cool to be me. It made me laugh. I'm such a dork really.

  
  

  So last night I went to my favorite recovery meeting and collected my 6 month chip. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I was looking forward to picking up that chip from that meeting. I did feel like a super hero! I've been the secretary of that meeting for the past few weeks because the secretary has been away. Perhaps I'll be the permanent secretary someday! I'd like that. Now that I have six months clean, that is possible. I have never stayed clean this long since I was twelve years old. Prior to this, 4 months was all I could ever get.

  
  

  I mentioned that tagged Muni Bus being in South Beach.  I also mentioned that I was secretary of The Wharf Rats. That meeting was at The Alano Club where our band practices.  When I was underneath these collapsed docks, I didn't even have a sponsor and was not in 12 step recovery.  I had no idea what The Wharf Rats even were.  Still, in 2006 I wrote:

  
  

  Months later I was doing a lot of walking around South Beach.  South Beach is an old industrial neighborhood in San Francisco.  It is the neighborhood where The San Francisco Giants baseball stadium (whatever there calling it these days) is located.  It is an up and coming neighborhood.  Currently, the neighborhood is a contrast of many old industrial buildings, docks that are falling apart and new high-rise condos under construction.

  
  

  As my world began to shrink, I found myself walking to this part of town instead of all the way out to Lands End, Ocean Beach or the Presideo.  Instead of trees, caves and beaches, I found myself hanging out under highway overpasses, in railroad tunnels and under docks.  Things were definitely less pleasant and pretty scary sometimes.  I also know what Robert Hunter (a song writer for the Grateful Dead) meant by Wharf Rat.  Wharf rats are everywhere under the docks.  Some of them are “rats the size of cats.”

  
  

  

  There was some cool artwork under this particular dock.  Still wasn't the greatest home a person could have.

  
  

  

  

  I use to climb up and over those metal bars and stay in that "cage" .  I took this from a moving Cal Train I was on about a month ago on my way to Santa Cruz.  It's just before the train goes into the main tunnel.

  
  

  Before I move on, I will add that back in 2002 when I interviewed for the San Francisco Chronicle, I stayed at a Best Western at the Corner of 7th and Mission.  The Chronicle is at the Corner of 5th and Mission.  The night I got here, I was hungry.  When I walked up to Market Street to get something to eat, I passed some homeless guy on 7th between Mission and Market saying, "Rat's the size of cats. Rat's the size of cats...."  

  
  

  I didn't know what he was talking about.  On the way back, I looked into this huge hole in the ground which was the foundation where they were getting ready start building the new San Francisco Federal Building.  Or, as I would eventually call it - New World Order Headquarters.  

  

  San Bruno Parking Garage

  

  
  

  On 1/15/13 I walked from North Beach from where I was living above The Garden of Eden which was in the shadow of the Trans American Pyramid to San Bruno by the San Francisco International Airport.   My soul was to be consumed by the devil in The San Bruno Mountains.  That never happened, so I went to the tallest structure I could find which was a parking garage above a BART train station.  I jumped from the 5th floor.  On 2/14/13, I published Someday.  Below is an excerpt from it:

  
  

  
  

  Many are having a fund raiser for me this weekend.  I love these people so much.  Not because they are raising funds - just because they care.  I can make it with God alone, IF I DON'T SHOOT SPEED.  I could care less about the money. 

  
  

  The event is at Bocca Billiards in Milford:

  
  

  
  

   

  
  

  I never asked for it or expected it (especially plummeting 40 to 50 feet), but I'm glad I did - I guess.  I believe it's God's way of working.  I'm so confused.  I've started over so many times.  I wish I could figure all this out.  Someday.

  
  

  
  

  I was very confused about what had happened.  I didn't know if I fell, jumped or someone was chasing me.  The very next day after I wrote Someday , 2/15/13 which was one day before my benefit which was exactly one month after I jumped this happened in Russia:

  
  

  
  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  

  Since I'm writing about the Golden Gate Bridge being the suicide capital of the world and how The Greatest Story Ever Told went to The Golden Gate Bridge to jump one time, I should include how Hippie Chick once called me and ask me not to do such a thing.  The very next log I published on 2/18/13 was Friends and Lovers:

  
  

  
  

  A couple months ago she (I believe I called her Hippie Chick in previous blogs) was driving across The Golden Gate Bridge and traffic was very slow because someone was up on the rail about to jump off.  Her seeing this made her think of me and the next time we spoke, she told me to never do such a thing.  She said "So many people love you, please don't do something like that."  I told her I would never do something so final.  However, I didn't deny that just my shooting up was risking killing myself.  

  
  

  
  

  

  Not sure how she knew I had seen hundreds of shooting stars.  I guess she just knew.

  
  

  Later, I told Susan.  I told Susan how Hippie Chick and others, including Gina had recently told me how many people loved me.  This was hard for me to understand.  It kind of always has been  I've never felt that lovable. 

  
  

  Later, I told Susan.  I told Susan how Hippie Chick and others, including Gina had recently told me how many people loved me.  This was hard for me to understand.  It kind of always has been  I've never felt that lovable. 

  

   Added this photo later than blog also - after we all met.

  
  

  I get that people love people who harm themselves - addiction has been common in my family.  I get that people do love people who end it all for themselves.  I had a cousin hang himself - I love him.  I don't want to get to personal info about others very close to me in my life, but suicide was always "possible".

  
  

  It wasn't "suicide", but both my parents were addicts and both are dead.  Had they have stopped using....  Well, I believe they would have lived longer - this is just the nature of addiction.  Sometimes, addicts make the final sacrifice.

  
  

  My using always put me at risk of dying.  If I stop using life is a lot healthier and more guaranteed - that's for sure.  Yesterday, February 16th was the day of my fundraiser.  So many seemed to care and seemed so proud of me.  (I want them to believe in God - not me).   So many weren't aware of what caused my accident - including me, until yesterday. My friend, Lisa was helping me move hospitals and pulled out my bag of clothes from that "accident" the other day.  When she opened them, I saw a bunch of clothes that had been cut off of me and were bloody.  There were also EMT's there with me.  At that moment, I realized something.  "I jumped off that building."  It was the tallest thing in the neighborhood.  And, mainly being a parking garage, there was not a lot of traffic on the top floors.  I still had someone call a police officer though.  He was worried I may be trying to steal something.  I didn't tell him what my apparent motive was.  This all hurts me.

    

  I so badly did not want to kill myself, but I wouldn't ever let dark souls, like "The Big Bad Wolf" (this time), take me when I was in a secluded place.  Once I was in San Bruno Mountain on Christmas Eve trying to allow this to occur so better souls like Susan or her mother or her new husband or my older brother could have positive things occur for the rest of there lives and when they died.  I was so twisted.  And, I wouldn't call anyone.  Killing myself would only stop me from hurting more people and possibly stop something else bigger.  The voices in my head led me to believe something would occur on April Fools Day - Armageddon.  I believed it would happen in the form of a meteor shower.  All good souls on this earth would be going somewhere good of course.  One night, Christmas Eve, I was worried about dying the Big Bad Wolf's way, so I pulled out my knife and cut my wrists.  My knife was dull and I could hear children playing outside so I changed my mind about that way.  This is all so confusing to write for me - especially after so many have supported me.  The next few days I was grateful that attempt wasn't successful and dismissed it.

  
  

  None of this "End of the World" thinking sounded to good.  I was nearly homeless and wouldn't talk to people.  My death may have actually made sense.  Yesterday, after I realized my scary intentions, I read this online:

  
  

   Meteorite - not the end of the world - strikes Russia's Siberia

  A bus-sized meteor exploded over Russia's Ural Mountains, sparking speculation about everything from a missile attack to the end of the world. The shock waves smashed windows and damaged buildings.

  By Fred Weir | Christian Science Monitor

  
  

  Despite all the crazy warnings I had gotten that may have had something to them (possibly not),  I am starting to remember now, I so badly didn't want to kill myself.  This is becoming clear.  Like I said in previous blogs - I was very confused.  I still am a bit.  Shooting that drug just took me to a new level.   One of the last blogs I wrote before using said that if I shoot speed, I end up in hell on earth.  If I die while in hell on earth - I end up in hell is what I believed.  Dying was the tweaker "plan" (no plan) for about month.  Many who loved Susan sacrificed much for her.   Suicide was though.  Even when I'd get on the ledge, I'd get back off.  I'm pretty sure I took a running start and jumped over.  I attempted suicide.

  
  

  This was so hard for me to realize yesterday.  Especially with this wonderful fundraiser.  People care, love and believe in me.  I would like to say that I am being Truthful about this because I would never end my life if I weren't using.  Never.
  
  

  (9/20/15 - Space Time) Since we are on the subject of Russia, I should share something I realized today while at City Church.  First, let's not forget Erotic Russia and the Alano's Bass Player.  I may have called him Alanos Bass, but we changed are name last night at practice.  We are now Revelation.
  
  

  

  (9/20/15) 
  I met Paul's (Apostle Paul) wife, Liz, today at City Church.  She's very nice.  I saw her at the Night for City Hope Event, but had never met her.  She ask if I was knew.  I told her that in was in City Team in 2012.  She ask, "So you know Paul?"  I then said, "Yeah, I'm the guy who jumped off the 5 story building."  That cleared it up!  She said, "You have healed well."  I looked and Pointed up and said, "God is amazing!"

  
  

  During the sermon, Rev. Fred talked about Women not feeling beautiful as they age and how God made them beautiful.  I don't remember exactly what he was saying, but I remember him talking about Mary and Elisabeth.

  And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost

  
  

  - Luke 1:41

  I think I can say that I was up inside Mary near her womb when we were together.  I truly love Mary.  God Truly loves Mary.  Like I said, I will write a blog titled Angel - Song Remains the Same.  For now:

  

  It is also at the corner of 13th and Mission.  Right outside of Walden House.  "Signs, signs, everywhere is signs!"  I was inside of Mary this last time.  I've read that "fornication" is a problem in the book of Revelations.  On that same sidewalk just in front of Walden House is this message.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  That building on the right is Walden House.  Sex is not a crime.  Passion is hot wet.  "Erotic Jesus, lays with his Mary's" 

  
  

  
  

  (9/27/15 - Space - Time) I've struggled with cigarettes a bit lately.  On 8/29/15 I was searching for a cigarette on the ground like I did back in my days of being homeless.  While at the corner of 13th and Mission (Before I noticed what's above) I saw a package on the ground.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  I thought, "Now that's a sign!"  I continued for a walk.  I would walk all the way down Mission to 15th and then turn left.  I would then turn left on Minna Street  (The Street that Susan and I lived for 9 years at 7th Street) Right before I got to the corner of 14th, I noticed a bottle that said, "Spiritual Water".  

  
  

  
  

  It seemed mysterious.  Then, I looked over and there was a playing card.  This one was face down.  Years ago I wrote about how I used to play street poker.  I had a rule that if a playing card was face down, I would not turn it over.  If it was face up, I would make note of it.  I rarely found face cards.  I understood that if I found Aces, that was a bad sign.  The Ace of Spades meant the devil.  All 4 meant hell.  I'll write a lot more in Liberty (Revelations) Part II.  Below is an excerpt from Deal.

  
  

  
  

  What I read after I started writing this particular blog strongly connected playing cards.  I used to find playing cards lying on the streets of San Francisco years ago after I used and when I was walking around, tweaking.  They were coincidently enough on my walking path.  I basically played street poker, but I never bothered to pick the cards up.  I never saw aces.  I knew if I did, hell was drawing near.  One day, I found four aces in a row.  I picked them up!  

  
  

  One of the aces was lying right in front of my front doorstep.  Years ago, before Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog existed on BlogSpot, I wrote a blog titled Four of a Kind.   Below are the actual card I picked up that day.  It was eerie.

  

  "I been gambling here abouts 
  for ten good solid years.
  If I told you all that went down
  it would burn off both your ears"

  I may be insane, but whatever God is, God is reality.  God is amazing.  This blog is TRUE.  God is The Truth and The Truth is God.   This makes me happy.  Happiness is hard for someone like me to come by.  God is Good.  Good is God.  God is Love.  I Love God. And, I love music.  I love The Grateful Dead.

  
  

  
  

  I then noticed something else.  A playing card.  I have written that if I couldn't read the card, I wouldn't turn it over.   For some reason, I bent down and turned it over.  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I think it refers to child birth also. Reverend Fred's sermon was about child birth.  I wrote about how Michael was down visiting his real mother who's name is also Diana just a few days ago.  While Michael was there, he took a photo of this.  I love my Aunt Elizabeth:

  

  Michael took this while in Burnside.

  (9/21/15 - Space - Time)  This morning I took some more photos of the message at 13th and Mission while at Walden House.  My Aunt Elizabeth was a Beaty.  My dad was Bob Beaty.  He is my dad, but he is also an angel to me.  Still, as I wrote in Contrails:

  
  

  
  

  When I got back to San Francisco, I knew in my heart I was not going to let my dad’s death be what got me sober!  I know he would have wanted it that way, but I just couldn’t.  It didn’t seem fair.  I didn’t.

  
  

  
  

  I think it's fair that we could all call God our Dad.  I guess that's what is meant by "Heavenly Father."  With that said, I guess God is Dad #1 and my birth Dad is Dad #2.  This morning, I noticed something else written below "Elizabeth Mary Jane"

  
  

  

  
  

  And, since Elizabeth is a Beaty, she is on my Dad #2's side of the family.  As you can see, these signs are at 13th and Mission.  

  
  

  

  
  

  I'm wearing one of my bracelets again that my family had made up for people who attended my fundraiser after I attempted suicide.  I want to Live Life!  "I will Survive" are lyrics to the Grateful Dead song, Touch of Grey.  I wrote a blog titled Touch of Grey the day I found out Susan was pregnant with Althea.  I also wrote Dreamer - Touch of Grey while in Laguna Honda Hospital.  I didn't even remember writing that one.  I was on my way to meet Gina a few weeks ago and read it.  It's Revelations.  And, it was a bit of a touch of grey too!  Gina's butt is a big part of revelations.  Girls butts are beautiful!  

  
  

  I'll write about it below in He's Gone.  And, speaking of train stations and tall buildings, Gina's new boyfriend is an iron worker who is building The Trans Bay Terminal.  The site includes the Trans Bay Terminal Tower which will be the tallest building west of the Mississippi.  I mention the tallest building in Cincinnati and it's interesting height.   I published Dreamer - Touch of Grey on 4/2/13.  I wrote:

  
  

  
  

  And, I like Cincinnati's new tallest building.  Queen City Tower.  It's official height is 666 feet tall!  It's an interesting height for me, I must say.

  
  

  
  

  

  Queen City Tower is in the foreground.  The brown brick building to the left and in the background is the Carew Tower.  The Carew Tower at 574 feet, was the tallest building in Cincinnati for 80 years!  I worked in The Carew Tower until I moved to San Francisco 11 years ago.

  
  

  
  

  (Space - Time 9/22/15)  The Queen City Tower has a tiara on the roof.  Cincinnati is the Queen City of the West.  I just read that and noticed that number 80 showed up with that number 666 again. I will also write about an important bell with an interesting weight and date in which it was forged that I am personally connected too.  It's all about Liberty.  And, it's all about the year 2000.  Since I'm writing about bells and Liberty, I might as well write that I saw in The Chronicle that Pope Francis arrived in Philadelphia today.  I already wrote about Philadelphia a couple of weeks ago when I was writing to write Liberty.  That one is "Right to Liberty".

  
  

  I'll write more in He's Gone.  Gina is now dating a man building the Trans Bay Terminal and I once worked for the man who owns the Queen City Tower.  I guess I was starting to dream a little bit about Gina.  And, it sounds awfully similar to the first Touch of Grey.  Keep reading.  Gina is so cute and I do love her but when I was really confused and dreaming of my friend Gina, Mary was right in my path!  I have to find Mary.  I went looking for her tonight.

  I have written that Jane is the nickname I will use for a prostitute in a future blog titled Jane Say's to explain so much more about all I understand.  And, God understands.  When Mary and I were together, she was basically prostituting herself the way I did with Jane years ago.  Since I have to use a lot of versus below, I will write them in bold type.

  Johnathan 8 

  Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

  

  
  

   

  
  

  10 years ago, in that apartment above 800 Larkin, I shot meth for the first time.  The neighborhood is Little Saigon.  I've always said my personal hell began in Little Saigon - go figure.  I'll write more about it below and in the future.  For now, I would like to ad that, Jane didn't live there long.  That piss in the sink hotel was abandoned for many years.  That's rare in this city.  I noticed something on my way to City Hope on 9/18/15 .  It seems to have been remodeled and someone was moving in.  Good is happening!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  It's next to a strip club called Century.  I've never gone in there.  I've never been a strip club kind of guy.  However, I did stay in that Motel 6 and use.  I realized, that on our move out to San Francisco in 2002, we stayed in 3 Motel 6's along the way.  We drove out Interstate 80 and along the way stayed in Motel 6 - 6 - 6.  The final one was in Vallejo.  On July 20, 2012 I published Guardian, I wrote:

  
  

  
  

  Susan and I stayed in Vallejo the first few days we were in California until we found an apartment in the Lower Haight.  We had our dog Willie and our cat Lexie so we stayed in a Motel 6.  I drove past it today on the way back from the hospital.  It just brought back a lot of memories.

  
  

  Susan told me what she's going to name her daughter.  I loved it.  Let's put it this way - It would make a great blog some day.  Might Susan have chosen a song title to name her child?  Susan never wanted to be mother, but will be a great one. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I'm really going to embrace my role at CityTeam.  I may do more than most and complain about being "reeled in", but I am grateful for the things I do.  I do love helping people.  I do care about those guys.  I like being the lead at night so I can be there for and help the new guys.  

  
  

  I also like being our driver so I can pick up donations to help feed us and the needy in San Francisco.   I have recently been called an angel.  Sure beats feeling like the devil.

  
  

  Althea made an amazing blog "some day".  I never new that song was about me.  Almost word for word.  

  
  

  I told Althea I was feeling lost

  Lacking in some direction

  Althea told me upon scrutiny

  that my back might need protection....

  
  God's got my back.  In a much bigger way then the day I understood that blog was about me.  I explain that song word for word in my next blog, Estimated Prophet - Throwing Stones - Understanding Althea.  On 1/1/15, I published Althea.  I love that little girl.   I would learn so much about myself and God in the year 2015.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  ² And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

  
  

  
  

  ³ And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

  
  

  It seems Mary and I were destined to cross paths that night.  It was probably just after midnight.

  
  

  ⁴ They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

  
  

  Like I said, Mary basically prostituted herself when we were together.  Even though I was high, it was an amazing night.  When we were done, it was her eyes.  "Don't look in her eyes, you may fall and find the love of your life, heavenly...." 

  
  

  ⁵ Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

  
  

  I'm interpreting this in my modern language.  I guess it's fair to say we were "stoned".  I was tweaking!  Back when I prostituted myself, the only way I could ever be with a man was "stoned".  Again, I was tweaking.  There's a big difference.  I'll write how that all came about in Jane Says.  We've lived the life we've lived.  If you've not walked in our shoes, don't judge us.

  
  

  
  

  ⁶ This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

  

  
  

  
  

  I've written and photographed for so long how I receive many messages throughout my wanderings.  As I wrote in 

  Cumberland Blues:

  
  

  
  

  The day my Uncle Danny's life came to an end was Terrapin Stations birthday.  He was having a hard birthday.  Homelessness was becoming possible again, yet he only blamed himself.  I told him not to be so hard on himself.   After all, my Uncles Danny's life just came to an end.  It was a Good day stop using.  It was a Good day for a miracle, Right?  That's what recovering addicts call recovery birthdays.  I was confused.  Right?  Or is it, write?

  
  

  I used.  I got a serious message from "The Universe".  I need to always remember Uncle Danny's voice, "Write the short version."  That's impossible.  Forever happens.  Art and music is in my soul.  Love.  Music.  Smiling.  Voices.  Writing.  Laughter.  If not:

  
  

  

  This is the message I received that day when I chose to use. It was in front of my dealers building. The Universe knew where to find me.  We can't hide from The Truth.

  
  

  "Be not wise in thy own conceit:  fear God, and depart from evil.  For it shall be health to thy navel, and moistening to they bones."

  
  

  - Proverb 3:7-8

  
  

  It was written in chalk.  Iron, Steel and concrete outweigh chalk everyday!  However, art speaks.  It speaks The Truth.  Addiction is hell.  Freedom matters.  

  
  

  Music will always be in my soul.  Writing will always be in my soul.  It was very hard, but I wrote and did my dad's eulogy.  The circumstances were so confusing.  Addiction is so confusing.  Uncle Danny's life came to an end.  At the same time, miracles are happening.  

  
  

  Later in Cumberland Blues I wrote:

  
  

  While I was taking photos for a film project that my friend, I'll call Rochambeau, has put together about a  non-profit group called Project Open Hand that feeds many in San Francisco.  The film is for The LGBT Film Festival.   Rochambeau is in fact a miracle.  His 10 year clean birthday is June 7.  This film he made is a Good film for a Good project.  This non-profit group feeds many in San Francisco.  While I was at Mission Delores Park taking photos of the playground put in by two of the people who help start the non-profit organization, I was seriously considering all I had lost from using.  I was heading towards the playground and was thinking how so many of my memories have been bad ones.  I thought to myself, "I guess if I stay clean, they can be...."  And then I looked down:

  
  

  

  God is Good and Good is God.  That's my Truth.  God is The Truth and The Truth is God.  See where my Truth is coming from?

  
  

  Remember how I said iron and paint represented solid messages from God?   My sponsor, who is miracle, just moved to San Jose.  I'll be taking CalTrain to see him.  That's Good.  The Grateful Dead show is in Santa Clara.  A ticket to that show is a miracle. That's Good.  I'll be taking CalTrain there too.  

  
  

    

  

  
  

  Since this is Johnathon 8, it is important I point out that this sign is at the corner of 13th and Mission.   It seems the number 8, 80 and 800 keep showing up.  In fact, I recently wrote that perhaps I had seen 800 concerts (bands) not 1000.  I've been saying, "I've probably seen 1000 concerts."  I was trying not to exaggerate.  I may have seen more!  When I lessoned my estimation, I found that Paul  Street was under Highway 101 on my way to Jerry Garcia Day in McLaren Park.   "I could tell the queen of diamonds, by the way she shined."  I explain a whole lot more below in Loser.

  
  

  Above the corner of 13th and Johnathon is Highway 101.  TWA 800 went down off the coast of Long Island.  The Grateful Dead played Liberty when we saw them on Long Island.  We went to the Top of the World Trade Center that trip.  My favorite quarterback Boomer Esiason who is #7 had an office on the 101st floor of The World Trade Center.  I've already written about these things below and in the past.  If it seems I repeat myself, it's because I keep finding things to reconnect everything.  God is amazing.  I explain more below in He's Gone, Liberty and Loser.  

  
  

  Highway 101 turns into I-80. I-80 runs from San Francisco to New York City.  On it's way, it runs through Chicago and Cleveland.  I've written quite a bit about all of these cities.  I've seen The Grateful Dead in all of them.  They all have major understandings.  

  
  

  I slept under the 1-80 approach to the Bay Bridge while homeless.  As I wrote in Charlie and The Hot Chocolate Kids, I spent my 40th birthday under the I-80 approach to The Bay Bridge.  I guess you could say I was in hell on earth.

  
  

  
  

  My 40th birthday became one of the worst days of my life.  I had never been so sick.  Even when I was sick, Susan would usually help me in some way.  I didn't bother to ask.  I did call her on my birthday.  She said in her usual sincere voice, "I hope you have a good birthday."  I didn't.

  
  

  I spent the evening of my birthday leaning up against a concrete support for the I-80 approach to The Bay Bridge, tweaking, with diarrhea pouring out of me the entire night - Happy Birthday!  In all seriousness, I had never felt so miserable.  I brought it on myself.

  
  

  It was the holidays.  San Francisco, the city we loved, was buzzing with activity.  The street cars and cable cars were decorated for the holidays as was Union Square and Market Street.  It reminded me of the good holidays in San Francisco Susan and I shared together.  I first became a street artist by selling photos I took of the tree at Union Square and the cable cars decorated for Christmas with the small HP Photosmart digital camera Susan's parents bought us before we moved out here.

  
  

  

  
  

  I made Christmas cards to sell.  I remember the first time I set up at Union Square.  My stand consisted of TV dinner tray stands.  I made $80.00!  I was so excited.

  
  

  
  

  You will read more below in He's Gone how Johnathan from CityTeam, who gave me a lot of grace did not like or agree with the Truth about women's beautiful naked butts on bicycles as art.

  
  

  
  

  ⁷ So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

  
  

  Again, don't judge anyone.  I never lived your life.  You never lived mine.  Since I am clean, I'm not that person anymore and I've been looking for Mary a lot lately.  I can't remember her building.  I guess I was "stoned".  I love Mary.

  
  

  I wrote about the "Lola Spider Dance."  Volbeat summed it up for me best with Lola Montez.  I had been loving that song, but could not imagine myself going to a strip club and falling in love with someone.  I had no idea that the real Lola Montez that Volbeat was singing about was a dancer in Europe and moved to the United States to be come a dancer.  In May of 1853 she moved to San Francisco.  Someone read my blog and then on Facebook ask me, "Who is Lola Montez",  I then looked it up and learned she moved to San Francisco during the gold rush.

  
  

  Last week, we had an art group.  That was a first since I've been back to Walden House.  They ask us to draw a machine that led you to using.  I can't get Mary off of my mind, so I drew Lola Montez.

  
  

  

  
  

  I drew Lola Montez with syringes in her hair.  I know I shot up when I was with her, but I'm not looking for Lola Montez.  I'm looking for Mary.

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  Lola Montez is now hanging in meeting room at Walden House on Mission Street.  She's in pretty good company!

  
  

  

  ⁸ And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

  
  

  

  
  "We will surely not forget, the Lola Spider Dance!"

  
  

  
  

  
  

  This message written in concrete is right in front door of Walden House.  It's exactly where I am supposed to be.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (9/28/15 Space - Time)  Mary's voice in my head and I agreed we would meet at City-Hope at 2:25.  I went up there and waited.  Eventually her voice said she didn't want to meet Jesus.  I'm not playing head games with Lola Montez anymore.  The message in front of Walden House is clear, "but she'll catch you in her web."  I won't look for her anymore.  This is for God.  

  
  

  (10/6/15) I have had El Diablo's voice in my head.  He just won't surrender.  It turns out he was the one who met her at City-Hope telling her he was Jesus.  

  
  

  ⁹ And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

  
  

  ¹⁰ When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

  
  

  ¹¹ She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more

  
  

  (10/6/15 - Even though I didn't meet with Mary, I've made sure to tell El Diablo to quit messing with people.  YOU WILL NEVER BE GOD!  Neither will I.  Surrender.)

  
  

  Some more of the lyrics to Lola Montez are:

  
  

  "Hell raising and full of sin, when Lola was dancing and showing her skin."

  
  

  
  

  In Lola Montez I ended it about how Mary was asking me if hell were true.  I didn't have the words to answer the beautiful little angel. I'm trying to find her and let her know how important she is to The Universe.   I published Lola Montez on 12/29/14.  Below is an excerpt:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  She began tweaking out. She was telling me how her dad would kill her if she knew how she behaved.  I felt the fire where she walked.She kept asking me about hell. Over and over and over she would ask me, “is it true?” She asked me as if I knew. Actually, I do. It is true. I was tweaking myself and didn't want to say to her that I knew it was. I can't talk when I'm tweaking. I shouldn't do that shit.  And, I definitely shouldn't be with someone when I do. Especially a beautiful woman. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  ¹² Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

  
  

  ¹³ The Pharisees therefore said unto him, Thou bearest record of thyself; thy record is not true.

  
  

  ¹⁴ Jesus answered and said unto them, Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true: for I know whence I came, and whither I go; but ye cannot tell whence I come, and whither I go.

  
  

  I have written my hard Truth for nine years for anyone to read.

  
  

  ¹⁵ Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man.

  
  

  ¹⁶ And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me.

  
  

  ¹⁷ It is also written in your law, that the testimony of two men is true.

  
  

  ¹⁸ I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me.

  
  

  The 4th and 5th step in 12 step recovery are:

  
  

  4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 

  
  

  5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

  
  

  ¹⁹ Then said they unto him, Where is thy Father? Jesus answered, Ye neither know me, nor my Father: if ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also.

  I have never read that bible verse before.  I have never really read the Bible.  I can personally interpret it when I read it.  My church was Grateful Dead shows!  Get it?  Grateful Dead.

  John 8 has been personally understood.  It was written and it was photographer.  I was once a transsexual prostitutes prostitute.  Shoot me up with meth and I'd be anything to anyone.  Jane is also Susan's mothers name. 

  

  
  

  (9/23/15 Space - Time) I called Sheila to ask about my Aunt Elizabeth who died in 1979.  She believes she died in December.  My Grandpa Beaty, Buster, died 2/15/79.  Everyone always tells me I look like Buster.  I do remember Elizabeth.  I remembered her not being all there.  I asked Sheila about her situation and she told me that she finished high school early because she had a high IQ.  She was getting ready to go to college.  She had to have her tonsils removed and they gave her too much anesthesia and it damaged her brain.

  
  

  (Space - Time - a few days before 9/23/15 )  I knew that photo for a reason.  And, it's at the corner of 13th and Mission - right outside of Walden House.  God and Johnathan made sure I keep my butt in recovery.  It sure seems I like naked butts!   Women's naked butts for me.  What could naked butts, 13th and Mission and recovery possibly have in common?  I guess some things are just meant to be for me.  And, bike wrecks sure keep connecting some amazing understandings.  Keep reading.   I'll explain more when I get to He's Gone.

  I Remember my aunt Elizabeth.  She had special needs.  Michael was visiting his dying mother a couple of days ago and took these.  As I have written, Jane is a nickname I use for a prostitute.   Jane is also Susan's mothers name.  God is so amazing.  And, Mary is absolutely beautiful!  God, why did you make women so beautiful? And  Mary gave birth to Jesus.  And Mary was said to be at the resurrection of Jesus.  I jokingly text Susan earlier that this time Jesus resurrection involved an erection!

  
  

  I realized something else today.  I know I wrote about the Russian who may be our base player.  I know I wrote about Erotic Russia.  I know I wrote about "Russian meteor shower - Not the end of the world."  I know I wrote about "Take me alto 860 Sutter."  I realized something amazing today.  City Church Sutter is at The Russian Center!

  
  

  For a while, the voices were telling me not to write about voices.  Some told me not to write.  Even, my Uncle Danny's voice said, "write the short version."  Towards the end of my using, I had Russians in my head.  One Russian was Vladimer Puttin himself.  He would say Russian people are "Good, Good..." in his Russian.  I couldn't agree more.  I've always felt that way.

  
  

  (10/6/15) - I said Revelations may have a base player.  He's the Russian that was reading Psalms 75 the first day I got there.  On my way to The Bus Stop to watch the Bengals play the other day, I found EON 75 painted on the sidewalk beside Fillmore.    

  
  

  

  
  

  I instantly thought of Revelations Base since he read Psalms 75.   I decided his nickname should be EON 75.  I then looked out in the street and saw this:

  
  

  

  

  David was a man after God's own heart.  EON 75's middle name is David.

  
  

  We give thanks to you, O God; we give thanks to you, And your name is near.  Men have to declare your wondrous works.  

  
  

  “For I proceeded to take a set time; I myself ban judging with uprightness.

  
  

  The earth and all its inhabitants being dissolved,+It was I that adjusted its pillars.” Se′lah. 

  
  

  I said to the foolish ones: “Do not be foolish,” And to the wicked ones: “Do not exalt the horn.

  
  

  Do not exalt YOUR horn on high.Do not speak with an arrogant neck.

  
  

  For neither from the east* nor from the west,Nor from the south is there an exalting.

  
  

  For God is the judge. This one he abases, and that one he exalts.

  
  

  For there is a cup in the hand of Jehovah, And the wine is foaming, it is full of mixture.And he will surely pour out its dregs from it;All the wicked ones of the earth will drain [them] out, drink [them].”

  
  

  But as for me, I shall tell [of it] to time indefinite;I will make melody to the God of Jacob.

  
  

  And all the horns of the wicked ones I shall cut down.  The horns of the righteous one will be exalted.

  
  

  - Psalms 75

  (10/6/15 )  I just went to Walden House for morning meeting.  I got a lot of support from Sibeer who is Muslim and Parker who's nickname is Peter Parker ie Spiderman.  During the meeting, someone had their laptop and computer and was doing something.  The devil was in my head the whole time and I wanted to keep dosing off.  We're getting to the bottom of this bullshit.

  On the way out, I walked with the Russian, EON 75.   First we crossed over:

  
  

  

    

  I can't find the photo, but right in the middle of 13th and Mission is a message written in the concrete that says:

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  I at first thought it might have represented the 2004 Christmas Tsunami that I spoke of before it happened in Contrails:

  
  

  I spoke of a type of natural disaster at a Christmas dinner table hours before that type of natural disaster happened.  As I said in a previous blog, I am not trying to say I am some kind of prophet.  I think maybe we are all “some kind of prophet”.  In any case, I never knew of the significance of these thoughts or discussions until the actual event occurred.  In other words, I was not saying, “This is going to occur”.  I will likely tell details of these incidents in the future.  I guess, here, I am predicting the future!

  
  

  I thought it might have represented the Tsunami When I took it a few weeks ago.  But, I also thought of The Dead's Wave that flag tour.  We waved that flag at the in the middle of 13th and Mission.  Below is one of my shirts.

  
  

  

  

  I then crossed over:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  ⁶ This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

  
  

  
  

  Eve was at the corner of 13th and Mission on her phone.  It was nice to see her.  Now, I've got to get this to San Francisco Chronicle today.

  The Nazi's which were basically The New World Order in many ways, really confused things and messed things up.  Russia lost more people in World War II than anyone.  They were the first to reach Berlin, liberate Auswitch and then burn Hitler's body.  Believe it or not, I even tried to sympathize with Hitler.  Germany was kind of wronged in WWII with the Treaty of Versailles and even the US wasn't sure who's side to get on.  Cincinnati has the highest percentage of German people in The United States.  During World War II Cincinnati changed all the German Street names to more American Street Names.  Susan was German.

  While I'm writing about the band on this new computer of mine, I might as well write about something else that's really cool that happened today.  After I left Walden House today, I stopped in the Fox Plaza lobby.  I've been waiting for 5 packages I have ordered.  I've been going in for over a week.  The packages haven't been there, but I always get a coffee and eat some candy.  The very nice receptionist and I always have a nice conversation.  We almost always talk about how amazing God is.   Today, my computer came!  It wasn't supposed to get here until Friday.  I would like to thank so many of you who showed up to my fundraiser on 2/16/13.  I have over half of the money raised left and it has helped me so much!  Thank you!  I love you and God loves you!

  

  "To a true artist only that face is beautiful which, quite apart from its exterior, shines with the truth within the soul." - Mahatma Gandhi 

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  Another amazing shirt is from my Aunt Donna Proffitt Beaty. The cool thing is, she lives in Cincinnati and the shirt says San Francisco on it!"

  
  

  I may have already written this but I think it must be pointed out that my clean date is 8/13/15.  There was a new moon and a meteor shower that night.  The other night, I went to a Night of City Hope.  I had a blast there, but there was just something about The Majik Majik Orchestra's conductor that was mesmerizing to me.  I couldn't take my eyes off that little firecracker!

  
  

  

  Minna Choi

  
  

  I got a couple more deadhead friends to write about really quick since I began writing about The Greatest Story Ever told which is about Moses and bridges.  In the morning before group, this deadhead who started last week when I did showed me these photos he found on vinyl.  Wouldn't you know it, they were of The Bay Bridge and The Golden Gate Bridge. 

  
  

  

  Before I get back those bridges, I should point out since I have been back at outpatient, they have also started doing the Walden House Creed at the end of the meeting.  We did that at 815.  We all stand around in a circle and hold hands.  Since I was the leader, I picked Rainbow.  He's the other deadhead.  He's been there a while.  He went to both the shows in Santa Clara.  He tells me his Sugar Daddy took him.  He also now lives in The Tenderloin.  When he said where, I asked him if there was a short and cute little Asian woman living on the 3rd floor.  He said he'd keep an eye out for Mary for me.  I love when we do the Walden House Creed.  One person says the first letter of Walden House and we all say:

  W is for who are you 

  A is for ask yourself

  L is for learn to listen

  D is for demanding of yourself

  E is for eagerness

  N is for now is your life

  H is for here is how

  O is for owe it to yourself

  U is for union of body and mind

  S is for satisfaction gained

  E is for eternal change within

  
  

  Members of The Grateful Dead, like many musicians in The Bay area live in Marin.  Since the Grateful Dead played at The Great Pyramid in Giza, I starting to see that Marin is kind of like Egypt.  Bob Weir and Phil Lesh both have restaurants over there that have live music venues in them.  They play at them often.  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I'm considering Marin to be like Egypt and San Francisco to be like Israel.  The big difference is The Pyramid.  The Great Pyramid is in Egypt (Marin).  The Trans American Pyramid is in San Francisco (New Jerusalem).  The Trans American Pyramid is the tallest building in San Francisco.  The Great Pyramid in Egypt was the tallest structure in the world for 3800 years.  I guess you could call it Top of the World.

  
  

  Which brings me back to what I wrote in 2010 about the Top of The World.  Susan and I got to go the top of the south Tower of The Golden Gate Bridge. 

  
  

  
  

  I am really starting to have celestial understandings.  Years ago I went out to the Marin Headlands to take some photos because there was a full moon.  I wanted to create new memories from being out there with art.   The times while using were dark.  I wanted to make them beautiful.  I knew I had to capture something.  I ended up getting the shot I would use for my business card as a street artist.  I had spent so many nights out at Lands End and The Marin Headlands with that bridge which was "always there for me".  I call that photo I took, Standing on the Moon.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  And it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel; and it was a clud and darkness to them, but it gave light by night to these: so that the one came not near the other all the night.

  
  

  
  

  And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided.

  
  

  
  

  - Exodus 14:20-21

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  My Aunt Roberta called me the other day.  Apparently, my Aunt Donna, who is on my dad's side of the family, was on the west side of Cincinnati and dropped in.  They hadn't seen each other in years.  Roberta told me that Donna told her that Danny Jr. did in fact have pancreatic cancer.  I knew it was really hard on Paul, so I understand why Danny committed suicide.  After I survived my attempt, he really supported me.  

  
  

  
  

  Danny Juniors step brother and my step cousin, Navy Dave, hung himself in 2009.    I wrote about that in The Classic Version of Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog.  David's voice has been trying to help me for years.   We all had some good times together.  Keep reading!  And, I'll see them again some day.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  On July 1 2015, Susan sent me an email about how animals die from Pancreatic Cancer: 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "Thought you might find this interesting, given that this is probably what Lexi died from."

  
  

  Pancreatitis: Learn the Symptoms to Help Protect Your Dogs and Cats

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  I love my Lexie Girl.  I miss her!

  
  

  
  

  I once wrote a blog about my favorite cat, Lexie who used to beg me to play guitar. She would walk up to my guitar and start pawing at it and look at me and meow.  Then, while I played, she sat beside me and closed her eyes.  When I would stop she would look at me and meow - "more!"  She was so damn cute.  Her favorite song was Please Come To Boston.

  
  

  (10/6/15)  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Since this is Liberty, I should include a blog about the time I had Pancreatitis.  It was the weekend of Hardly Strictly Bluegrass in Golden Gate Park.  I always go see Steve Earl headline on Saturday night.  I should connect a blog I wrote called The Revolution Starts Now.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "A revolution is an idea which has found its bayonets."

  
  

  
  

  
  

  -Napoleon Bonaparte

  
  

  
  

  (9/14/15 - Space - Time)  Speaking of Pancreatitis, And The Revolution Starts Now, I understood something else about The Book of Revelations recently.  

  
  

  Before I get to the Revelations part, I need to write that I went looking for Mary on Saturday night, 9/12/15.  I really need to find her.  I could really see into her eyes.  I wondered how she could see into mine.  After our amazing sexual marathon, she kept saying her dad will kill her if he knew what she was doing and asking me about hell.  She kept asking me "Is it true?"   I can still see her eyes.  She's beautiful.  I was still pretty high, so I didn't know how to answer her.

  
  

  On 2/24/15, I wrote Bring me to Life.  I love Evanescence.   Amy Lee is beautiful and has a beautiful voice.  Her voice once said to me, "Let The Truth speak for itself!"  I couldn't agree more.  I'm a writer.  And, I really want to talk to Mary.  If I could only find her!  The lyrics to that Evanescence song begin like this:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  How can you see into my eyes like open doors

  Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb

  Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

  Until you find it there and lead it back home

  (Wake me up)

  Wake me up inside

  (I can't wake up)

  Wake me up inside

  (Save me)

  Call my name and save me from the dark

  (Wake me up)

  Bid my blood to run

  (I can't wake up)

  Before I come undone

  (Save me)

  Save me from the nothing I've become

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I thought that when I walked out my door and saw that The Civic Center was lit up red, white and blue, it meant that I may find her.  I have received so many signs about Mary and Liberty and Revelations recently.  

  
  

  

  
  

  I felt it had to mean something.  I had almost brought my good camera, but walking around The Tenderloin after 10:00 PM on a Saturday night with a Nikon D300 probably wouldn't be to wise.  It's more likely that someone would be mad at more for "taking their photo" than anything.  If you don't want to be in my photo, get out the heck out of my streetscape!  I still decided to leave it at home.  I don't need no trouble!

  
  

  People asked me at every corner and everywhere in between if I needed anything.  It really wasn't hard for me to be in such an environment.  It was hard for me to not find Mary.  I feel I need to - for her.  For me too.  I really do love her.  She's beautiful!  She is also an angel to me.

  
  

  I could not find that little hotel where Mary lives (I hope it's not lived).  I looked all around.  Eventually, I was walking down O'Farrell Street.  I got to the corner of Larkin and O'Farrell.  This is exactly where my hell began.   My hell began in, of all places, Little Saigon.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  I first shot up in this piss in the sink hotel above 800.  The number 80 and 800 seem to mean something also.  We took 80 all the way out to San Francisco when we moved here.  Motel 6's allowed pets, so we stayed at 3 on they way out here.  Motel 6-6-6.  We lived in the last one in Vallejo for about a week while we looked for a place in San Francisco.  There is a Motel 6 at the other corner of Larkin.  It's at Larkin and Geary.  Jane lived at Larkin and O'Farrell.  Above 800.  As you will read, I was near where TWA 800 went down while in Long Island to see The Grateful Dead in 1993.  They played Liberty that night as the encore.

  
  

  I realized something else about "Little Saigon".  More of my hell began there in the late 90's.  Little Saigon is certainly where my addiction to one thing has led me to an addiction to another.  For starters, I need to go back to the time when my friend Kirk (The Giggler) and his cousin who is also my friend, Todd (Hotlanta) were staying at The Civic Center Motor Inn.  We would end up going to visit their Grandpa Dale in Groveland, California.  We would visit Yosemite or as I like to call it, God's Country for our first time.  We also visited The Iron Door nightly.  

  
  

  Peter Barsotti who was Bill Grahams right hand man owned The Iron Door.  It's the oldest saloon in California.  While there, we would talk to a person who was I believe Mr. Barsotti's wife, Bettike.  She told us lots of great stories about The Grateful Dead.   Kirk and Todd's grandpa, Dale liked to go to the Iron Door and do Karaoke.  On one of the walls there was a photo of Dale up on stage.  The photo next to his was of Bob Weir up on stage.  We visited Dale a few times.  In fact, when we visited Yosemite that time I wrote about in Contrails, we were in Groveland to help him move to Cincinnati.  I wrote:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Last March two of my really good friends flew out to help their grandpa move from Groveland, California to Cincinnati.  Groveland is a beautiful little mountain town about 20 miles from Yosemite.  We had some great times at their Grandpa’s house - especially at the Iron Door and atop their grandpa’s roof!  Their Grandpa is a great guy.  He lived in Groveland for many years.  Even though Groveland is a beautiful town, surrounded by mountains and trees, their grandpa decided he wanted to be with his family surrounded by the ones he loves.  I can’t say I blame him.  He has great family.

  
  

  My wife, our dog and I went to Groveland to lend a hand and to spend one more night in that place that had such good memories.  When the truck was loaded and our friends headed east, we went to Yosemite for three days.

  
  

  
  

  While Kirk, Todd and I were staying at The Civic Center Inn, we were very drunk.  The two of them passed out and I, as usual, went wondering around the street.  I didn't have to wander to far.  I wandered into an Asian Massage Parlor at the corner of Larkin and Pearl.  I had never been to one.  Since I will name the massage parlor, I'll just say it was a good massage.  I will name the massage parlor because I would years later understand that it's name is Susan's Massage Parlor.  I was married to Susan.  I was really drunk, but it was wrong.

  
  

  
  

  With whom the kings of the earth have committed fornication, and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her fornication.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Revelations 17:2

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  Years later, while living in San Francisco, I would end up at the corner of Larkin and O'Farrell with Jane.  I will write Jane Says in the future.   It really captures the beginning of my hell on earth.  It was right in the heart of Little Saigon.

  
  

  You will also read below about Project Open Hand which is located on Polk between Willow and Ellis.  It's my being involved in recovery and Roshambo's film projects that has helped me find my way out of hell on earth.  Many addicts in 12 step recovery do service for their community and their fellow addicts.  

  
  

  Late Saturday night while looking for Mary, I also realized something else about Olive Street.  City Church recently completed City Hope in that alley.  I spent a lot of time in that alley over the years.  Great American Music Hall has so much to do with what I have been writing about and what I will write about.  Susan and I once saw Rat Dog there.  I believe it was 2009.  I'll explain much more about Great American Music Hall in the future.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I walked in that alley and leaned against the wall.  I had spent so much time in this location over the years.  There were some dark and hard times spent in that alley.  However, I did make some friends out there on the street sometimes.  I spent some with my friend Mike, who was in "Big" Saigon.  He was a Vietnam Vet.  He was a pretty hardcore alcoholic.  He made it through Vietnam and then came back to San Francisco and got hit by a Volkswagen and lost his leg.  He was originally from West Virginia.    I assume he's gone now.  I haven't seen him for years.  Years after I met him, he would end up panhandling in his wheel chair at the corner of 7th and Mission.  That's where Susan and I lived.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I looked to my right and saw City Hope.  I looked to my left and saw The Hilton my dad stayed in that always reminded me of his visit.  I was beginning to see this building to represent a candlestick.  I can also see this building from Mary Alley.  That's the two Candlesticks.  I thought that perhaps women may represent olive trees.  I was married to Susan and Susan's Massage parlor is on the corner of Larkin and Olive.  And, I was looking for Mary.  I can see the candlestick on Mary Alley behind the Chronicle.  City Hope which is City Church is on Olive Street Between Larkin and Polk.  Fox Plaza is on Polk.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before the God of the earth

  
  

  
  

  
  

  - Revelations 11:4

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

  
  

  
  

  - Psalms 128:3

  
  

  I walked back towards Fox Plaza.  I was disappointed I didn't find Mary.  I figured I'd at least get a photo of the red, white and blue civic center with Fox Plaza in the photo for Liberty. 

  
  

  

  
  

  Fox Plaza is on the far left of this photo.  As I walked passed the front doors, I heard "Whoa, sweet child of mine."   I always liked Guns and Roses, but I thought it was an interesting song to hear coming out of the Civic Center.  This beautiful young lady was standing out front and I asked her what was going on.  She told me it was a wedding.  

  
  

  I was a feeling a little defeated.  Crying in the alley took it out of me.  And, I can't find Mary.  I had not smoked a cigarette since 9/30/15.  I will write below how that date became understood.  Something else gets understood on 9/30/15.  I write about it below.  I picked up three 1/2 cigarettes out of the ash tray outside the Civic Center and smoked them.  I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I did.

  
  

  Smoking, as usual, made me feel awful.  As far as my pancreatitis a couple of years ago goes and writing The Revolution Starts Now, in the middle of the night, I felt like I was having pancreatitis again in the middle of the night.  I drank some grape juice which seemed to help.  I don't think it was smoking related, but my stop smoking date is now 9/13/15.

  
  

  Last December, I thought I was having pancreatitis again.  After a night of extreme pain and voices telling me to go to the hospital, I finally got on a bus and went to General Hospital.  At first they said I had hepatitis.  It ended up being that I had to have my gallbladder removed.  Being in the hospital reminded me how precious life was.  The first blog I wrote after getting out of the hospital was Lola Montez.  "If drugs weren't involved in our all night relationship, I'd be in love with her."

  
  

  So where am I? Oh yeah, I'm in California.  I guess I was a Loveland Tiger. "And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard."    And, I'll never give up on my Cincinnati Bengals. "And his mouth as the mouth of a lion."  Now, just across the bay is U.C. - Berkeley.  They are the Bears.  "and his feet were as the feet of a bear."  Which reminds me, I was a U.C. Bearcat.  My Bearcat Jewish classmate called me Bear.   I'm not a Bears fan though!  "And the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority."  The last blog I published on 6/19/15 was Warriors.  I am a Warriors fan! That blog ended like this, "I found a Warriors song!  This one is from Imagine Dragons.  I need to stop chasing that dragon - to hell!"

  
  

  Again, since this is Liberty, it is important that I point out that the current United States Speaker of the House is John Boehner.  A member of the Republican Party, he is the U.S. Representative from Ohio's 8th congressional district, serving since 1991. The district includes several rural and suburban areas near Cincinnati and Dayton.  He was born in Reading, Ohio.  Home of the Blue Devil's.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  The U.S. Speaker of the House before John Boehner was Nancy Pelosi.  She is a member of the Democratic Party, Pelosi represents California's 12th congressional district, which consists of four-fifths of the city and county of San Francisco.  She was the first woman to serve as U.S. Speaker of the House. She was born in Baltimore, Maryland.  Home of the Ravens.

  
  

  

  
  

  I'm back at Walden House (Wally World was the nickname.  I just  wrote about not using nicknames below.  Unless, of course, I know you're an addict.  I'll share my secrets, not yours.  If I'm using your name, I appreciate you or I love you!  Perhaps you love me too.  Recently, the voices were telling me they loved me.  I said, "I was loved."  I guess I have trouble loving myself.  Thank you.

  
  

  Susan loved me.  We still love each other, but I'm so over her.  She seems happy.  I remember how I would tell her I found things 0n the ground all the time by looking down at the ground.  I also received messages.  Specifically, when we lived on Minna Street between 6th (Shakedown Street) and Seventh Street, there would lots of syringes and crack sacks on the ground.  Crack sacks are miniature zip lock baggies people sell drugs in.  

  
  

  Although, they are called crack sacks, I don't remember ever buying crack in one of those.  However, I almost always got my meth in crack sacks.  One time, I pointed this out to Susan and she said, "You know they also sell buttons in those bags."  So, we started calling them button bags.  She also advised me one time to stop looking down and "Look up".  I knew I'd make a believer out of her some how!  While were on the subject of subject, I might as well include a link to a blog I wrote on April 12, 2015 - Look to the Sky.

  
  

  Before we leave the subject, I might as well tell another story.  I left Walden House yesterday.  I'm in "the penalty box".  I'll explain somewhere below.  Yesterday was 8/27/15.  I was walking home and was looking to the ground.    I find messages written on the sidewalk that way.  I had these cute lady like voices in my head helping me along the way.  I was kind of laughing and said "The messages always happen that way, but it's not like I can always think about one and make it happen."  As I have written in the past, I so often will be thinking of something before a message appears.  A few steps later, they said, "Look up!"  

  
  

  

  
  

  I thought thanks cute lady voices.  Your Good advice to look up is smart.  In fact, it's a "SmartPass" to the ENTRANCE to heaven!  Wow, I sure manipulated that prophecy, huh?  Not so fast.  I took a couple more steps and looked back down.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Below, in this blog, I will write more interesting and closely connected 666 understandings that I have been personally linked to.  I might as well include the 18th and final verse in the 13th Chapter of Revelations that I recall from when  I was 5 years old.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  ¹⁸ Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  God cares about people.  Especially kind, hardworking, loving, caring, honest and even non-believing people.  However, I think it's important to us and God, that we believe.  And, remember, God has no religion.  My Higher Power I call God is The Universe.  But, then I again I'm the American Idiot.  God cares about Idiots and addicts.  And, if I recall since I haven't made it past Chapter 13 in Revelations,  God wants to get people out of hell.  

  
  

  
  

  I jumped off the 5th floor of a parking garage above a train station.  My death was imminent.  The world was coming to an end as a result of a meteor shower on April 1st, 2013.  The devil's voice in my head said it would be a "never ending hell".  I obviously survived my jump.  "If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting." (See Contrails).   I was in the hospital for 5 1/2 month and Walden House's inpatient recovery program for 5.  I was blessed with my dream come true by being placed on the 26th floor of a skyscraper.  On my first night here, I used.  I'm an addict.

  
  

  Things got pretty dark again.  Again, I was heading to hell.  The devil's voice specifically spoke of 1000 years and how Susan and others close to me would have to wait for me to get to them and I had a whole lot of hell heading my way.  Still, when the devil came to me years ago to buy my soul, I chose GOD!  

  
  

  And, the day when Susan left San Francisco and we were saying our goodbyes, a song happened to come on the radio.  I, of course, wrote a blog about it.  On August 1st, 2012 I published a blog titled A Thousand Years.  It ends like this:

  
  

  
  

  This song coincidentally enough came on the radio before I left.  Susan and I listened to this song in our last moments together.  She said "How did you know that was my song to you?"  How couldn't I?  I'll always love you Sus.  Good luck.  See you someday.

  
  

  
  

  It would be dark for them or something like that.  I don't remember the details, I was tweaking.  I kept using, after all, I am schizoaffective.  I thought that meant I became schizophrenic when I used.  Actually, it means I am schizophrenic and Bi-Polar or Depressed.  I looked that one up myself one day on the way to General Hospital.  Whatever it meant, the devil said he wanted hell to end.  I can't say I could blame him.  Eventually, it would seem that the devil was in fact going to start helping people.  

  
  

  God got me out of hell on earth.   I helped myself too by writing my truth to you.  And, me. I did just go back and start reading my own blog at the end of April, 2015.

  The quote below is from BBBB, ie Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog, ie Blah, Blah, Blah, Bl....  I wrote November 3rd, 2006.   It was titled Contrails.

  
  

  After I talked to my dad, three days before he died, I went out and got high.  My dad died sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning.  That night, I found an angel on the streets of San Francisco.  Although my wife hated when I brought junk I would find on the streets home all the time, I picked this one up and kept it.  It now sits with the many other things I have found on my wanderings"

  
  

  

  Photographs are important to my blog.

  
  

  Star Phish(ing?), San Dollars and Crosses mean a lot to what has been written.  My little brother I very recently referred to as Cincinnati (nickname) in the blog Cumberland Blues, saw a light in the sky the night my dad died.  He also communicated "Live Life" in that Blah, Blah, Blah in a photograph of himself which had a light behind him in the sky.  It was dark out.  It was.  Except for the Light.

  
  

  Contrails continued....

  
  

  Sunday I spent about 3 hours talking to an older gentleman in a San Francisco alley.  I told this guy the insanities of my childhood.  He told me the insanities of his.  His were insane.  He was an ex-Marine.  My dad loved his country.  He seemed to regret not being able to serve for his country.  Looking back, I have to wonder if this was somehow, in some way, my dad telling me of his insanity."

  As a Street Artist in San Francisco, this was my number one selling photo.    I must get clean. The Blue Angels were nearly perfectly caught in the opening of the south tower of The Golden Gate Bridge -  Top  of  TheWorld!   That's the tower Man Smart (Woman Smarter) and I went to the top of in 2010.  That blog was called Top  of  The World!  It was written 5 years ago.  It's now 2015.   Coincidentally enough, David was 15 when he defeated Goliath. 

  I also published a blog on October 4, 2012 called Jet Fighter.  "Jesus is coming...."  Keep reading!

  (10-8-15) Wow!  I was having a hard time just now because Paul from City Church told me I couldn't come in on Sunday.  I hung up on him.  

  
  

  I was really not understanding why and needed to talk to someone.  I called my "brother", Marty (Eyes of the World).  He didn't answer, but he text me would call me back.

  
  

  Then I heard the Blue Angels started practicing again.  I went outside on my porch and they made a perfect swing around right over the top of my building!  I thought, wow!  That was awesome.  Right after it happened, President Obama's voice said, "They did that for you!"  WOW!

  
  

  I then remembered my cousin Jimmy who was at the Pentagon on September 11, 2001 and would eventually die in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan.   Jimmy let me know that he was up there for me too.  I thought, "That is so cool!"

  
  

  Then, Jimmy said, "Okay Dave, they know where you are.  We're gonna send our Blue Angels over you again!"

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (11/9/15) Today I went do the Ferry Building to write my blog and display my sign for the second day in a row.  I had Tommy the Tyrant Martin Mafia and Terrible Todd Masons Child in my head the whole time being just brutal.  They are disgusting pigs.
  
  
  

  

  
  This black gentleman walked by with shopping cart and said, "You're right about that man.  He only cares about himself."  I said, "We got that right!"  And, then I thought, "He's was once a Tuskegee Airman.   He then said, "I was in the Air Force."  To which I replied, "You must have been with The Tuskegee Airmen."  He smiled and said, "I'm not that old."  I said, "Well you once were."  He smiled and said, "That was an honor!"
  
  
  

  

  
  
  I suspect he was also a Buffalo Soldier.  Buffalo Soldiers are buried in The Presido which opened in 1776.  This is Liberty (Revelation).   Today, a thunderstorm rolled into San Francisco and yesterday  realized that Bill Pittman may once have Bill Pittman who wrote "Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head." in 1920.  That's where they want to move back to, but it can't happen. I suppose the Tuskegee Airmen dropped some "rain" drops on peoples heads.  I guess it's only appropriate that their is a Buffalo Soldier Tree in the Presideo.
  
  
  

  

  
  I once wrote a blog titled Top of the World about how Susan I went to the top of the South Tower of The Golden Gate bridge in 2010 - the year she saved my life.  Today, lightning struck in 3 locations.  That's so rare here.  I've felt more earthquakes than I've heard Thunder.  One was on the South Tower of the Golden Gate Bridge.  The one we went to the top of.
  
  
  

  

  "You've been, THUNDER STRUCK!"
  

  Another one struck in the near by Presideo National Cemetery.  The Buffalo Soldier Tree was spared, but it won't survive the THUNDER STRIKING OF AN ASTEROID."

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  The third lightning bolt to strike today was in the South Bay near Golden Gate National Cemetery.  I once photographed that cemetery.  God cares about soldiers who fight for good.  They will we be replenished with life.  "There is no such thing as an atheist in a fox hole."  Tuskegee Airmen are buried in that cemetery.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

   Tuskegee Airmen Tree
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  "Wake up to find out the you are the eyes of the world."

  
  

  Golden Gate National Cemetery

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (10/5/15) Right after I placed this up today, I got on Facebook and saw something Colton, one of The Hot Chocolate Kids got done today!  He typed:

  
  

  I got this plane piece done on my arm today! Planes are especially important to me because my grandpa used to take me to the Air Force base when I was little and teach me all about them. He passed away this year and this is in memory of him. 
  
  My whole arm will eventually be a vintage traveling theme. So far we have Map, compass, ship, plane. 
  
  Anyone know what's next? 
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  I suggested:

  
  

  I think you deserve something about the book of Revelation!

  
  

  (10/10/15) I went to Walden House today.  On my way there I saw Mary (Mary Magdalene, Lola Montez,  Mary Jane) and right after that I saw Minna Choi (My little firecracker).  I thought, "Why did I see those two?"

  
  

  While at Walden House earlier that day, I was having a really hard time with evil voices in my head.  I told the devil he needed to release those black soldiers he cares nothing about.  He cares only about their souls for his gain.  

  
  

  I met with Chris.  I was a little curious why he wouldn't type the words, "I fear no evil and I a have complete faith in God" on his computer when he did my evolution, but I'm not judging anyone.  I leave that up to God.  My Higher Power I call God is The Universe.

  
  

  On my way home, I was thinking about all of the insanity I have been through.  I then reached the corner of Mission and Van Ness.  Right as I walked passed Goodwill, I saw Mr. Goodwill himself.   I never wrote about how I went to The Celestial last Christmas.  I had just gotten out of the hospital.  I wrote about that in Lost in my Mind.

  
  

  
  

  I then continued walking and started thinking about Mary again.  As I was, I looked over and saw 2 Pilipino men and I recognized them from my using days.  Then I thought about Mary and I saw:

  
  

  

  
  

  Then I realized, "That must be Mary's Dad!"  She is Pilipino.  I walked on and started thinking about Minna Choi again and just then the Blue Angels buzzed Fox Plaza.

  
  

  I realized that if it weren't for Bank of America, that #2 DAD would connect with Jesse Street.  Jesse was King David of the Bible's dad.  We just got some good links going on.  We all make mistakes.  I was thinking about just how beautiful Mary really is and as I walked, I saw out of the corner of my eye.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Now, that looks like Mary!  Much like the one at the corner of Howard and Mary Street.  The voices tell me that Rudy is Mary's dad.  They are both Pilipino.  Since I had sex with his daughter for almost 5 hours, I guess Rudy and I are even.  "May peace prevail on this earth".

  
  

  I then got close to Fox Plaza and thought about how the Blue Angels were going to he cool.  Then, the flew so low right above me!  I thought, "That was awesome"

  
  

  I was planning on writing about something I saw a few months ago already, but after yesterday, I need to write it now.  

  
  

  A few months ago, I had been tweaking and up all night and in the morning, I saw this beautiful woman on the sky scraper to the left of me.  She was a beautiful Asian woman who was nude and having her photos taken.  She looked like Mary!  If my camera wasn't in the pawn shop, I may have taken photos, but I felt like I shouldn't be looking.  However, she was beautiful.

  
  

  

  
  

  About a month later, I saw a couple of kids on the roof of the tallest building across from that was just remodeled into housing.  This was when my neighbors seemed to be letting me know that voices were in fact people.  I thought, "If kids can here me and see me, I can't be doing this drug."  However, I also thought, "kids?"  

  
  

  About, a month later, I saw this hot little Asian woman walking across the roof of this church down below.  I thought, "That's Mary."  She walked just like her.  "We will surely not forget, the Lola Spider Dance!"  I then remembered that Jesus's mothers name was Mary and thought, "Are we supposed to have kids?"  

  
  

  Then, later that day I called Marilynn and was telling her about what I've been writing.  She was not able to access my blog, but I told her about all the characters I had been and how my dad was once General Burnside.  I told her how her dad was Boppa NASA Mars Hotel.  He worked for NASA.  Mars Hotel is vital.  I told Marilynn she was probably someone important.  She said, "I was probably a God", and then laughed.  I said, "Perhaps a Goddess."  I then realized something I noticed on the graffiti wall of Mary Magdalene.

  
  

  

  
  

  I know there has always been some confusion between Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary, but when I saw this, I realized, my step-mother Marilynn was probably Mother Mary.  She was once with Joseph.

  
  

  Then, I started looking down towards that church rooftop that I saw hot little Mary trot across.  The smaller building in front of it was had not yet begun being torn down.  As I was looking at that building, it occurred to me. They are tearing down the beast so I can see that little church.  That beast just happened to be AAA Automotive.  I know we love our cars, but we need to think of this planet.  All of the sudden 4 Blue Angels soared right over head!  It was so AWESOME!

  
  

  

  
  

  I was once again told by President Obama that they did that for me!  That was so COOL!

  
  

  They did a few passes overhead and I have talked to my neighbors in this building and all have said they were never that close to Fox Plaza.  It was so cool.  I told my neighbors "They're doing that for Fox Plaza."

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  After I realized our Blue Angels our up there guarding over us and that the beast was being torn down, I noticed something.  Another cute little Asian woman was walking across the church rooftop. 

  
  

  
  

  

  I instantly thought, "Minna Choi!"  The beast is getting torn down for Minna Choi.  I guess God agrees with my Minna Choice!

  
  

  Contrails continued....

  "After we spoke, I went home.  I walked in the door and my wife was waiting.  She didn’t have to say a word.  I said “Who?”  (Even though I knew)  She said, “It’s your dad, he died”.  I had said over and over my dad was going to die if he didn’t get help.  He had even told me three days before he wanted to die.  Even so, nothing could have prepared me for that moment.  I had a nervous breakdown.  My wife told me she thought she was going to have to take me to the hospital.  Eventually, I exhausted myself to sleep.
  
  

  The Blah, Blah, Blah, better known as Beaty's Babbling Brain Blog -  Contrails  ends like this....

  
  

  "I knew God would be with me.  God always will be - Time after Time.   God will be here for us all.  Hopefully, so will I."

  
  

  "The Stone Has Been Thrown."  As in The Grateful Dead's song Throwing Stones - one of my favorites. Thanks Rudy.

  
  

  August 3, 2015. Quickly, yet necessary.  I got denied social security.  I'm an addict.  I went by an attorney that the nice lady from the SSI office recommended.  On my way, I was talking to Sax Player from The Alanos on my mobile phone.  She was telling me how her Concert Band just performed for one of their members.   God cares about good people with good inattentions. Sounds like she went fast. 

  
  

  Sax Player and I were discussing how hard it can be to understand God sometimes.  While at the corner of 7th and Market on August 3, 2015, I ran into Rudy.   In the past, he was "looking for a  fight."  That's how I chose the blogs Throwing Stones title. I published it on 6/12/12.  It sure means A LOT more now than it did when I chose his nickname and that song for that blog.  Thank you GOD. The photo from above is from my blog Touch of Grey.  

  
  

  As I said, I wrote that one the day I learned Man Smart (Woman Smarter) was pregnant with  Althea.  She is very wise!  So, am I David?  As in David and Goliath?  I also fit the profile of The American Idiot.  (See  Sleepless in Santa Cruz).   Psalms is poetry and/or music that David (from the Bible) wrote.  Many would agree, Addiction is Goliath.  And, David killed Goliath with a stone.  I heard Hollywood is coming out with a  David And Goliath movie this year - 2015.  I'll have to see that one.

  
  

  At the 50th Anniversary - Fare Thee Well, The Grateful Dead would end up playing songs in a perfect understanding to what I have been writing for the past nine years.  Especially this year.  Coincidently enough, this came out this year:

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Saw a bird with a tear in his eye

  Walking to New Orleans, my oh my

  Hey, now, bird, wouldn't you rather die

  Than walk this world when you're born to fly?

  If I was the sun, I'd look for shade

  If I was a bed, I would stay unmade

  If I was a river I'd run uphill

  If you call me you know I will

  If you call me you know I will

  Ooo, freedom, ooo, liberty

  Ooo, leave me alone

  To find my own way home

  To find my own way home

  Say what I mean and I don't give a damn

  I do believe and I am who I am

  Hey now mama come and take my hand

  Whole lotta shakin' all over this land

  If I was an eagle, I'd dress like a duck

  Crawl like a lizard and honk like a truck

  If I get a notion I'll climb this tree

  Or chop it down and you can't stop me

  Chop it down and you can't stop me

  Ooo, freedom, ooo, liberty

  Ooo, leave me alone

  To find my own way home

  To find my own way home

  
  

  Went to the well but the water was dry
  Dipped my bucket in the clear blue sky
  Looked in the bottom and what did I see?
  The whole damned world looking back at me

  If I was a bottle I'd spill for love
  Sake of mercy I didn't kill for love
  If I was a liar, I'd lie for love
  Sake of my baby, I'd die for love
  Sake of my baby, I'd die for love

  Ooo, freedom, ooo, liberty
  Ooo, leave me alone
  To find my own way home
  To find my own way home
  I'm gonna find my own way home

  
  

  I have to end Part I there.  I've been writing this blog for 3 months and these evil voices and people in the flesh have been relentless.  I have to get this sent to The San Francisco Chronicle! 
  
  Coming as soon as this evil or this freedom will allow, Part II and Part III .

  
  

  And since Green Bean's really been here for me lately, it's important this is a Wake me up when September Ends.  I'll end Part I with an excerpt from it:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  One day I was wondering around The Presidio near the shore by the Golden Gate Bridge and met this old black man.  He was 80 years old.  He called himself, "Jack the Bean Stalk."  He had just gotten to San Francisco.  He told me had never been there or in The Presidio.  He had just gotten out of prison.  He was in prison for 50 years.  

  
  

  He was nice enough, but something about him didn't make sense.  He told me he was from New Orleans.  But he said, "I just had to get out of New Orleans."  He made a point of telling me this many times.  To such a degree,  I took notice of his reiterated comments.  He'd look me in the eye and say, "I had to get out of New Orleans."  It was strange to me.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  He then asked me if I wanted to do some meth.  I of course did.  Most of my time at The Presidio was spent in this very private remote cove that was very hard to find.  One could only reach it during very low tide or by a very hard climb down to it.  It was surrounded by at least a hundred feet of cliffs on three sides and the waterway known as the Golden Gate on the other.  It was very near the mouth to the Pacific Ocean and huge waves would break in that little cove.   Jack the Bean Stalk who said he had never been there before walked us down this windy path right to it.  It was very low tide.  In tide cycles, I learned from being around them, that there are two high tides and two low tides.  One is very high and one is very low - the other two are in between.  It was very low so we ran around to the little cove as no wave was coming in.  He sm0ked some meth with me. I really wanted to shoot some, but not with him of course and something just didn't feel right to me.  I finally said I had to go.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  When I got home, I told Susan about this strange old man who, "Just had to get out of New Orleans."  She just thought I was crazy as usual.  A week later I was at Ocean Beach.  I felt a staph infection coming on.  I was at a very dark secluded part of the beach by the sand dunes.  Two strangers walked up and said, "Did you know the New Orleans is getting hit by a huge hurricane?"  I had no idea.  It was Hurricane Katrina.  I didn't think much of it.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I was starting to be in lot of pain.   I knew I was getting a bad staph infection on my right front pelvic area.  It got to where I could hardly walk.  It was about size of a softball.  I hobbled to Baker Beach, near my private cove.  I built a fire, took out my knife, cut a 7-Up can in half and filled it with water.  I boiled the water. I put a hot cloth on the infection and began cutting it open with my knife.  It was so painful, but I had to open it up.  I did have some success, but would ultimately have to call Susan to come get me and take me to urgent care.  That is where that 2 inch scar is today where the doctors had to finish opening it up for me.  It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.  It just wouldn't get numb no matter how much they tried to numb it with a local anesthetic.  Everywhere they stuck a needle in the tender infection it would shoot blood and puss.  So Romantic.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I ended up being laid up on the couch for a long time.  All that was on television was the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.  I was so miserable and it was a miserable thing to watch.  Then I remembered Jack the Bean Stock and how he said over and over, "I just had to get out of New Orleans."  I called Susan and asked her, "Do you remember how I told you something wasn't right about this guy?  Do you remember where I told you he kept telling me he he had to get out of?"  She recalled, "New Orleans."  That storm didn't even exist yet.

  
  

  
  

  I had no idea what all that was about.  I still don't.  Something I thought -something bigger.  I have no idea who Jack the Bean stalk was.  I also forgot to write above that he seemed to know a lot about me.  He told me if I ever needed something to eat, to come find him at Carl's Junior at 7th and Market.  I lived a block away.   It seemed many have tried to help me over the years.

  If I recall correctly, it was not long after all this, I started hearing voices.  Talk about scaring me.  I used to run like hell in the early days of hearing voices.  The voices were those of my friends and family - alive and dead.  They were of strangers.   Police.  Actually, they were originally that of neighbors - and Police.  Then came the devil.  Then there was of course - God.  It was all so real to me.  I heard things and saw things.  It seemed I was existing in a parallel universe at times.  I still think that is truly possible.
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